{"id":298,"date":"2011-11-19T04:30:11","date_gmt":"2011-11-19T12:30:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.enannysource.com\/blog\/?p=298"},"modified":"2011-11-19T04:30:11","modified_gmt":"2011-11-19T12:30:11","slug":"10-ways-to-explain-a-pet-dying-to-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.enannysource.com\/blog\/index.php\/2011\/11\/19\/10-ways-to-explain-a-pet-dying-to-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"10 Ways to Explain a Pet Dying to Kids"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>There is no right way to tell a child that their pet has died.\u00a0 Every child is different and will respond differently.\u00a0 The harder thing is when you think they aren\u2019t going to be too upset because they knew it was coming and then they are extremely upset.\u00a0 Make sure that you are loving and nice about it.\u00a0 Don\u2019t make it into a joke.\u00a0 Telling little Johnny that his goldfish just got flushed is not the right way to explain that his pet fish died.\u00a0 The more physical contact the child had to the pet the harder it is to accept their passing.\u00a0 There is no way to completely eliminate tears and there\u2019s no reason to want to, but you want to try to limit the trauma to the child if possible.<\/p>\n

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  1. If you are religious you can start by explaining your thoughts on afterlife.\u00a0 Explain to your child that it was Fido\u2019s time to go be with God.\u00a0 Dogs only live so long depending on the breed and when it\u2019s their time, they go to heaven and wait for us.\u00a0 If you have family that has died you can say that Fido is with Grandma now and some day they will see them again.<\/li>\n
  2. Explain to the child the cycle of life.\u00a0 Rabbits are born, they grow up and when it\u2019s their time they die and we bury them so that they can become one with the earth again.\u00a0 Let the child know that they can visit the place where their pet was buried when they miss them.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  3. Tell your child that Buttons was sick and that she was in a lot of pain.\u00a0 Help them to relate by having them think of a time when they were sick and how bad they felt.\u00a0 Explain that sometimes when a pet gets sick there is nothing we can do to save them and the kindest thing we can do is let them die so that they aren\u2019t suffering anymore.\u00a0 <\/strong><\/li>\n
  4. Break the news to them as gently as you can and then be there to hold them when they cry.\u00a0 Sometimes it\u2019s better not to talk a lot.\u00a0 Let them be sad.\u00a0 Be there to listen if they want to talk about it.\u00a0 There are stages of grief that people go through, denial, bargaining, anger, guilt, depression and acceptance.\u00a0 With a child and a pet they may not go through all of the stages or they may progress through them rapidly.\u00a0 Just be there to answer their questions and concerns.\u00a0 Don\u2019t get mad at them if they show signs of anger or blame you for the death of the pet.\u00a0 You are an adult and you can take it.\u00a0 Don\u2019t try to be stoic either.\u00a0 If you feel like crying over the pet do so.\u00a0 Letting the child see you crying gives them permission to cry too.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  5. Read them a book about loss.\u00a0 There\u2019s a great book called \u201cThrowing Away the Wrapper\u201d by Bob Willis that will explain that only the pet\u2019s physical body has died, but they still have their memories of the pet and they will live in their heart forever.\u00a0 Children won\u2019t understand why they can\u2019t dig up their cat and give it a hug.\u00a0 There is no understanding of decomposition.\u00a0 Sometimes it is easier and wiser to let someone else\u2019s words explain things so reading a book on the subject at their level is a good solution.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  6. Help your child remember the good times.\u00a0 You can talk about all your good memories.\u00a0 You and your child can make a scrapbook using all the pictures you\u2019ve taken of the pet over the years and by writing down these stories and looking at the pictures you can explain that the memories of the pet will always be with the child and that no one can take them away.\u00a0 Whenever they miss their pet they can go look at the scrapbook and always have a physical reminder of their treasured friend.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  7. If your child is very young (2-3) they don\u2019t have the cognitive ability to understand everything pertaining to the death of a pet.\u00a0 It\u2019s best to keep things simple with toddlers and just explain that their pet has died and will not be coming back.\u00a0 Make sure to let the child know that they have done nothing wrong and that it\u2019s not their fault that death is something that we cannot stop.\u00a0 Let it go at that and just be there to answer questions.\u00a0 Experts have seen toddlers stop talking after the death of the family pet, but in time they will start talking again so don\u2019t be alarmed and know that it is normal. <\/strong><\/li>\n
  8. When your child is a little older (4-6) they are better able to understand death, but often think of death as sleeping or something that is not a permanent condition.\u00a0 Avoid telling your child that the pet was \u201cput to sleep\u201d or that \u201cGod has taken them\u201d because this can cause the child to either think that the pet will eventually wake up and come back or develop an anger towards God because he took their beloved pet away.\u00a0 You don\u2019t want to cause either of those things to happen so just be honest without being brutal.\u00a0 This age child could regress is their potty training, but again it\u2019s only temporary so don\u2019t get mad at them.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  9. An older child (7-9) understands more and will not tend to blame themselves, but may want to blame others for their loss.\u00a0 Some children may become obsessed with death and trying to understand it.\u00a0 Another possible outcome is that they will start thinking about death and then worry that everyone they know may die and become very scared.\u00a0 A child like this may become clingy and not want to go to school for fear that when they come home someone will have died.\u00a0 Just be open and honest with these children and make sure the answer their questions.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  10. Adolescents (10+) will respond to death much the way adults do by going through the stages discussed above.\u00a0 Some children may refuse to show any emotion and become withdrawn at the loss of a pet.\u00a0 Don\u2019t push them, but just make sure that you are there as a soft place to fall.\u00a0 When they do grieve don\u2019t belittle them or tell them that it\u2019s no big deal we will just get another one.\u00a0 This was a friend to them and depending on the child it may have been their closest friend.\u00a0 Treat this loss as a big deal and just remember to be honest with them.\u00a0<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

     <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    There is no right way to tell a child that their pet has died.\u00a0 Every child is different and will respond differently.\u00a0 The harder thing is when you think they aren\u2019t going to be too upset because they knew it … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-298","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.enannysource.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/298","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.enannysource.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.enannysource.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.enannysource.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.enannysource.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=298"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.enannysource.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/298\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1528,"href":"https:\/\/www.enannysource.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/298\/revisions\/1528"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.enannysource.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=298"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.enannysource.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=298"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.enannysource.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=298"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}