Archive for the ‘Real Nanny Stories’ Category

Holiday Spirit: Nannies help families devastated by Hurricane Sandy

Thursday, November 29th, 2012

Hurricane Sandy-related fire damage in New York’s coastal area. Click image to enlarge. (Photo courtesy of Beth Lehmann).

Natural disasters bring out the best and worst of humanity.

In a horrifying footnote to the Hurricane Sandy aftermath, several New York City homeowners devastated by the storm reported burglaries over Thanksgiving weekend. The pattern follows an overall rise in crime and looting this month in Queens and surrounding areas. According to the New York Post, there were 14 home break-ins from Nov. 12-18 in the Breezy Point area alone, compared to none during the same time period last year.

However, in many other cases, theft hasn’t happened because there’s been nothing worth stealing. Homes have been flooded or completely knocked off foundations.

As a longtime volunteer with New York Cares, nanny Beth Lehmann is doing her best to balance out the equation. For every stranger who tries to take advantage of the crisis, there’s another stranger reaching out with kindness. For the duration of the hurricane relief effort, Beth has been sorting and delivering donated food and supplies to disabled and elderly citizens who cannot otherwise access them. She also has been canvassing neighborhoods in Coney Island, Howard Beach and the Rockaways, talking to seniors about their medicinal needs.

“I found all these muscles I forgot I had,” says Beth, a 26-year career nanny who recently wrapped up a 10-year assignment with the same family. “It’s one thing to see the destruction on TV, but when you are physically there, you see the people and their emotions up close. You see houses tilted off their foundations and people scared to leave their homes because of looters. Their feelings become your feelings, It really drives home your compassion.”

“When you step into one of these neighborhoods, you can instantly smell the destruction,” she adds. “Words can’t describe the shock. It feels like I’m in a far away war zone, even though it’s a 20-25 minute drive from where I live. Most people in Manhattan have no idea about the full extent of the devastation.”

New York career nanny Beth Lehmann wants to spread some random kindness.

Beth is also the founder of Nannies Supporting Sandy Victims, an independent charity project aiming to distribute $250 cash gifts to random strangers demonstrating need. For the first stage of the project, she is hoping to raise $1,500 from fellow nannies and their families to fund six care packages. To date, she has raised $1,020.

“That might not sound like a lot of money to some people, but it’s a lot when you have nothing. I’ve always wanted to do this,” she says. “I love the idea of spreading random acts of kindness.”

Inside the blank cash envelope is a note that reads:

Hello,
We know this isn’t much, but hope it will help you.
Just spreading a bit of sunshine your way.
A Random Act of Kindness.
Love,

Nannies Supporting Sandy Victims

Beth determines which strangers are good candidates for the gift by listening to people’s stories that they share with her as a city volunteer.  Like the TV show “Secret Millionaire,” her targets have no idea she is giving away money. The nanny has no timeline for giving away money, nor any upper limit, as that will depend on the level of donations. So far, she has given away one envelope — to a woman in the Rockaways who is going through dialysis treatment but has no place to bring her toddler during her appointments.

“She lost her daycare because of the floods,” Beth says. “Hopefully, this can cover her babysitting costs until they figure out a solution.”

“I walked away as she opened the envelope. She sat down on the floor and cried. I had tears in my eyes and walked out of the area. I spoke with her priest later and he was beyond thankful. The mom spoke to priest and had him relay the message that she blessed us and said we were ‘angels’ for doing what we did,” she adds.

Lingering Damage from Hurricane Sandy — a fishing boat landed on an unsuspecting homeowner’s lawn. (Photo courtesy of Beth Lehmann).

“Some nannies have emailed me and said they want to donate money instead of exchanging gifts with each other this year. I also have some nanny agencies helping me spread the word. I’m hoping the whole nanny industry will rally around this idea,” Beth says.

No More Boardwalk — Coastal devastation in the Rockaways. Click image to enlarge. (Photo courtesy of Beth Lehmann).

If you’d like to donate to Nannies Supporting Sandy Victims, visit their FundRazr page or the organization’s Facebook page.

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Nanny of the Year Series: “Every Family Should Have a Becky”

Friday, August 17th, 2012

Becky Kavanagh, the 2006 “Nanny of The Year”

INA “Nanny of the Year” Profile

Name: Becky Kavanagh
Location: Eden Prairie, Minnesota
Year Honored: 2006
Experience: 22 years
Past Jobs: Assistant Director of a child care center, teacher, certified medical assistant.
Hobbies: Scrapbooking, Girl Scout leader, jewelry making, travel, sewing.
Fun Facts: Becky is nicknamed “The Scrapbook Goddess” and participates in 3-4 scrapbook getaways each year.
Nannying In a Nutshell: “Children are the most amazing people. If we could all retain some of the imagination, open thinking, curiosity, and zest for living that children have, I think the world would be a lot better place.”

Unlike many jobs, nannying has a fixed expiration date — even when the employer and the nanny are a perfect match.  Children grow up and mission accomplished!  In some cases, the profession creates lifelong relationships as precious as any family or friendship bond.

Becky Kavanagh spent the first 20 years of her 22-year nannying career with the same Minnesota family, playing an instrumental role in the development of their three children. Yet, the kindergarten days still seem like yesterday.

One day, she recalls, the middle child was crying when he got off the bus. His mother asked what was wrong. He looked up with an anguished expression and said, “Did you know that not everyone has a Becky? Some kids have to go to daycare!”

“He was beside himself and couldn’t grasp why all families didn’t have Beckys to help them,” a flattered Becky recalls with a grin. “At 22, he still thinks that every family should have a Becky.”

SWINGING THROUGH THE YEARS: Becky enjoys some recreational time with her Minnesota charges a few years back.

Becky’s employers went through some personal struggles over the years, ultimately separating in a divorce. The one thing that remained constant in the children’s lives was their nanny.

“They both continued to be active, hands-on parents,” Becky says. “After several years, mom remarried which was another adjustment for everyone. This family, their extended family and friends are all intertwined in my life and will be for years to come.”

Her current family also has three children — an 8-year-old boy, a 15-year-old boy and a 17-year-old girl — whose school schedules allow Becky time to serve as the co-president of the International Nanny Association. The INA, a nonprofit educational association for the in-home child care industry, provides training and career guidance to newbies and experienced nannies alike.

“Beginners should have a clear work agreement with the family that also includes periodic performance reviews,” she suggests. “Lines of communication need to be open, which means clarifying how to best communicate with Mom and/or Dad. For us, this meant calling to check in with me periodically throughout the day, keeping a log for each child — noting activities, mood, food intake, bathrooming, etc. — along with having time to sit down and chat face-to-face at least weekly.”

One of the biggest misconceptions that Becky hears all the time about her job is that only wealthy families can afford to have a nanny.

“That’s not true,” she insists. “Families of all backgrounds choose a nanny for their child care because they see the larger benefits to their family. These can include having care take place in their child’s own home where they can remain on their routine schedule, eating food they are familiar with, sleeping in their own bed, playing with the own toys and in their own yard or neighborhood.”

“All activities can be centered around the child’s needs and developmental level,” Becky adds. “Siblings can be cared for on their own personal schedule. Light household duties that help families maintain their homes can be included around the children’s schedule.”

HAVE NANNY, WILL TRAVEL — As an inseparable part of her family’s life, Becky has shared the joy of numerous (working) vacations with her charges.

Ultimately, Becky believes she receives a high level of job satisfaction from nannying that she might not obtain in another setting.

“I cherish the moment-to-moment joys that come with working so intimately with a family,” she says. “I like knowing I could take the time to really enjoy, play, and engage with the children rather then feel like I was hurrying them through activities because we have a schedule to keep.”

“I also love feeling appreciated by parents and recognized as part of the ‘team.’ And seeing children through challenging times and knowing that you helped them get to that next step,” she adds.

LIFELONG RELATIONSHIPS — Back in kindergarten, the young man on the right asked: “Why don’t all children have a Becky?” He just graduated with a mathematics degree from  Harvard University!

BECKY KAVANAGH’S NANNYING ADVICE:

1. Speak Up – Parents aren’t mind readers. Nannies tend to be wonderful nurturers and provide loving care of children, but they don’t communicate well. If something is bothering you, then you need to let them know. You can do this in a positive, respectful way by approaching the issue head on. Don’t be accusatory, but rather speak from your own feelings. Mention the wonderful things that are part of your job as well as those that are challenging. Provide options and solutions for consideration.

2. Respect – Nannies want to be respected for the work they do and the service they provide. It’s a very intimate and unique job that many people cannot relate to. Be respectful to the children in your care and the parents – you’ll be rewarded. This includes respecting the family’s privacy and personal lives.

3. Confidentiality – Some nannies get into the habit of sharing personal and private information about their employers with other nannies. This could come back to haunt them down the road. Just don’t go there. This doesn’t mean that you can’t get honest feedback from nanny peers, but I recommend choosing your words carefully and your confidant even more carefully.

4. Don’t Talk Down to Children – Children know when you are really interested in them, really care about them and they respond to you accordingly. They can spot insincerity a mile away. They recognize when an adult is their advocate. You need to be real with children - age appropriate, but real.

(For more profiles on former “Nanny of the Year” recipients, check out the eNannySource interview with San Francisco nanny Marni Kent, the 2002 NOTY honoree and a devoted Mary Poppins fan!)

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Nanny of the Year Series: Marni Kent inspired by Mary Poppins

Wednesday, July 18th, 2012

Former "Nanny of the Year" Marni Kent

INA “Nanny of the Year” Profile

Name: Marni Kent
Location: San Francisco, California
Year Honored: 2002
Experience: 26 years
Past Jobs: Baby nurse, tutor.
Hobbies: Cycling, cooking, kickboxing, keeping up with the nanny industry, donating platelets, taking stand-up comedy classes.
Fun Fact: Collects Mary Poppins memorabilia and designed her own Poppins-themed tattoo.
Nannying In a Nutshell: “As I hold their little hands, I stand tall and proud knowing that my job is both of value and important. At the end of every day, I know I have done my best despite their tantrums, crying, or not feeling well. I would not trade my job for any other profession.”

When you’re a nanny, you never know what surprises each day will bring — like an impromptu biology lesson and stand-up comedy act.

A few years ago, nanny Marni Kent took fourth grader Sammy to the Hobby Lobby to pick up all the raw materials for her class project on the human ear: papier mâché head, Silly Putty for the outer ear, and pipe cleaners for the inner ear.  During the girl’s presentation, she meticulously explained each part of the ear and how it contributes to processing sound and sending signals to the brain. With a deadpan delivery, the student later showed her classmates where the brain was located.  It was represented by a pea — as in “pea brain” — a gag inspired by her brother.

“I was sitting with Sammy’s parents and siblings and the crowd went wild with laughter,” Marni says. “At that moment, I was so proud not only how she used all those big words, but that she had put so much work into this project and was able to entertain and explain this in front of a large crowd.”

It’s natural for nannies to experience parenting-like moments such as these. Although the public often assumes that a nanny is merely a full-time babysitter, the truth is that they are constantly switching roles as trusted guardian, teacher, and friend.

“Some people see the career of a nanny as simply unchallenging, yet where else can one take credit in playing an integral part in the way a young person will become an adult amongst society?” asks Marni, the 2002 recipient of the International Nanny Association‘s “Nanny of the Year” award. “We get to mold the content of a child’s character face to face and see the results first hand.”

“I’ve learned that you can’t learn how to be a professional nanny from a book,” she adds. “Each family has a specific blueprint of needs and expectations. The nanny has to be able to morph into those needs, be flexible and accept different parenting styles, temperament and personalities. Child development is about playing and modeling, exploring the world around them. And a little praise means a lot to a child — it helps with building their independence and self worth.”

Current employers Kim and Chris (with Baby Gabi) are thrilled with Marni's approach to nannying.

Marni’s childcare philosophy and openness to adapt to each family’s unique situation has paid off with intangible dividends.

Last year, she was hired by two Stanford University professors for a brief stint as an overnight nanny. The mother, feeling overcommitted at work, felt conflicted about sleeping through her newborn’s cries. But she also knew she needed to be fully awake during the day.

“Marni changed our lives by supporting and nurturing our whole family unit at a very trying time,” the professor recalls. “She has a deep humane interest in people, young or old, novice or experienced, and helping them to craft their best lives.  She is imaginative, inquisitive, professional, and dynamic in everything she does. I felt immediately at ease with her.”

Those sentiments are echoed by her current employers, Kim and Chris, another two-career family in the San Francisco area who are new to juggling the demands of parenthood.

“Having the right nanny means that our baby is happy, healthy and thriving,” Kim says. “Because of the great support Marni provides, we are able to spend more high quality time focused on our baby and enjoying our time as a family.”

“Marni is wonderful with our daughter – she is upbeat, engaging, affectionate and focused on helping the baby develop and thrive. She takes the time to observe and ask about our preferences and she honors those preferences. She has established a strong connection with our daughter and at the same time, has completely reinforced and supported our primary roles as the baby’s parents,” she adds.

According to Marni, "Parents come from a heart-centered place, and nannies use their heart with logic. When the two combine, it makes for a great relationship and excellent child development."

Marni likes to occasionally dress in a Mary Poppins costume, but it’s not just to entertain children. It’s also to amuse herself. She’s been collecting Mary Poppins memorabilia for the past 20 years. Her collection includes books, movies, Broadway tickets/programs, figurines, mugs, pens, pins, a carpetbag necklace, an umbrella and even a Mary Poppins-themed tattoo that she designed herself.

“There is even a new super nanny on ‘Sesame Street’ who resembles and acts like Mary Poppins. She’s named Penny Pipkins! ‘She is faster than a speeding Mommy, nicer than friendly doggy…’ Her unrelenting niceness is her chief power, she has super hearing, and carries a carpetbag and a powerful feather duster — used for tickling.”

[/caption]Marni is also striving for “unrelenting niceness.”

“Children have such a profound effect on you whether you realize it or not,” she says. “When you get down on their level, you are forced to think and learn about patience. Your tone of voice can affect a child so greatly, and most importantly, children teach you how to be happier, and more positive about yourself when you are the one who is supposed to be teaching them.”

Marni’s Nannying Advice

1. Every nanny should think of herself as a “wife to the wife.” The parent-nanny relationship is about discipline, development, and rearing that will allow for long lasting relationships.

2. Growing with a family requires great commitment, dedication, and desire — even when things get rough.

3. Nanny resources and support are key for self care, personal growth and creating new opportunities to advance further in this career.

**

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What can we learn from Award Winning Nannies?

Friday, July 13th, 2012

Marcia Hall, the International Nanny Association's 2011 "Nanny of the Year," applies her wealth of nannying experience to raising her own two daughters.

Doctors have the American Medical Association (AMA). Media personalities have the Society for Professional Journalists (SPJ). Engineers have the American Society of Civil Engineers (ASCE).  It’s not just alphabet soup. Belonging to a career trade association is perhaps the best way to keep abreast of the latest developments in your profession, and nannying is no exception.

Since 1985, the International Nanny Association (INA) has vigilantly strived to set professional standards for the in-home childcare industry, covering nannies, nanny employers, nanny agencies and educators. The INA’s Annual Conference is the benchmark for training and professional development.

Thanks to the INA, nannies now have their own Oscar, or Grammy or Emmy (pick your favorite gleaming trophy).  The Nanny of the Year (NOTY) Award represents the pinnacle of career achievement. Nominated by their employers, peers or placement agency, and chosen from the field by special committee, the Nanny of the Year award recipient ultimately becomes a role model and public goodwill ambassador for the profession.

At eNannySource.com, we’re always eager to hear about the life experiences of professional nannies — women with whom you can identify with or would be proud to employ in your home (please share your stories here). No matter how many years a nanny has been in the field, she can always increase her knowledge base as she learns from the successes and mistakes of others.

With that goal in mind, over the next few months we’ll be occasionally profiling some of INA’s past “Nanny of the Year” recipients and asking them to share some personal and professional wisdom.
“Child care or child development books are great as general theory,” says INA Co-President Becky Kavanagh, who received the NOTY award in 2006. “But each child is an individual who fits into a mold of their own making. They will be the one who teaches you about them!”

“Children are the most amazing people. If we could all retain the same imagination, open thinking, curiosity, and zest for living that children have, I think the world would be a lot better,” she adds.

Nannies become an inseparable part of family memories, as Becky Kavanagh (at far right), the 2006 "Nanny of the Year," can attest with this Disney cruise.

Becky notes that nannying can sometimes feel like an isolating job — as you don’t have the constant feedback or office banter from co-workers — but suggests that keeping in touch with other nannies can offset this dynamic.

“Burnout certainly can happen,” she acknowledges. “Nannies who feel they are stuck in a rut or aren’t appreciated by their employers can begin to question their effectiveness or even desire to continue as a nanny. I believe having a network to call upon is a great help. Participating — not just belonging –  to professional organizations that provide networking as well as continuing education is a huge plus.”

Stay tuned to this space as some recent Nanny of the Year award recipients kindly share their candid advice about the profession. Coming Soon: A profile on Marni Kent, the 2002 Nanny of the Year.

Here’s a sneak peek at some of Marni’s advice:

1. Have confidence in yourself.
2. Leave your problems at the door.
3. Form good work habits.
4. Keep yourself happy.
5. Embrace the place where you are.
6. Develop your own life.
7. Deal with a problem’s root issues. Avoid planning for defeat.
8. Develop a habit of smiling on purpose.

 

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