{"id":1621,"date":"2014-06-04T05:00:58","date_gmt":"2014-06-04T12:00:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.enannysource.com\/blog\/?p=1621"},"modified":"2014-06-03T15:58:15","modified_gmt":"2014-06-03T22:58:15","slug":"teasing-showing-your-child-how-words-hurt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.enannysource.com\/blog\/index.php\/2014\/06\/04\/teasing-showing-your-child-how-words-hurt\/","title":{"rendered":"Teasing: Showing Your Child How Words Hurt"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"teasing\"<\/a>Teasing is often a natural part of life, and can be harmless when done in good fun. But when someone\u2019s feelings get hurt, it\u2019s not natural or fun for anyone involved. Teasing can also quickly turn into bullying, and whether your child is the one teasing or the one being teased, it\u2019s important to educate your child about how playful banter can wreak havoc on a person\u2019s emotional well-being.<\/p>\n

Discuss Feelings<\/b><\/p>\n

If your child is being bullied or teased, the first thing parents or nannies should do is discuss the natural process of feelings. \u201cTeach children about shame or embarrassment when teased or bullied,\u201d says Renee Fredrickson<\/a>, Minnesota-based psychologist in private practice. \u201cMost children feel ashamed of whatever they are teased about, unless the teasing is entirely playful, and more sensitive children feel ashamed even then.\u201d<\/p>\n

When you feel ashamed, you feel worthless or worth less than others, says Fredrickson. \u201cThis feeling makes you believe that you are different or not as cool as other kids,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

The effects of teasing can cause children to become silent. It can also stop them from telling parents, teachers or even friends about what is happening, says Fredrickson. \u201cEvery child is vulnerable to shame and it is the nature of children to hide as a defense,\u201d she says. \u201cMagical thinking cause children to feel that if they tell you, even you will find them wanting.\u201d<\/p>\n

One of the most effective ways to discuss teasing and bullying with your child is to discuss the feelings that accompany the actions. \u201cI teach children (and adults) that shame or embarrassment is always a lie,\u201d says Fredrickson. \u201cEveryone makes mistakes, has accidents and has things that are different from others. So you made a mistake or have big ears or are smaller or bigger? You will feel ashamed, but that feeling is a lie.\u201d<\/p>\n

Talk to your child about pushing through that feeling or ignoring it so they can tell you what happened.<\/p>\n

Watch for the Signs<\/b><\/p>\n

As a parent or nanny, you can help your child cope with teasing or bullying by watching for signs that one of these things has occurred. According to Fredrickson, classic signs include general unhappiness, anger, destructive behavior, isolation and not wanting to go back to school, daycare or even a social group.<\/p>\n

If you suspect your child is being teased or bullied, Fredrickson recommends keeping your questions gentle. \u201cDo not press the issue if you sense your child is being evasive,\u201d she says. \u201cJust ask them to think about it and that you may ask them about it another time. Remind them that you can help.<\/p>\n

What To Do If Your Child is The Bully<\/b><\/p>\n

If a child is a bully, it is likely they have been bullied, says Fredrickson. It can happen anywhere \u2013 at school, at home with siblings or on a play date. \u201cHonestly face the idea that you, your spouse or a sibling may be bullying your child,\u201d she says. \u201cFor example, several adults and children revealed that their father or an older sibling would \u2018wrestle\u2019 with them. The father always won, of course, and would not stop until the child cried.\u201d<\/p>\n

Even though these interactions may begin innocently, Fredrickson warns that if you are stronger, you must be gentler. \u201cAny use of greater force to hurt a more vulnerable person should not be allowed in your home,\u201d she says. Insist on a violence-free home and do not excuse any hurtful behavior because one person started it.<\/p>\n

And while it\u2019s common to fall back on the rule \u201cuse your words,\u201d it\u2019s also important to stress that this should not include mean or cruel words.<\/p>\n

In addition, it helps to teach children how to be an encourager of others. \u201cThis is best demonstrated through the parents positively encouraging their child,\u201d says Christine Hammond, registered mental health counseling intern with The LifeWorks Group<\/a> in Florida. \u201cTelling the child to encourage others and then not modeling it will not help them to learn how to encourage others.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Teasing is often a natural part of life, and can be harmless when done in good fun. But when someone\u2019s feelings get hurt, it\u2019s not natural or fun for anyone involved. Teasing can also quickly turn into bullying, and whether … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1621","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.enannysource.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1621","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.enannysource.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.enannysource.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.enannysource.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.enannysource.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1621"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.enannysource.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1621\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1623,"href":"http:\/\/www.enannysource.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1621\/revisions\/1623"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.enannysource.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1621"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.enannysource.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1621"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.enannysource.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1621"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}