by Michelle LaRowe
Editor in Chief
The summer months are a time for relaxation and play—as well as an opportunity for exploration and learning in unexpected ways! I recently chatted with Dr. Rebecca Palacios, a teacher from Corpus Christi, Texas who holds a PhD in Curriculum and Instruction, to discuss the importance of summer learning. Dr. Palacios is a National Board Certified Teacher and a Founding Director for the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards (NBPTS), as well as Senior Curriculum Advisor for the award-winning early education site ABCmouse.com.
In our conversation, Dr. Palacios shared a few ways parents can encourage their children to continue learning in the summer while giving them a chance to follow their natural curiosities and interests.
eNannySource: Why is it important to continue learning over the summer months?
Dr. Palacios: Despite the lack of homework assigned, the summer break is full of opportunities for parents and caregivers to set up environments where learning can happen in a natural way. Just keep in mind that you want to always encourage the child’s curiosity and keep their minds active.
eNannySource: At what age should a focus on summer learning be a priority for children?
Dr. Palacios: Summer learning benefits students of all ages, and is especially important for early learners when development is most critical. Children start learning from the moment they are born—everything they see, hear and touch is actually a learning experience. These experiences form the foundation for all kinds of learning. Think of each experience as a lesson, an opportunity to ask a question, sharpen a skill, or learn something new. And with young children, it is especially important that they experience learning as something they like doing, so if parents want to teach their children academic skills, then it should be done in a way that the child really enjoys.
eNannySource: What are some practical ways parents can keep their kids engaged in learning during the summer?
Dr. Palacios: Environment is tremendously important, as young children learn primarily by looking, listening and exploring in their environments. A lot of that learning will occur naturally, but parents can also help it along. Teachable moments come from the child’s own observations or from things they’re interested in because they’re so excited and curious to learn more. And there are so many of these that can be found during the regular day—the sun setting after dinner rather than before, a cat shedding or changes in weather. Point out these occurrences and ask your child questions about them.
I have a grandson who loves to count fire hydrants. So while we’re walking and counting, I ask him if he knows what a fire hydrant does, why they’re there or why a firefighter needs them. Teachable moments can be just a few minutes or even a few seconds. The trick is to be aware that the things that we see and do as we go through our days may seem mundane to us, but to our children they are wonders.
eNannySource: How can parents make learning fun?
Dr. Palacios: There are a lot of ways to make learning fun; I like to encourage parents to take an approach that is called integrated learning. Integrated learning occurs when parents encourage learning in a number of subject areas while focusing on one topic. For example, you can create an exploration area in your kitchen where you and your child can look at dry seeds. Young children can learn that plants come from seeds, that seeds come in various sizes, shapes and colors, and that plants need water, soil, air and light to live. Have your child describe and/or label the seeds (develops language and writing skills), sort them by color and size (develops math skills), and talk to them about the plant life cycle (develops basic science skills).
eNannySource: When it comes to summer learning: old school or new school?
Dr. Palacios: I think technology can offer unique learning opportunities to young children that may not be easily reproduced in the real world. When we are using technology for education, we need to keep in mind that children feel empowered when they have an active role in their learning rather than being passive recipients of information.
Parents can ask teachers or do research on how technology can be used at home over the summer to support what the child has learned during the school year. Parents can also talk about what they see when the child uses technology to learn, such as what seems to engage the child and what the child is learning. This way, technology can be both a conversation piece and a tool for communication. It’s a great opportunity for parents and teachers to learn and work together.
That said, technology is by no means the only way children should learn—I recommend a visit to the library once a week, where the child can easily see and select books that look interesting. It’s always a good idea, too, to provide children with different tools and materials that they can use to make pictures and structures.
But whether the learning experience occurs with a computer, a tablet, a book, a set of paints or moldable clay, what’s most important is that the parent or caregiver participates and talks with the child about what he or she is learning. It’s those conversations that really help to turn experiences into knowledge.
eNannySource: Tell us how ABCmouse.com can support parents in helping to support learning during the summer months.
Dr. Palacios: ABCmouse.com is an award-winning learning site filled with activities geared towards young children, and is a great way to keep kids learning over the summer months. ABCmouse.com has more than 3,000 activities spanning reading, math, beginning science, social studies, even art and music. The curriculum has been developed with leading early education experts and advisors (such as myself), so even though your kids are out of school, they will still have access to activities and lessons that have been created by educators. Plus, ABCmouse.com is a lot of fun—your children probably won’t even notice that they are learning!
Another great thing about the site is that, unlike most other children’s websites, ABCmouse.com has no advertising, pop-up ads or links to outside websites. Children can learn and explore freely, though I always encourage parent engagement when young children are using technology. Instead of walking away when the child seems to be engaged with a computer or mobile device, parents can use that as an opportunity for increased interaction and communication.
This video provides a short introduction to the ABCmouse.com curriculum. For more information, visit www.ABCmouse.com or www.facebook.com/ABCmouse
Dr. Rebecca Palacios, a Founding Director of the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards (NBPTS), holds a PhD in Curriculum and Instruction as well as National Board Certification as an Early Childhood Generalist. She has more than 25 years of experience in the field of early childhood education. As a Senior Curriculum Advisor for ABCmouse.com, an award-winning comprehensive and interactive website for early learners, Dr. Palacios helps ensure that all site content and activities are age appropriate while reflecting best practices in early childhood education.
Michelle’s Review of ABCmouse.com:
When it comes to screen time in our home, it is very limited. We carefully choose what our children watch, what iPad apps they can use and what websites they can visit – and we always make sure to share the experience with them, not simply set them up and walk away.
For the past several weeks I’ve had the chance to explore ABCmouse.com with my four year old daughter and quite frankly, I’m not sure who likes it more!
There’s just so much to do and it feels like we’ve only scratched the surface. From watching new favorite books come to life before our eyes, to coloring images on the screen, to playing math and reading games, the content is age-appropriate, engaging and fun. We’ve learned about animals, practiced patterns and even relearned the forgotten words to some of my favorite childhood rhymes.
My daughter loves earning “tickets” and I love that it is an advertisement free zone. We’ve been using ABCmouse.com as our quiet time activity while my younger son naps and look forward to what we’re going to discover each day. We haven’t been disappointed yet!
A complimentary ABCMouse.com media access code was provided at no cost to me for review consideration.
Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a commentby Michelle LaRowe
Editor in Chief
Getting kids of a similar age together for play dates is a time honored method of introducing new social aspects to learning through play and allows parents some much-needed adult time. Sometimes, though, the best intentions run afoul of real life and make play dates a messy situation. When your child simply doesn’t like playing with a particular peer or you have trouble dealing with her parents, the idea of continuing play dates can be completely off-putting. Still, the idea of hurting someone’s feelings or causing trouble with another family by declining play dates is even worse. There are ways to politely decline a play date invitation without permanently burning bridges, though.
Offer a Reasonable Excuse
There’s a lot to be said for letting someone down easy, especially when kids are involved. Rather than giving vague reasons why a play date isn’t in the cards, try thanking the inviting parent and providing a reasonable excuse like, “Thank you for inviting us, but we’re busy that evening and can’t attend. We look forward to seeing you at the next dance class, though!” Make no reference to a rain check, and don’t leave the conversation with, “maybe another time.”
Offer to Host
If your misgivings about a play date spring from a fundamental distrust of the other parent or disagreement over parenting styles and possible influences over your own child, but the two kids truly get along, it may be better to return the invitation with one of your own. Putting the play date on your home turf will make it more comfortable for you and won’t force your child to miss out on time with a friend she genuinely enjoys being around.
Be Honest
If your child doesn’t want to play with her classmate because of a previous play date that went badly, the best and most effective solution may be to explain that to the inviting parent. Try injecting a bit of humor, emphasizing the mercurial nature of kid friendships and laughing the situation off rather than giving a laundry list of reasons why your child isn’t interested. If you’re close enough friends with that parent to honestly discuss the problem, it may even be beneficial to both children if you can address any issues at hand. Finding out why the two kids are fighting or what happened to make things awkward can be a complicated and delicate situation, but it may also pay off in the long run.
Plead Family Time
If you’re looking to minimize your child’s overcrowded schedule and there’s no personal motivation behind declining a play date, it’s perfectly acceptable to say so. Phrases like, “thank you, but her schedule has just gotten ridiculous and we’re trying to cut down on play dates for a while” go a long way, and are easy for other parents to understand in a hectic, fast-paced world. Let the inviting parent know that you’re flattered by the invitation and would love for the kids to get together, but that you’re just not spending enough time together as a family and are actively making an effort to remedy the issue. Most parents will respect a need for family time, especially if they’re feeling the same pressure.
Assert Your Child’s Independence
If your child is in elementary school, she’s old enough to choose her own friends and can’t easily be forced into pre-arranged play dates. Letting the inviting parent know that you’re allowing your child the independence to choose her own play dates and explore her own interests is perfectly acceptable. After all, you can’t force social interactions upon older children simply because two kids are in the same class or you’re acquainted with the other parent.
While tactfully declining a play date invitation can be a slippery slope, it’s important that you never tell outright lies that you’ll later be caught in. It’s far more insulting to find out that a parent has been downright dishonest than to hear something akin to the truth. Making up stories that are easily seen through makes you look dishonest and careless, so it’s best to stick as close to the truth as possible without being confrontational or needlessly hurtful.
Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a commentby Michelle LaRowe
Editor in Chief
With summer break upon us, it’s time to start planning some activities to keep the kids occupied. The last thing you want to hear is a recurring, “I’m bored!” all summer long. No matter how old your kids are, you should be able to find games, crafts, outings and camps that they can do to stay busy. Even if your budget is tight, there are ideas for low cost things to do this summer. These 30 blog posts are full of activities you can do with your kids this summer, so start compiling your favorites and then put together a bucket list of activities to do over the summer.
Games
Rain or shine, there are many activities you can do with your kids this summer that will keep them active and engaged instead of bored and listless. The key to keeping the kids busy is planning. As much as kids may say they want a break from the rigid structure of their school days, the truth is that most kids do better when they have some sort of daily routine. Read the following six blog posts for some ideas for different games the kids can play.
Crafts
At least once a week during the summer you should get your kids to make something and be creative. Bring out the craft supplies and print off some ideas for various projects the kids can do. These projects don’t have to cost a lot, and some may use items you already own. Take a look at these six blog entries to get some craft ideas for the kids.
Outings
Summer is a great time to get outdoors or visit new places together. Take this opportunity with the kids to explore areas you haven’t been to before. Go to the zoo and have a picnic lunch, or to the water park to cool off and burn some energy. Take a look at these six blog posts for more ideas on summer activities.
Camps
Whether you are looking for day camps or overnight camps, it’s important to find a camp that caters to your child’s interests and that he’s excited about attending. For inexpensive day camps, check out vacation bible camps at local churches or the YMCA. For camps offered in the area, you can check with your school. Peruse through the next six blog articles for more tips about different camps.
Budget Friendly Options
Many communities offer low-cost or free activities for kids and their families to attend during the summer. It’s also a great time to go to the neighborhood pool or splash pad, or visit a nearby park. If you live near a city, many museums will have free admission days where you can get out of the heat and enjoy looking around. For more inspiration, check out these six blog posts.
by Michelle LaRowe
Editor in Chief
When it comes to kids, it takes more than video games and candy to keep them truly happy. No one knows that more than Dr. Sharin Sherkat, parent strategist and author of Create Happy Kids. Recently I had a chance to connect with Dr. Sherkat and learn what she thinks defines a happy kid and how she empowers parents to create one.
eNannySource: How do you define a happy kid?
Dr. Sherkat: Happy kids can take many forms. In my book, I describe “happy kids” as ones who can be defined by 12 important factors. Happy kids are those who:
eNannySource: Why are power struggles so common?
Dr. Sherkat: Because in one corner, we have parents who want the BEST for their kids; they have the know-how and the benefits of age and experience. And in the other corner, we have the kids with will power! The kids are developing their personalities, their own opinions; they are exercising the right to push limits and test boundaries, which by the way is super healthy for their development. Parents, on the other hand, are setting firm limits, as they should! This is why we have power struggles. Having these power struggles is normal and, to some level, even necessary for healthy growth.
However, “too many power struggles” is usually defined this way: When a parent feels that most requests placed on the child are faced with arguments and defiance, then we are talking about an ‘unhealthy’ level of power struggles.
Power struggles are more common than they should be, because parents forget to use the tools they have to empower and motivate kids to make better choices. That happens mainly because kids are so good at wearing parents down and exhausting them to a point where parents forget the tools they have to help the kids be more motivated to take care of their own responsibilities, and that’s where I usually come in! I give parents the tool, or remind them of the ones they have, that they can use to empower their kids to make better choices and to not argue so much!
eNannySource: How can parents stop them?
Dr. Sherkat: Here are 5 key steps to stopping power struggles:
1) First, Remind the kids of their Rights vs. Privileges
2) Assure kids: “I will always protect your rights”
3) Help kids understand how to EARN their privileges
4) Be concise, clear & concrete about what you expect from kids
5) Make sure privileges are only EARNED.
For example if your 7-year-old son, Alex, has to complete his homework before earning the privilege of going over to his friend’s house, then that should be clearly spelled out and Alex should earn that privilege only after completing his homework. I often suggest to parents to provide a supportive and positive statement like: “Alex I want you to earn the privilege of going to your friend’s.”
eNannySource: How can parents motivate their children to make good choices?
Dr. Sherkat: GREAT question….Once the above steps are accomplished, there is one tool that I often share with families: the Magical Sentence, as I call it, is very motivating!
“FIRST ______________, THEN ___________”
This sentence MUST be used correctly. Any other version of it is not effective. For example, used correctly: “Alex, FIRST complete your math homework, THEN you can go to your friend’s house.” Please note, the first part of this sentence, which contains Alex’s responsibility, is short and clear–you want to use under seven words! Also, note the sentence is positive. Here is an example of an incorrect version:
“IF you don’t finish your homework, you won’t get to go play with your friend.”
eNannySource: What’s the most common mistake parents make?
Dr. Sherkat: Not listening to their kids’ point of view. Not really hearing the child. Parents are often in too much of a hurry to let their kids finish a thought or expression of a feeling. So they miss out on their kids’ point of view. What is the second most common mistake? Not validating their kids’ feelings. If you say to your four-year-old, “I hear you are feeling angry at me for not letting you play right now” it doesn’t mean you agree with your kid, it just means you validated a feeling. Parents who experience power struggles often forget the power of validation and, unfortunately, forget to use this highly effective tool for healthy communication. This is sometimes because parents may feel that by validating their kid’s feeling during an argument it may mean that they agree with their child.
eNannySource: What’s your best advice for today’s parents?
Dr. Sherkat: You want to create a good listener in your kid? Model it.
eNannySource: Is there anything else you would like to share?
Dr. Sherkat: When spending time with kids, be present. Take a moment to see the kids’ world from their point of view. It’s beautiful!
Sharin Sherkat, Psy.D. is on a mission to honor children and empower parents around the world with proven, road-tested and simple parenting strategies that reduce struggles and add more joy for every member of the family. The author of Create Happy Kids, Dr. Sherkat is known as “the child whisperer” by many happy families who value her gift to see each child’s perspective as they use her methods to bring harmony to their formerly conflicted families.
She teaches parenting workshops and shares keynote presentations to parenting groups that put preventive strategies center stage. Dr. Sherkat grew up in Vancouver, Canada, earned a Bachelor of Science degree in psychology from the University of Washington and later earned a Doctorate in clinical psychology at the California School of Professional Psychology in San Diego. She resides in Kirkland, Washington.
To learn more about Dr. Sherkat, visit www.CreateHappyKids.com.
Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a commentby Michelle LaRowe
Editor in Chief
With over half of all marriages ending in divorce and half of all children under the age of 13 living with one biological parent and that parent’s partner, according to Stepfamily.org, step families are becoming more prevalent and more common. What makes them the same and what makes them different than first or original families? Recently I had a chance to circle around with Peggy Nolan of The Stepmom’s Toolbox to learn about the unique role stepmoms play in today’s families. Here’s a bit of what she had to say.
eNannySource: What are the three most common myths surrounding the role of a stepmom?
Peggy: The most common mythos surrounding the stepmom role is The Wicked Evil Stepmother, perpetuated in folklore and brought forward into our modern day storytelling by none other than Walt Disney. Stories like Cinderella, Snow White and Hansel and Gretel paint stepmoms as spiteful, greedy, jealous and vain women. Many women in the stepmom role spend a lot of energy dispelling this myth to those in their circle of influence. Another myth is that stepmoms are home wreckers. Modern stories like Stepmom (starring Julia Roberts) and The Other Woman (based on the book Love and Other Impossible Pursuits, starring Natalie Portman) depict the stepmom as a home wrecker. Most stepmoms are kind, loving and caring women who simply find themselves in no man’s land when it comes to being a stepmom. Most stepmoms are not notorious home wreckers. In fact, most women enter into a relationship with a man with kids after he’s divorced. Another common myth is that stepfamilies are just like first families. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Unfortunately, a 1970’s sitcom portrayed a stepfamily as a happy bunch who immediately clicked, rarely argued and all problems were solved in 30 minutes or less. Many new stepfamilies are under the illusion that their family will integrate as soon as the “I do’s” are said. This illusion is in direct conflict with reality. It takes time for stepfamilies to integrate. It also takes the Three P’s – Patience, Persistence and Perspiration.
eNannySource: How do you define the role of a stepmom?
Peggy: I define the role of stepmom as any woman who is in a long-term relationship with a man who has kids from a previous relationship. Women in the role of stepmom are not their stepkids’ mom. A stepmom may do mom things, but this does not make her the mom. Stepmoms are another adult who cares for and loves their partner’s children.
eNannySource: How can step families work to coordinate childcare so it’s seamless?
Peggy: This seems to be one of the trickiest parts of step family dynamics. Even with the best co-parenting, glitches happen. Someone is late for pick up or drop off. Someone forgets it’s his or her weekend to take the kids. In high conflict situations, these glitches can escalate rapidly. If the parents have a difficult time communicating, many times the stepmom will step in and attempt to be the peacemaker and “fix” the problem. This can be risky, as now the stepmom has put herself in the direct line of fire from three different sides – her husband, his ex and the kids. In lieu of good communication between the co-parents, there are tools that stepfamilies can use to coordinate childcare, such as Our Family Wizard or other online calendaring tools.
eNannySource: How long does it take a step family to function as a cohesive family unit?
Peggy: On average it takes seven years for a step family to integrate. Some may integrate sooner, some later, and some may never integrate. One of the biggest mistakes step families make is to make their stepfamily become a first family. Stepfamilies are not first families in any way, shape or form. Every attempt to make them so is like trying to hammer a square peg into a round hole. It’s important for stepfamilies to practice becoming a stepfamily: Practice communication, practice relationship investment, practice building trust, practice getting to know each other, and for the couple – practice date night, practice united parenting, practice making your relationship a priority. It takes 10,000 hours of practice to become an expert in anything. And if the average stepfamily integration takes seven years – that’s four hours of stepfamily practice every day for seven years. I did the math. It equals 10,200 hours.
eNannySource: What’s your best advice for new stepmoms?
Peggy: My best advice comes from my wonderful husband. It worked for me and it works for everyone I pass it on to. When I suddenly found myself as a custodial stepmom to my husband’s youngest son, I asked my husband how he wanted me to play the stepmom gig. “Be your wonderful self,” he told me. “You can’t go wrong with that!”
This advice works because it’s simply too exhausting to be anyone else. As the stepmom, you are not the mom. Don’t try to be her. Don’t try to outdo her or be better than her. It’s not a competition, so don’t make it one. Don’t compare yourself to the ex-wife. That will only serve to create jealousy and self-doubt. Just be the wonderful you that you are. Trust me, you’ll do more for your marriage and relationship with your stepkids when you live from your true center.
In the fabulous words of Oscar Wilde, “Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.”
eNannySource: What’s the most common mistakes new stepmoms make? What’s your best advice to combat it?
Peggy: I believe one of the most common mistakes new stepmoms make is trying to create a first family experience in a stepfamily. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. If you keep hammering a square peg into a round hole you’ll remain frustrated. You can try to shave off the ends, but that won’t work for long. Successful stepmoms know that this is a marathon and not a sprint. It takes time to merge households. It takes time to integrate kids from different relationships. It takes time to get on the same page with your partner about parenting, finances, household responsibilities and shared goals.
eNannySource: Anything else you’d like to share?
Peggy: The best thing women in the stepmom role can do for themselves is practice self-care. Too many women run themselves into the ground by trying to be everything to everyone. Give yourself permission to take care of yourself. Get plenty of rest. Eat right. Spend time in silence through mediation or prayer every day. Get at least 30 minutes of physical exercise a day. Pursue a hobby or dream that brings you joy. Focus on your relationship with yourself first. Why? Because we teach others how to treat us by how we treat ourselves. If you want to feel loved and appreciated by your man and those you love, you must love and appreciate yourself. Self-care is as necessary as oxygen!
Peggy Nolan is a leading authority on self-care and personal development for women in the stepmom role. She has been referred to as the “Self-Care Queen” by her peers and clients because of her strategies to reduce and manage stress work. Peggy has been part of a stepfamily for over 40 years. She knows what it’s like to be a step-daughter, a step-sister and a stepmom. Peggy is the mom of two adult children, the bonus mom of four adult children and the grandmother of two. Peggy’s articles have been featured in The Huffington Post, Divine Caroline, The Diva Toolbox, Applaud Women, Aspire and StepMom Magazine. Peggy has also interviewed numerous leading experts in stepfamilies on her highly acclaimed internet radio show, The Stepmom’s Toolbox Radio Show. You can connect with Peggy at http://thestepmomstoolbox.com, http://21dayaffirmationchallenge.com and http://self-care101.com.
Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Commentby Michelle LaRowe
Editor in Chief
Recently I had a chance to catch up with Cindy Wilkinson, friend, musician and fellow INA Nanny of the Year award recipient, about her latest adventures and her next CD, Jumpin’ Into Dreamland. Here’s some of Cindy’s expert advice for incorporating music and the arts into the everyday lives of children.
eNannySource: Why are the arts important for children?
Cindy: I once heard a teacher say that we need to offer art and music in the schools as an outlet for “artsy children,” that they will be the ones who benefit the most. In my opinion, all children will be influenced greatly by exposure to the arts, whether it is theater, music, visual art or dance. Studies have shown that key components in fields such as engineering and business include the abilities to think outside the box and work collaboratively. Think about it… when I was a child, many televisions were still in black and white, computers were just entering our culture and landline phones were our only means of communication. It took those who are true visionaries to come up with these new and unimaginable ideas, then develop them into the advanced technology we find in our culture today. Exposing today’s young children to the arts will help us in developing our creative thinkers for tomorrow!
eNannySouce: How can a parent incorporate art and music into their child’s day?
Cindy: It is easy to go to Google and find an array of interesting art projects for children. Introducing your child to painting, cutting, pasting and working with an array of other mediums will open the door to that child’s creative expression! Once a child masters the basics of scribbling with a crayon or dabbling with a paintbrush, that child can begin to explore creatively each day. Encourage the use of a wide variety of mediums, such as chalk, tempera paint and watercolors, pompoms, googly eyes, cotton balls, foam sponges, popsicle sticks, string and, one my favorites, tin foil.
While children can learn from following directions in a parent directed art activity, also allow for the child to think outside the box. Present your child with different items and see what he or she can create. For example, what happens if you have tin foil, pompoms and tempera paint? The child could use the pompoms as a way of painting on the foil, or perhaps paint the pompoms and then glue them onto the foil, or even roll up the foil to create an alien! The possibilities are endless… you get the idea. Make each art project with your child a new and great adventure!!
Incorporating music into your child’s day can be an exciting way to enhance literacy development. Learning a new song or finger play is much the same as hearing a favorite story. Children will love singing a song or acting out the story, as in a finger play, again and again. Repetition is a key component for activities with young children. Just like a favorite book, the child will want to hear it frequently. And if you’re not a great singer, don’t be afraid to just chant the words with your child. It isn’t the melody the child is focused on, it is more the interesting story being told. Be sure to introduce your child to a variety of songs, both new and old. While there are wonderful recording artists with a repertoire geared to kids, also include traditional songs too.
eNannySouce: Are lessons or classes important? At what age?
Cindy: A child’s early introduction to music and art can play an important part in their development. While many aspects of an art or music class can be done at home, there are also some great benefits to participating in a formal class. As a long-time arts educator, I often take classes myself from others working in the arts. Every class I take, I walk away with something new, which I can then use in the work that I do. I see this as the same rationale that a parent and child can gain from such an experience. There are so many educators with a wealth of experience in what impacts children the most. Taking a class with such an educator can allow both the parent and child to learn activities, which can then make their way back to the child’s home and become a part of that child’s daily life!
There are wonderful classes for infants, toddlers and preschoolers. I don’t feel there is any best age, it is mostly important that the class is geared to the age group of your child. If the class is age-appropriate, a child of any age can benefit.
eNannySource: What should parents look for in ECE art and music programs?
Cindy: Again, the age appropriateness of the class is very important. For example, when I am teaching a music class for toddlers, we focus more on exploration of sound, while older children would focus more on music fundamentals. I have created a collection of shaker bottles – empty water and soda bottles filled with rice, confetti, beans, etc. My toddlers love to watch the colorful items inside the bottles, banging them in different ways; they’re very interested in how they are creating sound. Older children use them for creating rhythmic patterns or playing along with other percussion instruments.
Making sure that your child is actively engaged is also a key factor in finding a great arts education program. Whether it is a music or art class, if your child is spending much of his or her time waiting, rather than working on an activity, this would be a red flag. A great teacher will have enough paint brushes, glue bottles, tambourines or rhythm sticks for the children in her class, allowing each child to remain enthused about the amazing works of art they are creating in their class! A wonderful teacher can both inspire and empower children, encouraging the budding artist inside each child!
Cindy Wilkinson is a graduate of the University of Nebraska – Kearney with a degree in Early Childhood Education. She has worked extensively with children since 1977 as a pre-school teacher, music teacher, nanny and children’s performer. In 1998, Cindy was named the International Nanny Association Nanny of the Year. To learn more about Cindy and her music visit http://www.jumpinwithcindy.com.
Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a commentby Michelle LaRowe
Editor in Chief
Recently I had a chance to connect with Wendy Wolff, a writer, thinker and mother who is passionate about making life easier. We talked about time management and ways parents can make life just a little easier. Here’s some of her thoughts and tips for putting more easy in your day.
eNannySource: What do you think parents waste the most time on?
Wendy: I’m not so sure that parents waste their time, it’s that time is fleeting. Everything moves so much faster and technology forces us to have an immediate response to a call to action. If both parents are working and don’t have flexible schedules, then the majority and priority of their time is spent focusing on work. Children are often left to their own devices – and I mean that literally.
eNannySource: What are some practical tips parents can do to make life easier each day?
Wendy: Time management is key. I try to spend Sunday’s cooking for the week so that we all have a healthy meal when the day is over. If we can sit down at the table at least three days a week as a family and eat dinner together, I’m thrilled. Make lunches for the kids the night before, or give another child that job.
Always say, “I need a minute to think” before responding to a request. 60 seconds is not a lot of time to take when making a decision—and that time will help SO MUCH.
Parents should remember to take a moment and be still. That means no phones, no texts, no TV, no music, no talking….just quiet so that the brain can relax. This only needs to happen for five minutes per day. Just five mere minutes. Teach your children to do it as well. Have a family quiet session in which everyone is still and closes their eyes and breathes.
Talk to your teenager. Go into their room, find a comfy spot and listen to what is on their mind.
Drink water, take vitamins and SLEEP!
eNannySource: Does technology really make life easier?
Wendy: Yes and no. The smartphone gives you immediate access to all kinds of information, which can sometimes make our lives easier, however technology requires you to respond in a knee-jerk way to any request that comes at you and this creates CHAOS.
eNannySource: What about relationships with teens? Any tips for treading through the teen years easier?
Wendy: Spend lots of time with your teen. Most people pull away, thinking that their child is mature enough to relax the reins. I disagree. I spend incredible amounts of time with my teen boys doing the things they want. I listen to silly soccer statistics, bad music, silly trends and anything they want to share all day long. Sometimes I need a minute—and that is good too. We take the teens to see live music, outdoor nature experiences, dog parks, museums and anything we can think of. We make sure they have time with their friends too, but communication and experiences with us are top priority.
When my 9th grader was in 7th grade I sat him down and told him that if he plans on ever leaving the house, he will have to communicate with me. He brilliantly shared that he doesn’t know how. So we role modeled how to talk to either myself or dad about intimate subjects. It worked like a charm. From that point on we talked every day about whatever was on his mind. We walked together daily and he would share what he was thinking. I’m sure I don’t know everything—but I know enough.
There is NO SUCH THING AS PRIVACY. Passwords to online social media are kept by both my husband and myself. We spot check them whenever we feel like it. I found out some very horrific information about things that kids were doing by seeing what my son sees. This gave us a great series of discussion points. If you want to keep your kids safe, know what the heck they are doing at all times. You can do this in a fun, kind-hearted way. It doesn’t have to be a punishment.
Bottom line, my job is to raise productive, upstanding citizens, and I tell them that all of the time. Their job is to learn how to become a productive upstanding citizen and to do well in school. That’s it.
eNannySource: Are parents too busy? Are Kids? Why?
Wendy: Parents are way too busy. My opinion is that it is related to the economy and working. No one I know feels like they have more than enough time on their hands. Some kids are overscheduled and some don’t have anything to do because their parents are working. Schools need to step it up and provide a safe, afterschool environment where children/teens can interact with adults who care while enriching their brains. All teens need something meaningful and exciting to be involved in or they will search for it in very inappropriate forms.
eNannySource: Where can we cut back?
Wendy: Oh, wow. Tough question. I think we need to do more to help each other out rather than cut back. Neighbors need to get in alignment with each other, looking out for each other’s children and providing substantive access to caring adults. I think we’ve cut back—that’s our problem. We are satisfied with pumping our youth full of videogames, reality TV, Facebook, Instagram and fast food. How about making the plunge into getting each and every kid involved with an instrument, artistic endeavor, sport or hobby?
eNannySource: What about saying no? Should parents? Should we not?
Wendy: Absolutely! It is your role as a parent to say no. Your job is to keep your child safe at any cost. If no is needed then use it! YES is a fabulous word and I use it as much as possible, but boundary setting begins with giving children/teens limits to the things that your family does not approve of.
eNannySource: Any additional tips?
Wendy: Set a family constitution for everyone to know and honor. I know that sounds crazy, but if our teens aren’t super clear about our family’s values then how can they uphold them? Make sure you acknowledge your own humanity, and if you need to say I’m sorry, then do so. We are not perfect. Goodness knows and so do my kids—that I’m far from it.
Wendy Wolff is an independent writer and thinker. She is working on a collection of essays regarding Making Life Easier. Wendy also contributes to http://indyreader.org.
Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a commentby Michelle LaRowe
Editor in Chief
Recently I had a chance to catch up with good friend and nanny supporter Dr. Lynne Kenney, pediatric psychologist, author and mom. Dr. Lynne Kenney has been actively supporting nannies for many years and has spoken at many industry events, bringing a message of empowerment to those who partner with parents in caring for children.
eNannySource.com: Tell us a bit about what you do and what you’re doing these days.
Dr. Lynne Kenney: I am a pediatric psychologist who teaches brain-based parenting and academic skills to teachers, clinicians and families.
eNannySource.com: What components do you think are essential to having a healthy family?
Dr. Lynne Kenney: This is a BIG question. The short answer is that I think first comes love, then patience. Considering the developmental needs of your children and building your days/activities to enhance their growth and learning are fruitful.
eNannySource.com: What are some easy, practical things parents can do to improve the quality of their family life now?
Dr. Lynne Kenney: First, build social-emotional intelligence by helping children label and manage their feelings without getting angry at them. Second, build motor intelligence with fun movement throughout the day. Third, build thinking skills by describing what we are doing throughout the day. Fourth, enhance their learning, and fifth, look at books, notice words and read for fun to build literacy.
eNannySource.com: What do you think parents are struggling with most today? What are some solutions?
Dr. Lynne Kenney: I think families struggle most when they believe that consequences improve behavior. What really improves learning, communication and behavior is teaching children new words, thoughts and actions. We review this in our new book Bloom: Helping Children Blossom. When we focus on what skills children need in the moment and then we teach those skills, children thrive.
eNannySource.com: What are your best three tips for new, first-time parents?
Dr. Lynne Kenney: Tip one, read good books, like Nanny to the Rescue and The Family Coach Method. Tip two, develop a clear culture in your family communicating what you wish the children TO DO, not what they should not do, throughout the day. Tip three, think of your children as wishing to learn and grow through loving, connected daily experiences with you.
eNannySource.com: How can parents gain more confidence in themselves?
Dr. Lynne Kenney: I think if parents consider themselves teachers and learn about child development, social-emotional intelligence and (later on) academics, they will parent from a perspective of growth not punishment.
eNannySource.com: Tell us a little about Play Math.
Dr. Lynne Kenney: Play Math is an integrated program of motor math activities that gets kids up and moving in order to learn math facts, factors and fractions. Integrating the work of Dr. Martin Fletcher, J.P. Das, Zolton Dienes, Suzy Koontz, SPARKPE, Jean Blaydes Madigan, Georges Cuisinaire, Thomas Carpenter and more, this program provides opportunities for children to develop their math facts and understanding of math factors through movement and play. The program and the overview for motivated parents and nannies can be found at http://www.lynnekenney.com/national-nanny-training-day-play-math/.
Lynne Kenney, Psy.D., is a mother of two, a practicing pediatric psychologist in Scottsdale, AZ and the author of The Family Coach Method. She has advanced fellowship training in forensic psychology and developmental pediatric psychology from Massachusetts General Hospital/Harvard Medical School and Harbor-UCLA/UCLA Medical School. Her NEW co-authored book BLOOM: Helping Children Blossom is available this Spring on Kindle. Combining her love for motor movement and brain development, Dr. Lynne’s newest endeavor, Play Math, is helping children ages 6-11 learn their math facts with playground balls and hoola-hoops for better algebraic thinking. To learn more about Dr. Lynne Kenney and her new book Bloom, visit http://www.lynnekenney.com/is-your-family-blooming/.
Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a commentby Michelle LaRowe
Editor in Chief
Recently I had a chance to connect with Deborah Tillman, host of Lifetime TV’s America’s Supernanny: Family Lockdown. From the difference between a nanny and daycare center worker to her best advice for parents and nannies, here’s what Deborah had to say.
eNannySource: With your background in center-based care, what do you find the main differences are between center care and in-home care?
Deborah: Both center-based and nanny-based have their pros and cons. In center-based care, your baby will be surrounded by other children in a stimulating environment, whereas a nanny is able to provide a tremendous amount of personal attention because she is not caring for as many children. A nanny may be more flexible in terms of days and hours, whereas a center-based facility will provide designated hours of care. There are more teachers and regulatory agencies on site in center-based care, which may make the parent feel more safe. The curriculum, daily routine, eating and naptime schedule is more structured in a center-based setting. It really depends on what the parents are looking for. The only way to really decide what is in the best interest of your child is to visit a number of centers and interview a number of nannies. Once you have narrowed it down to a few options that work with your schedule and budget, go with your intuition and gut for the final decision.
eNannySource: What do you think parents should look for when hiring a nanny?
Deborah: When hiring a nanny, it is important to make sure they have education and experience. It is also important that they have integrity and characteristics like patience, kindness and honesty, which play a huge role in working with children and families. You want someone who shows up for more than a paycheck. They must have a heart for improving the lives of our precious little ones.
eNannySource: Three most common mistakes parents make?
Deborah: First, not spending enough time with our children. Being a parent in today’s age leaves very little time for us to spend any time with our own kids. This is sad. There is not a child alive who asked to be born, so why do we neglect them so? So, if the parents do not have time to raise their own kids, who is to teach them discipline and respect? Who is to teach them right from wrong? What kind of morals will they have? What kind of person will they grow up to be? The way to combat that is to make our children a priority. Spend time getting to know and understand them. If you don’t, someone else will. Another mistake is that there are no limits on technology. Television is a very dangerous force that is doing much harm in America today. We put our children in front of the TV for hours upon hours a day to babysit, and then get mad at the babysitter (TV) for not doing a good job. Violent video games in the house affect children. They mimic what they see because they are very impressionable. Cell phones and text messaging keep you from bonding, connecting and strengthening your relationship with your child. Limit technology to zero time during the weekday and two hours on the weekends with the exception of school work. The third is not leading by example. We argue in front of our children, saying things we ought not. We lie and then tell them not to. We fall short of God’s standard by yelling, swearing and carrying out humiliating discipline techniques, knowing all the while that our precious children are watching our every move. Finally, when all heck breaks loose, we wonder how did it all go wrong and say to ourselves, “is there any hope of changing the pattern of our bad habits?” I am here to tell you that there is hope, mercy and godly wisdom waiting for all of us, but we have to do the work.
eNannySource: Do you think the skill set required to be a nanny is different than the one required to work in center-based care?
Deborah: The skill set required for being a nanny is not much different from that required by a center based Lead Teacher. They should both have the education, experience and professionalism. Not all nannies are equipped to work with more than three or four children at one time, while a center-based Lead Teacher may have up to 10 children depending on the age. They both should be certified in MAT, First Aid, CPR, Food Handler’s license etc., in addition to having the following qualities:
Patience
Trustworthiness
Knowledge of Early Childhood Education
Good Communications Skills
eNannySource: What’s your best three tips for new parents?
Deborah: First, set limits and guidelines so that children know what is to be expected and tolerated and what is not. Second, cling to consistency and follow through with consequences.
Third, ages 1-10: talk, teach and train. Ages 10-20: Listen more, learn them again and love them through their mistakes.
eNannySource: What are your best three tips for nannies?
Deborah: 1. Be Patient and Professional 2. Educate and Empower parents and children 3. Set limits and boundaries with the children and families
eNannySource: What did you think of National Nanny Training Day? Did you know there were so many nannies out there dedicated to continuing education?
Deborah: The National Nanny Training Day was informative and inspiring. I always hoped that there would be so many nannies dedicated to continued education.
Deborah Tillman is the host of Lifetime TV’s America’s Supernanny: Family Lockdown. She is the CEO of the Happy Home Child Learning Centers and is working on writing a second book for children. She holds a master’s degree in early childhood special education from George Washington University. To learn more about Deborah, visit www.deborahtillman.com.
Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a commentby Michelle LaRowe
Editor in Chief
Recently I had the chance to connect with friend and fellow author, Rachel Randolph. I’ve had the opportunity to follow her journey into vegan parenthood and have learned a few things about food and family along the way. Here’s a little of what she dished about on living vegan with kids.
eNannySource: What type of diet does your family follow?
Rachel: We follow a vegan, mostly plant-based diet. No eggs, dairy, meat or fish; lots of veggies, fruits, legumes, whole grains, nuts and seeds and minimal processed foods.
eNannySource: How did you start and why?
Rachel: My husband and I started eating this way three years ago after listening to an audio book together about the many health benefits of a plant-based diet and the health risks associated with the Standard American Diet (aptly named SAD). The China Study by T. Colin Campbell linked several diseases, including heart disease, diabetes and several cancers to the consumption of dairy and animal products. Still newlyweds at the time we heard this research, the thought of losing one another to a completely preventable disease saddened us both, and we committed to eating a plant-based diet for a month to see if we could do it. Three years later, we’ve never looked back.
eNannySource: What were you raised eating?
Rachel: I was raised eating frozen pizzas, Ramen Noodles and fast food. In high school, I got a job at an Italian restaurant and started doing my own grocery shopping. As an athlete, I wanted to eat healthier, so I ate a lot of lean protein like tuna and chicken and low calorie dairy products like mozzarella sticks and Slim Fast shakes. I didn’t really learn to cook until I went vegan, so throughout high school and college I relied on a lot of pre-packaged “health” foods.
eNannySource: What about your little man? Will you serve him a burger if he asks?
Rachel: For now, I try to avoid giving him any meat. At some point, when he can understand the reasons we don’t eat meat, I’ll let him make the choice for himself. Last week we grilled burgers with my husband’s family. I grilled veggie burgers for us; he didn’t even know the difference. He has asked for bites of food with dairy or eggs in it and if he insists after I’ve redirected him to something else, then I give him a little bite. I try to be proactive and bring snacks and food I know he loves when I know there may not be good options for him. For example, we went to a birthday party this weekend. I knew he would want a cupcake, so I made him a vegan cupcake and brought it with us. I froze the rest so I’ll have a stash for future parties. His Mother’s Day Out and church nursery teachers know that we are vegan, but I’ve told them that if he ever gets upset because he wants a goldfish like the other kids, then let the boy try a goldfish. A few tiny gold fish are not worth a giant toddler tantrum.
eNannySource: What were some of the first foods you introduced?
Rachel: As soon as Jackson was past the typical purees and onto solids, he ate things like kidney beans with a little smoked paprika and finely diced sautéed kale, lentil soup, tofu scramble, baked sweet potato fries, green smoothies, nut butter banana smoothies, coconut yogurt with hemp and chia seeds, rice bowls with finely diced veggies, zucchini risotto. For the most part, he ate a finely diced, milder version of whatever we were eating. At 20 months, I rarely have to make a separate dish for him. I advise young moms having trouble getting their kids to eat veggies to up the flavor. Don’t be afraid of seasoning your child’s food. One of Jackson’s first words was “spice.”
eNannySource: What is his diet like now? Give us a rundown of what he eats in a day.
Rachel: Breakfast: He eats my recipe for Healthy Cinnamon Raisin Oatmeal (on my blog) for breakfast almost every day with a cup of almond milk.
Lunch: Peanut butter sandwich, Field Roast sausages with steamed green peas and carrots, or leftovers.
Dinner: Whole wheat pasta topped with roasted veggies and chickpeas, light tomato sauce, and a sprinkle of nutritional yeast or a tortilla filled with sautéed veggies, beans and avocado. Lightly thawed frozen blueberries are a favorite easy dessert (and are soothing for teethers).
Snacks: Rice crackers with white bean guacamole, slice of Ezekiel bread, spoonful of peanut butter, cashews, whole wheat pretzels, bananas, green smoothies, peeled and sliced apples, diced avocado, a little dark chocolate and raisins
Typical packed lunch for Mother’s Day Out: Field Roast sausages and green peas, coconut yogurt with chia and hemp seeds, diced banana or apple slices, almond milk. Sometimes I send whipped coconut cream and Annie’s bunnies for a special treat.
On the go: I always have Green HappyPuffs, organic fruit and veggie squeeze pouches, raisins, and a few whole wheat pretzels in the diaper bag for the car or errands.
eNannySource: How do you keep it fresh AND easy?
Rachel: Plan ahead and do double duty in the kitchen whenever possible. Make one big green smoothie for three days, rather than making one small one every day, or freeze half into popsicles for a dessert next week. Make a double batch of brown rice and dice a bunch of veggies. Have tacos one night and oriental rice bowls the next. Wash your lettuce and herbs the day you bring them home from the store and seal them in zip-top bags with a paper towel. They’ll keep fresh longer and be ready any time you want to add a fresh salad to a meal. I always double soups and freeze half.
eNannySource: Best tips for young families wanting to make dietary changes.
Rachel: Do it together. Make the change together. Cook together. Eat together. When my husband and I went vegan, I wanted him to learn about what he was putting into his body, too, so he planned and cooked one balanced meal a week for us. Now that we have a child, Jackson helps me cook every day. And we sit down and eat together as often as possible. Yesterday, he begged for a bite of my kale salad, so I tore it up and gave him some. He ate it all and reached for more. If your family isn’t on board, then encourage healthy habits by demonstrating them yourself. Let your family see you eat and enjoy beautiful, healthy, flavorful food. Soon they will be begging for a bite of what you’re having.
eNannySource: Pros of a vegan lifestyle? Cons?
Rachel: Pros: I’ve learned to love cooking because being vegan made me get in the kitchen. The flipside, I can’t just easily call in take-out when I don’t feel like cooking. I used to suffer from headaches and bloating. Now the only time I get a headache is when it’s going to rain and I haven’t had a “food baby” in years. I love that I get to eat large volumes of food. Moderation is not a strong point of mine, but I pretty much can eat as many veggies as I want. A big pro, I don’t have to cook with raw meat anymore. I never did like this part of cooking and now I know my kitchen is always salmonella free.
eNannySource: Tell us about your blog and book.
Rachel: My mom, Becky Johnson, and I share a food blog at www.laughcrycook.com. We are opposites in many ways. I’m a vegan, she loves bacon. I crave order, her dishwasher looks like it was loaded by a drunken monkey, but we somehow balance each other out, or at least get a lot of funny material when we’re together. The female side of our family tree is dotted with funny storytellers, prolific authors, hospitable home cooks, and champion chatters. My mom and I just finished co-writing a humorous food memoir with recipes, We Laugh, We Cry, We Cook: Mother and Daughter Dish about the Food that Delights Them and the Love that Binds Them. It will be released by Zondervan in August 2013. In it, I navigate our newly vegan diet, pregnancy, birth, and my first year of motherhood, with my mom by my side cheering me on, supporting me when I need it, and offering an understanding shoulder to cry on when my once orderly life seemed a long distance memory of the past.
To learn more about Rachel, her recipes and her book, visit www.laughcrycook.com.
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