Talking Family Finances with David Bakke

June 4, 2013

by Michelle LaRowe
Editor in Chief

Recently I had a chance to catch up with David Bakke, dad and personal finance blogger. David blogs about family finances and some of the biggest financial mistakes parents make. Here is a little of what he had to say.

eNannySource: Tell us about some of the most common money mistakes today’s parents make.

David: One of the most common mistakes parents make is not saving enough for retirement, as parents who can’t support themselves financially may become a strain on their children’s finances. For that reason, and the fact that Social Security and Medicare both have uncertain futures, it’s important for parents to ensure they have enough to retire. Another mistake is carrying an excessive amount of credit card debt. The worst thing that could happen is for your children to need you someday for financial assistance, only to find that you cannot provide it due to being deeply in debt yourself.

eNannySource: Should kids have allowance?

David: The decision of whether to give your children an allowance or not is a personal choice. It has both advantages and disadvantages, and parents should carefully consider both before making their final decision. Giving a child an allowance is a great way to get them on track for a sound financial future, and can give them a sense of independence as well. If you decide to give your kids an allowance, you should consider tying it into weekly chores or other responsibilities. That way, they won’t feel like it’s an entitlement. Furthermore, you should use an allowance as a means to educate your children about how to save money and the importance of budgeting. The sooner you start teaching your kids about proper money management, the better off they’ll be.

eNannySource: How can parents save money with the rising cost of raising children?

David: First, search for ways to obtain kids’ clothes without paying full price. Garage sales are a good place to start, and Goodwill and other nonprofit organizations also offer a selection of quality, low-price clothes, both new and used. If you simply must have brand new clothes, there are still ways to get them at a discount. Sign up for a Kohl’s charge card if there’s a store in your area and wait for a sale – you may save as much as 30% using the charge card, and the store also has a solid clearance section. Sign up for a website such as FatWallet (a daily deal website), and look for deals and discounts on all kid-related purchases, such as toys, clothing, supplies and more.

There are also plenty of ways to save money on groceries. The cost of feeding those hungry mouths can add up in a hurry, but one of the best ways to cut costs is to clip coupons. Buy several copies of the Sunday paper and get the kids involved in clipping all the coupons for the items your household uses regularly. And during the warmer months, shop for fresh fruits and vegetables at a farm stand or local farmers’ market, which offer very low prices.

eNannySource: Save for college or retirement?

David: Most experts now say that you should forgo saving for college costs in lieu of saving for retirement because your kids will always have federal loans and other financing options at their disposal. But this is a very emotional decision to make. Some parents just can’t get away from the desire to help their kids with education costs, especially since it’s so expensive. And there’s nothing wrong with that – work hard, and find a way to do both. Rid yourself of credit card debt, find ways to reduce your monthly bills and cut back on personal purchases to free up more funds.

eNannySource: Best cost saving tips for parents?

David: Every time you go to reach for your wallet or purse to buy anything, ask yourself: Do I really need this? If you answer the question with complete objectivity, you’ll find that in plenty of cases, the answer is no. Next, never pay full price for anything. If you’re willing to wait for a sale or do your research on the Internet, there’s a way to get a discount on virtually everything that you buy.

Finally, arm yourself with great cash back or rewards credit cards and pay the balances in full each month. For instance, the American Express Blue Cash Preferred card gets you 6% cash back on groceries, 3% on gas and 1% on everything else. What parent doesn’t spend a lot on food and gasoline? Even with the $75 annual fee, you’ll still come out better off in the end over using other credit cards.

Also, consider a Discover or Chase Freedom card, both of which offer 5% cash back on a rotating set of categories throughout the year. And if you shop frequently at Target, consider the Target RedCard. You get 5% cash back on all purchases, applied directly at checkout. You’ll have a tough time getting approved for a large credit limit, but it’s still a great way to save.

eNannySource: Where is the most financial waste in today’s families?

David: One big area of financial waste is that of food. According to a recent report done by the National Resources Defense Council, the average American family tosses one-quarter of the food it purchases. The best way to prevent this is to create a shopping list before you shop for food, and plan out a weekly menu. Be careful not to over-purchase on produce, and keep your refrigerator and pantry organized.

Another area of waste is credit card interest payments. According to NerdWallet, the average American household carries more than $7,000 in credit card debt, resulting in a great deal of wasted money on interest payments. Families that want to get ahead need to seriously address this. One way balances can be paid down is to adopt one simple strategy: If you can’t afford to pay for it by the end of the month, then you just can’t afford it.

eNannySource: Top 3 practical tips for parents struggling financially.

David: First, get yourself on a budget. You won’t be able to improve your finances unless you know where they currently stand. Next, parents should sit down and regularly discuss money to ensure that you’re both on the same page financially. Use this time to establish savings goals, set spending limits on personal purchases and to jointly figure out a way to get out of debt. Lastly, closely examine each monthly bill and see if there’s a way to get your services for less. Cut back your plan whenever feasible, and see if any hidden fees have recently cropped up that you can have eliminated.

David Bakke started his own personal finance blog, YourFinances101, in June of 2009 and published his first book on ways to save more and spend less called “Don’t Be A Mule…” Since then he has been a regular contributor for Money Crashers. He lives just outside Atlanta, GA and most all of his free time is taken up by his amazing three year old son, Nicholas.

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Expert Insights with Laura Fobler Coach and Author of The Parenting Struggle

May 29, 2013

by Michelle LaRowe
Editor in Chief

When it comes to building and maintaining a solid relationship with your children, Laura Fobler, coach and author has some fresh ideas. Recently, I had a chance to catch up with her, learn about her methods and strategies, and discover more about how she helps parents and children build better bonds.

eNannySource: What are the common myths of parenting?

Laura: The first myth is that some parents say: why would I do things differently? I turned out just fine, so I guess my parents got it right and now I’m duplicating their system!

To those parents I’d like to say: what makes you feel so sure that this system will work for your child as well? Is your child a perfect copy of you? And wouldn’t it be nice to think of a system first and then decide what system to use instead of picking up the pieces afterwards, when it’s too late?

The second myth that I hear very often, from both parents and experts on this topic, is that you should let your child know who’s the boss, by punishing, blackmailing or rewarding your child! There are many, many books written why I think you should never even consider doing things like this. But the main reasons are that punishing and blackmailing are based on fear, otherwise, your child would not listen to you. Rewarding is based on dependency, otherwise your child would not be willing to do the things you want. This way, your child will never become an independent individual. In all cases, you are on the receiving end, as you always get what you want!

There are many alternatives that you can use, without the help of punishment, blackmailing or rewarding. So this is also a myth and definitely NOT TRUE at all!

The third myth is that one should be consistent! It is a myth that I also hear often.

When I first became a parent, I also tried to be consistent, but I failed time after time. I simply could not keep it up. So in the end, I gave up completely. When I heard that being consistent is impossible, I felt so relieved! To put it even stronger: if you want to be consistent, you will need to suppress your own feelings and at times, will need to lie to your own child. This way, your child will never learn to take other people’s feelings into consideration. So now you know, this is a myth, and nothing else but a myth.

The fourth myth is that if children don’t obey, one needs to be stricter! I see that many parents try doing this, but they unfortunately fail each and every time.

Besides the fact that your power will be gone at some point anyway, because you have nothing left to punish or reward with, you will notice when you try being stricter, that your child will show more and more resistance and the relationship will deteriorate each day.

Fortunately, there are many alternatives without the need to punish or reward. So, this is a MYTH as well!

eNannySource: What is the most common thing parents are struggling with?

Laura: The biggest challenge for parents today, is that they do not have enough time and energy to spend on themselves! Most of the times, they are completely exhausted!

eNannySource: How can they stop that struggle?

Laura: Parents need to realize that the biggest present to their kids is to take care of themselves! When you take great care of yourself, your child will benefit as well!

Everyone who has flown in an airplane before, will know that in airplanes, they always tell parents that in case of an emergency, they need to put on their own oxygen masks, before they help their children put on their oxygen masks. The reason for this is obvious: if children lose their parent on top of experiencing a disaster, they are in bigger trouble.

The caveat is simple: take care of yourself FIRST, otherwise, you will not be able to take proper care of others!

eNannySource: In today’s busy world, how can parents better connect with their kids?

Laura: The main thing is to stop judging the stories your kids tell you. Simply listen to them and keep your personal opinion or lectures to yourself, as judging may stop your child from telling you the things he’s involved in. Unfortunately, our language is filled with judgmental adjectives, such as ‘beautiful’, ‘stupid’, ‘intelligent’, ‘late’, ‘early’, and so on. Doing this won’t take you more time than usual and you will be amazed by how much your child will tell you once you stop judging them!

eNannySource: How can parents and children better enjoy the time they together?

Laura: Schedule ‘alone time’ for you and each of your children, so you can be with the 2 of you without the interruption of another family member. Having this special time every day would be great and it doesn’t have to be long, reading a book before bedtime or doing a game together are all great ideas. The simple fact that your child has YOU all for themselves, will make a huge difference in your relationship with them!

eNannySource: What’s the best piece of advice you have for today’s parents.

Laura: Never continue a parenting strategy simply because from your perspective, ‘it seems to work’. Please investigate the short term and long term effects of your approach.

Punishing or rewarding ‘works’, but I need at least one book to explain to you the damage you will cause to your relationship (and to your child) using this power system. Trust me, there are much better ways.

eNannySource: Is there anything else you want to share?

Laura: It is NOT your opinion, your intention, your education or your money that defines the quality of your relationship with your child. The only thing that defines the quality of your relationship is how your child FEELS when she is with you. Every human being, children included, want to feel accepted, supported and inspired. Never underestimate the power of your words, as words can contribute to the relationship or they can contaminate the relationship.

Laura Fobler is the author of The Parenting Struggle. Laura received a master’s degree in Psychology and has been working as an independent coach and trainer since 2005. In 2008 she was licensed as a Gordon® Instructor. You can learn more about Laura at www.LauraFobler.com. 

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Expert Insights with Dr. Melillo on Autism Prevention

May 23, 2013

by Michelle LaRowe
Editor in Chief

Recently I had a chance to learn more about Dr. Robert Melillo, his research on Autism and his work with Brain Balance Centers. Here’s what he had to say about what he is doing and what his research has revealed.

eNannySource: What are the signs of Autism and when can they be detected?

Dr. Melillo: The earliest signs of Autism are when children have significantly delayed developmental milestones or they miss developmental milestones, especially motor milestones. If they don’t roll over at three to five months equally on both sides, if they don’t crawl right or enough or if they walk or talk late, these are very significant indicators and they need to be addressed as soon as possible. If you intervene at six months old, you may be able to make a huge difference in a couple of weeks or months. Whereas at six years old it may take six months, and at 12 years it may take a year or more and becomes much harder to correct. If the child has many immune or dietary issues, bowel problems or if he is very colicky and irritable, these are also early warning signs. Also, it has been shown that we can document good eye contact and nonverbal communication between a child and mother at one month. Many women instinctively know if this is right or not in their baby, especially if they have had other children that developed properly. Mothers tell me all the time they felt “disconnected” from their child with a disability. Also, if a child has a real unevenness of skills, where they have certain skills that are exceptional but they seem very behind in other skills, this is also a big clue. If caregivers notice any of these things, I think they should educate themselves. I think Disconnected Kids is the first thing they should read, as it will give them hope. Then they should go to my website or they should try to find a specialist in Functional Neurology (International Association of Functional Neurology and Rehabilitation) or Functional Medicine (Institute for Functional Medicine) in their local area.

eNannySource:  Can autism be prevented?

Dr. Melillo: This is the whole point of my book. Ultimately, if Autism is an environmentally-based and driven disorder, then the answer is prevention. If we can identify and measure as many risk factors as possible in an individual before they become pregnant, or even during the pregnancy, and if we know what the “safe” levels are of that environmental factor, then we can do something to reduce that risk factor and we can measure that. When we get all of the risk factors we can measure and effect into a safe level, then we know that we have lowered the risk of having a child with a disability like Autism. There are no guarantees that it will prevent Autism, but you have reduced the risk significantly, and that is all you can do. As we do more research, which we are doing in my lab, we will be able to have more definitive information. In my book, I go through a Ten Point Preconception/Prenatal plan for a prospective parent to follow. I think it is the best thing produced yet in this area of science and medicine, and it will only get better as I perfect this program in time.

eNannySource: How does diet affect behavior?

Dr. Melillo: In Autism and other neurobehavioral issues like ADHD, diet does play a significant role in creating and exacerbating symptoms. Almost all children with Autism, ADHD and learning disabilities have food sensitivities. However, the makeup of these sensitivities is different in each child. Identifying and eliminating foods that a child is sensitive to is very important; these food reactions often lead to more severe immune responses and create inflammation in the child’s body and brain. These children almost always have what is known as “leaky gut” syndrome, where foods that are not fully digested can get through the gut lining and come in contact with the immune system, triggering an immune response and creating inflammatory chemicals that can affect the child’s behavior and learning ability. This “leaky gut” problem has been known about for years by Functional Neurology and Functional Medicine physicians. However, only just this past year did the American Pediatrics Association admit that they recognized these gut problems in children with Autism, that it was a significant source of symptoms and that it should be addressed. However, what most professionals and parents don’t realize is that the actual cause of this “leaky gut” and the food sensitivities that result along with vitamin and mineral deficiencies because of malabsorption can all be explained as a result of a primary imbalance in the brain and nervous system. The brain controls everything, and a problem with the brain and its regulation of the immune and digestive systems can result in all of the dietary and nutritional issues we see in these children. Therefore dietary and nutritional interventions, although helpful to manage symptoms, are only temporary if the imbalances in the brain are not addressed. The right and left brain control the immune response differently, and they regulate the autonomic system, which is the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems that control the gut and can affect the production of acid, blood flow and muscular contractions. I know this because I personally, along with our Brain Balance Centers, have worked with over 10,000 children, and every one of them has had a blood test measuring their food reactions and vitamin, mineral and amino acid levels. Virtually all of them have some sensitivities; some have one or two, but others have 40 or more. After they have done the Brain Balance Program, we see that in 90% of these children their food sensitivities are reduced or completely eliminated and their deficiencies are gone. They no longer have to be on special diets or vitamins.

eNannySource: Top common myths related to autism?

Dr. Melillo: One myth is that these problems are caused by known genetic mutations and that there is nothing that can be done to reverse these issues. This is incorrect and wrong. In the first chapter of my new book I explain that we are seeing “real” increases in the number of new kids being diagnosed with these disorders, not just recognizing or “over diagnosing” these issues. Based on the fact that we are seeing a dramatic increase in such a short period of time, the cause of the increase must be environmental, as we cannot explain such an increase in purely genetic terms. There is no such thing as a genetic epidemic; genetic mutations take generations or thousands of years to have a big impact on traits. There is no one environmental factor, there are many. Pesticides, antibiotics in our food, hormones, drugs in our water supply, chemicals in our environment; these are certainly some of the factors, but the most important factors are believed to be what we call lifestyle factors. Things like blood pressure, obesity, exercise, diet and stress levels play the most significant roles. I think the main change that has occurred over the past 30 years is the change in physical activity levels at younger and younger ages. This is being driven by technology and computers and the advancement of their popularity. Computer games, video, TV, social media – all of these activities have exploded over the past 30 years, and each year it becomes more pervasive in our lives. The average child 10 years ago had a couple of hours of screen time a day, and that was purely TV and video games. Now they are spending 10 hours a day on average, which includes Ipads, computers, phones and all of these devices. What they are reducing as they increase this number is the numbers of hours they spend moving their bodies and interacting with their environment and other people. This has an effect on adults because it increases obesity and all of these other chronic illnesses. It also increases inflammation stress hormones in our bodies and activates the immune system, which can lead to autoimmunity. In children, this reduced activity is also leading to obesity and other health issues, but the main effect on the child is that it affects their brain development. It results in a slowed and unbalanced development of the brain, especially the two hemispheres which develop in stages. This can lead to a left or right brain developmental delay, which ultimately is what is happening in the brain of a child with Autism, ADHD, Dyslexia, etc.

The other myth is that there is some sort of damage or brain injury in these children. This is also wrong; the thing that is so confusing about these conditions is that there is nothing obviously wrong in the brain. It looks basically normal except that there are areas of the brain that seem to be maturing at different rates. Some areas of the brain are not growing as they should, but they are not damaged. Some areas look more mature while others look immature, and this imbalance is actually the cause of the majority of the symptoms. What we see is that they have certain skills that are advanced, while others are delayed. The more unbalanced these skills are, the more severe the problem. Correcting this imbalance is the answer to these problems; there is no damage or injury to the brain, so there is no reason why we can’t correct these imbalances.

eNannySource: Best advice for parents or caregivers of children with autism?

Dr. Melillo: Educate yourself. Very few people in health professions or in education have any idea what is actually happening in the brains of these children. If you don’t know what the problem is, then you don’t know the best answer either. I think the first thing they should do is get my books, Disconnected Kids and Reconnected Kids.

eNannySource: Anything else you’d like to share?

Dr. Melillo: The research clearly seems to support the fact that Autism really starts in the womb before birth, and that it continues to develop after birth; both are happening at the same time to different degrees. This is why we believe that it is environmental and developmental. It looks like it is genetic, but it isn’t primarily due to a genetic mutation. Environmental factors are effecting the expression of genes before and after birth. The genes most commonly affected are those that build functional connections in the brain, especially between the two hemispheres. We know in all of these developmental disorders, especially Autism, the main characteristic that we can see and measure in their brain is that they have fewer connections between the two hemispheres of the brain. They also functionally seem to have certain skills that are much better than others in their brain and body. This is why it seems that this imbalance in brain development is affecting the connectivity in the brain and produces the unique mixture of strengths and weaknesses that we see in all of these disorders. In Autism and ADHD we think it is a right hemisphere delay, and in Dyslexia and learning disabilities it is the opposite. The reason for the differences is because the two sides of the brain develop at different stages; the right hemisphere skills develop in the womb and for the first two to three years, then it switches to the left for two to three years. So, if a negative environmental influence or factor interacts with the genes that build brain connections at a particular time in development and the child has certain natural strengths more on one side of the brain, all of this comes together to produce these disorders. I believe that these can all be prevented, but if it isn’t prevented all hope is not lost; we can reverse all of these to various degrees, and in most cases we can completely correct them. This is what I discussed in my first and second books, Disconnected Kids and Reconnected Kids, and what we do in our 60 plus Brain Balance Achievement Centers.

 

Dr. Robert Melillo is an internationally known lecturer, author, educator, researcher and clinician in the areas of neurology, rehabilitation, neuropsychology and neurobehavioral disorders in children, including Autism. He’s also an expert in nutrition, with more than 20 years of clinical experience.

Dr. Melillo’s 4th book, The Scientific Truth About Preventing, Diagnosing and Treating Autism Spectrum Disorders — and What Parents Can Do Now, gives a clear and compassionate explanation of the causes of the autism epidemic—and a scientifically based approach for prevention and treatment. To learn more, visit Dr. Melillo’s website www.drrobertmelillo.com or the Brain Balance website www.brainbalancecenters.com.

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Expert Insights: Liz Hunt Principal of Norland Nannies on Being a Norland Nanny

May 21, 2013

by Michelle LaRowe
Editor in Chief

Recently I had the opportunity to connect with Liz Hunt, principal of Norland, the world’s most recognized leader in nanny training. Here’s a little of what she had to say about what makes a Norland Nanny, their training program and the role of nannies in England today.

eNannySource:  Do you think nannies are viewed similarly or differently in the US?

Liz: Norland Nannies have an international reputation for being some of the best Early Years educators in the world. This reputation is upheld in the US just like elsewhere in the world.

Norland was founded in 1892 and since then has been at the forefront of Early Years education. Students now study for an Early Years degree as well as the unique Norland Diploma in order to qualify as a Norland Nanny. This combination of academic study, practical training and hands-on experience makes the training at Norland unique and the graduates highly sought after.

eNannySource: Can a US nanny attend Norland?

Liz: Norland is currently unable to accept international students due to the highly practical structure of the course and restrictions by the UK Border Agency.

eNannySource: What trends are you seeing in regards to employer expectations?

Liz: The course at Norland has continued to evolve and develop over our 120 year history to ensure that the training is current and relevant for the expectations and dynamics of a modern family. Compared to the training in 1892, students are now taught to work in partnership with parents, being led by them in terms of approach when it comes to caring for and educating their children. Employers are now a lot more in touch with different parental approaches, and it is for them to decide which approach they feel will be right for their family. The role of a Norland Nanny is to work with and adapt their approach around the decisions of the parents and family, and this adaptability is highlighted in all elements of the Norland training.

eNannySource: You’ve got some great press in regards to your recent male graduate. Are there any more men applying to Norland?

Liz: We were delighted with the coverage and can only hope that it encourages more men to enter a career in Early Years. At present we don’t have any more male applicants.

eNannySource: Do Norland nannies wear uniforms while on duty normally?

Liz: Historically, Norland Nannies would wear a uniform whilst on duty, however the role of a nanny has become a lot more relaxed and they are now seen in most households as a member of the family rather than a member of staff. In this respect, they are rarely asked to wear a uniform whilst on duty. It is, however, sometimes requested in more formal households or for special occasions.

eNannySource: What defines a Norland nanny?

Liz: A Norland Nanny has been defined as one who has an unparalleled reputation around the world for true professionalism, love of children and a sense of humour.

eNannySource: Is there anything else you would like to add?

Liz: I’d like to share a link to our website where your readers can see more about Norland’s history http://www.norland.co.uk/about/norland_college_history, along with a link to our blog http://notjustnannytraining.blogspot.co.uk/, which looks at what students are doing at today’s Norland.

 

Liz Hunt is the principal of Norland College since 2009 and has over 30 years’ experience in Early Years training. She relocated from the North of England with her husband. Although she is not a Norland Nanny, her initial training instilled in her the values, philosophy and ethics of an early years practitioner. She believes very strongly that a student should experience the very best in standards of learning and teaching, professionalism and commitment from staff. To learn more about Norland, visit http://www.norland.co.uk. 

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Expert Insights: Catching Up with Philippa Christian, Australia’s Best Nanny

May 14, 2013

by Michelle LaRowe
Editor in Chief

Sometimes the notification of a new Twitter follower catches your eye. This was just the case when I received a notification that “Australia’s Number 1 Nanny” was now following me. If someone’s going to call themself the best nanny in their country, it goes without saying I want to learn more. So I reached out to Philippa Christian, the nanny behind the number, to learn why she’s known as her country’s best nanny. Here’s what she had to say.

eNannySource:  How long have you been a nanny?

Philippa: I have been working with children since I was 11 years old, so I guess that makes it 15 years now.  I have always combined babysitting and nannying whilst at school, and once I graduated I took on permanent positions doing what I have always loved – caring for children. I could never see myself doing anything else because I truly feel that being involved with children as a nanny is one of the most rewarding careers of all.

eNannySource:  Tell us about your training and experience.

Philippa: Since the very beginning, I have continuously made time to train, not only for the sake of the children in my care, but also because I truly love learning about what I do.  Whether it be attending a professional nanny school, completing online courses, updating my CPR and First Aid training or even reading parenting and nannying books and magazine articles, there is always something new to learn.

Apart from working as a nanny, I have also trained nannies myself at the Australian Nanny Company on the Gold Coast in Queensland, Australia.  This was a wonderful experience and gave me the opportunity to see how important it is to be on top of the latest information regarding childcare.  Along with the guidance from my mum and my gran, I have also gathered a lot of very useful advice from my relationships with other nannies, nanny agency owners, parents, my nanny mentors, my babysitting coach and even through networking online with other nannies overseas.

I think that experience itself has been one of my best teachers. It has allowed for me to learn on the job, and I believe that learning how to handle a real-life situation has several great advantages over simply reading about it.  For example, while nannying you can see what works best and what doesn’t by trial and error.  You soon learn to predict certain behaviours and have more of an instinct about how to manage certain problems the next time they come around.  Once you can carry out the role and gain the confidence you need, it won’t be long before you will know exactly what you are doing.

 

 

eNannySource: You call yourself Australia’s number 1 nanny. What makes you the best?

Philippa: As a nanny, your job is to serve others.  As Australia’s ‘Number 1 Nanny’ I plan on doing exactly that by the largest amount of numbers I can.

Whilst serving nannies, babysitters and parents with the free advice and online certificates they can complete, I am using the money made by that to serve children in need from all of the countries I have been fortunate enough to visit whilst working as a celebrity nanny.  I have always believed that success is measured not by what you can achieve for yourself, but by what you can achieve for others.  As a nanny, every day you are helping children achieve their goals and building a solid foundation for their future.  I have always loved this, and have decided to try and do it on a much larger scale.

eNannySource: Can you tell us about your most interesting celebrity experience?

Philippa: Well this is a tricky question!  I have worked for quite a few celebrities and have had to work through some pretty major headlines, some of which might be a little too obvious about who I would be talking about if I were to discuss those times.  It’s a really fun lifestyle – lots of holidays, five star hotels, private yachts, first class plane trips and meeting lots of other famous friends of the families along the way.  But all of the luxury and glamour does come at a cost.  Working for families like these, you have no social life, you are worked very, very hard and the expectations are extremely high.  I’ve always loved a challenge, and to this day I still work as a celebrity nanny.

One of my most interesting experiences in this job would be a couple of years ago when I was on a cruise ship visiting islands in the South Pacific.  The family I was working for were enjoying their time in the water together, so I decided to go for a short walk around the island and let them have some family time.  As I was walking along a dirt road with palm trees and lots of bush land surrounding me, I noticed a group of natives standing in the bush looking out at the cruise ship and the tourists.  The night before arriving on this island we were told on the ship that a lot of the natives have never seen ‘light skinned’ people before.  As I kept walking a little boy who was probably about 3 or 4 ran out of the bushes and stood on the road in front of me, just staring at me.  The women who were amongst the group of children were screaming at him, obviously wanting him to go back to them.  I just stopped in complete silence not knowing what to do.  I looked over at the women and smiled.  Within seconds, they stopped screaming at the little boy and waved their hand to him as if to say, ‘It’s okay, you can go.’  The little boy walked up to me and gave me a hug.  That was an incredible day and a day I will never forget.  Although languages can separate us, a smile is universal.

eNannySource: What’s the state of the nanny industry in Australia?

Philippa: Unfortunately, nannies have never really been featured in this country up until now.  They have definitely existed, but have not been officially recognised as a large group of people needing support. At the next Federal election in September, there will be a campaign promoting a ‘National Nanny Rebate,’ which is designed around giving families the choice of considering a home-based nanny rather than ‘away from home child care’ for their children, as the government is willing to provide in-home care at the same cost as day care.

eNannySource: How do you think nannies in the US and Australia are different?

Philippa: As far as I can see, the role of a nanny has always been an important part of American history.  As a young girl, I loved to watch TV shows from the USA, and many of them were about families with a nanny!  It seemed so wonderful that these children growing up in a family didn’t just have their parents to help them, but also a caring friend that they could rely on to help them through many difficult situations.  Our history hasn’t really made a point of bringing nannies or ‘mothers’ helpers’ into the limelight very much, and so it’s a difficult job to compare the differences.

I must say that I have noticed American nannies seem to be a lot more passionate about their work.  Could one of the reasons for this be that there is a lot more available for nannies in America?  In Australia, we don’t yet have nanny conferences or nanny workshops, we don’t have laws that protect nannies whilst at work, we don’t have a recognition week or even a nanny association, but I’m hoping that very soon this will all change as the more we can make available to our nannies, the more we can encourage them to take on one the best and most rewarding careers they could ever hope to find.   After all, a happy nanny equals a happy family!

eNannySource: Tell us about the book you are writing.

Philippa: I am currently writing ‘The Original Handbook for Australian Babysitters and Nannies.’  This has been a project of mine for the past six years.  I really wanted to write it properly and not miss a thing.  When I began babysitting, I would constantly be calling my Mum asking her so many questions – how do I get the baby to sleep if he keeps crying or how do I stop the kids from running away from the trolley when we are in the supermarket? Once I think I even asked her how to cut up an apple for the kids!

This book will hopefully be the ultimate guide to caring for children and help turn good nannies into great nannies.  It’s really something I wish I had when I first started out.  The book covers everything from nappy changing techniques to ‘meals in minutes,’ and goes on to explain things like child psychology and the different kinds of families you may have the opportunity to work for one day.

eNannySource: What are your favourite nanny resources?

Philippa: My favourite nanny resources would be my Daily Diary and communication book.  I have always believed that communication and a strong relationship with the parents of the children in your care is what makes a great nanny/family relationship.  The Daily Diary includes everything about the day, from the meals and drinks the children had to sleep times and even which activities they enjoyed.  The diary covers exactly what happened during the time that Mum and Dad were not around.

The communication book is a book containing everything that Mum and Dad really need to know.  Examples could include a milestone that one of the children may have reached or are showing signs that they are on their way to reaching, certain things that need to be noted like a reminder for the parents to sign a school form or attend a school function or even things like unacceptable behaviour and the way I have handled the situation.  Sometimes as a Nanny we need to discuss things with parents that aren’t very easy, so a communication book is a great way of noting all those things down and going through each of them with the parent.

For as long as she can remember, Philippa Christian has dreamed of becoming Australia’s best nanny. She has worked nationally and internationally for a very large number of families, including some very well-known faces, and over the years has gained what she now feels is enough knowledge and experience to justify the title of, ‘Australia’s Number 1 Nanny.’ Learn more about Philippa at www.number1nanny.com.au, where she hopes to use the experience and knowledge she’s gained to put together an educational package to assist anyone and everyone who is involved or is planning on becoming involved in the caring of children.

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Expert Insights: Teaching Kids About Identity Theft with Julie Myhre, Content Manager at NextAdvisor.com

May 8, 2013

by Michelle LaRowe
Editor in Chief

Identity theft is a real problem and, sadly, children are not exempt from having their identities stolen. Recently, I connected with Julie Myhre, who covers identity theft for NextAdvisor.com, and here is what she had to say. 

eNannySource: How does identity theft happen?

Julie: Identity theft occurs when someone gets a hold of someone else’s personal information and poses as that person or uses that information to create their own fake identity. This information can be a full name, social security number or a bank account number. It’s usually easier for identity thieves to get information about an adult because adults have a lot of personal information about them; however, it is important to also remember that children can be victims of identity theft too. There are a lot of different ways that adults can be hacked; some of these include not having privacy settings on social media, clicking on phishing emails or pop-ups, losing a wallet, throwing away documents that contain personal information, and ATM or credit card skimming, among others.

For children, identity theft occurs a little differently. Child identity thieves are looking for their victim’s Social Security number. Since children don’t have any credit history, it makes it easier for thieves to use their Social Security number and a false birthday to open credit cards. The unfortunate part about this is that people who were victims of child identity theft don’t usually realize it until they are older and trying to apply for a credit card or loan. Thieves usually gather children’s personal information from sports team applications, school documents and any other documents that would have your child’s Social Security number on it.

eNannySource: How is it prevented?

Julie: There are a lot of different steps that you can take to prevent identity theft. One of the major ways to prevent identity theft is to sign up for an identity theft protection service. Most of these services monitor your personal information regularly and alert you if they notice any suspicious or possibly fraudulent activity. A good amount of these services also offer family plans, which will allow you to protect your whole family – including your children – from identity theft.

Some other options to prevent identity theft include shredding all documents that contain yours or your child’s personal information, checking your bank accounts and credit card statements regularly, monitoring your credit report and, lastly, knowing what you and your child post online. A lot of people don’t realize how much information they post about themselves and their family on social media. It’s fine if you want to include some personal information – such as your full name and photo – but make sure that you set your profile to private. Monitor what you and your child post on social media, and check the privacy settings regularly – at least monthly.

eNannySource: What basic things can parents teach children to avoid identity theft?

Julie: Parents should teach their children about identity theft in a similar manner that they teach them about strangers. If you think about it, it’s essentially very similar – someone you don’t know is trying to take something from you. Parents just need to teach their children that their personal information is private and they should not reveal any of it to people they don’t know. Children won’t understand the details of identity theft, so it’s important not to go into too many details. The bottom line is personal information should be kept personal, and it’s important that parents recognize that and teach it to their children.

eNannySource: What age do parents have to start worrying about identity theft?

Julie: Parents should begin to think about ways to protect their child from identity theft as soon as their child has a Social Security number.

eNannySource:  Is it worth investing in some type of protection?

Julie: Yes, in most circumstances identity theft protection is worth the investment. The value of identity theft protection isn’t necessarily in the active personal information monitoring, because the reality is that people can do that part themselves. Instead, the value lies in the identity theft recovery that these services offer. In the instance that yours or your child’s identity is stolen while you’re signed up for an identity theft protection service, you are provided with all the information and tools you need to recover yours or your child’s good name. Identity theft protection services represent you when you’re dealing with the banks, credit bureaus and creditors. It lightens the load on the victim’s side and helps alleviate the nightmare of identity theft. The identity theft recovery assistance is a valuable tool to have if yours or your child’s identity is stolen.

eNannySource: What about the Internet? What are the top tips for parents of kids who use the Internet?

Julie: The most important tip that parents need to follow when their children use the Internet is to monitor what your child is doing and posting on the Internet. Have open communication with your child and make them aware that they shouldn’t be putting any personal information on the Internet – even if it’s your home address in a private message to a friend. Check in with your child and make sure these rules are being followed on all platforms, including the computer, cell phone and tablet. Check your child’s privacy settings on their phone and social media once a month to make sure the information they post on the Internet is set to private.

Julie Myhre is the Content Manager at NextAdvisor.com. You can review identity theft protection reviews and learn more about identity theft on the site. 

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Expert Insights with Corinne Altham Technology Integrator on Introducing Kids to Technology

May 5, 2013

by Michelle LaRowe
Editor in Chief

Speaking of technology, through Facebook I’ve had the opportunity to reconnect with high school classmates. One such classmate is Corinne Altham, who serves as a library information integrator in South Portland, Maine. Recently, we had a chance to connect on the topic of introducing kids to technology. Here’s what she had to say.

eNannySource: When is it beneficial to introduce kids to technology?

Corinne: Today’s touch screen tablet is so intuitive for even the youngest minds, so children today are being introduced to technology when they are babies. I think it’s up to parents to decide upon the right time to introduce technology to their kids, but I also would caution against the overuse of technology at an early age. The brain is social. We learn from our interaction with people, not from screens. The more time our infants and toddlers spent tapping the glass instead of reading cues from families and friends, the more they will lose in social skills and understanding of the world.

School-age children are in an ever-increasing digital environment. From one-to-one iPads in kindergarten to digital textbooks in middle and high school, technology is becoming ubiquitous in our schools. I think it’s smart for parents to start the conversation about digital safety and netiquette as early as kindergarten. As the first teachers, parents need to teach kids to protect themselves and their reputation in both the digital and physical world because, to quote The Social Network, “The Internet isn’t written in pencil, it’s written in ink.”

eNannySource: First tech savvy toy. Laptop or Tablet?

Corinne: Tablets and smart phones are much more intuitive for young kids. When you think about it, a laptop is a business machine. There’s so much more to startup, shutdown and running programs on a laptop that in my opinion, a tablet is the better choice. And with the tremendous amount of excellent applications that can be downloaded to a tablet computer, the choice is clear that it’s a superior tool for kids and learning.

eNannySource: When it comes to introducing kids to technology, what should the goals be? What are the real benefits? The cons?

Corrine: As a tech integrator, I love when I see teachers using technology as a tool not a toy. Tech should be used when it’s the right tool for the job. There are tremendous benefits for parents who want to engage their children’s creativity, reinforce a skill or strengthen problem-solving skills. The real benefits are the engagement that technology inspires in kids. Whether they’re collaborating with an aunt on www.storybird.com or practicing math facts with their best friend on www.arcademics.com , the sheer bulk of what’s out there on the web to engage kids’ creativity and imagination is almost endless. As a parent of young children, I think the biggest con of technology is that we sometimes use it as the virtual babysitter. I see kids in restaurants, in the car or in other public places with their noses glued to mom or dad’s phone and I wonder, what are they missing in the world around them? That may surprise people since I am a technology teacher, but I really think that technology is a big part of the reason that one in three kids today is obese. As with anything in life, there must be balance.

eNannySource: Where can parents find age-appropriate games and activities for kids online?

Corinne: My go to guide for any type of media is www.commonsensemedia.org. They vet and review multiple media types and help parents make informed choices about what their kids are doing online and beyond. But with any app, website or game, it’s important for you as a parent to first review what you’re putting into your child’s hands.

eNannySource:  How can parents establish healthy guidelines for technology use?

Corinne: Excessive screen time isn’t healthy for anyone, never mind developing children, so I think it’s important to set healthy limits on technology early. If you set the tone early that as the parent that you will control how much time is spent in front of a computer or television screen, you should have fewer struggles over limits. When I see that my children are spending too much time watching television or a computer screen, I will call a “Screen Free Weekend” to remind them that mom and dad are the bosses and that we can have fun in lots of other ways as a family.

eNannySource: What are some of the common mistakes parents make with regards to kids and technology and how can they avoid them?

Corinne: Being a parent is such hard work. And the digital age has made parenting even harder. I think it’s super important to keep control of the computers in your home. And don’t forget the SmartPhone you gave your child for their birthday: that’s a computer like all the rest.  If your children are young, allow for parent-supervised use of the Internet only. If you have teenagers, check their browser history. If it’s constantly wiped out, chances are they are going somewhere they don’t want you to see. Pop their names into Google to check their digital footprint. Join Facebook and see what you can find. It’s not snooping if you’re the parent. Giving kids access to the Internet and not keeping tabs on how they’re using it is irresponsible and a recipe for disaster. And if you don’t know enough about computers to be able to keep tabs on what your children are doing online, find someone who does and ask for help. By starting the conversation early with your kids, setting boundaries and having the difficult conversations about the dangers of the web, you can create an atmosphere of trust and communication that will help your kids in all areas of their lives.

Corinne Altham is a Library Information Integrator in South Portland, Maine. She has been teaching in public education for fifteen years. She is a master’s candidate in the Wilkes University Instructional Media program. She runs a popular website www.mrsaltham.com that helps kids develop skills in informational literacy. She is also the director of Camp Invention, a STEM-based summer science camp for students in grades 1-6. 

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Preventing Common Car Related Injuries and Deaths

May 1, 2013

by Michelle LaRowe
Editor in Chief

When it comes to car related injuries and deaths in children, many parents simply believe that their family is immune. Yet incident after incident shows children of seemingly responsible parents – including doctors and teachers – becoming victims of such tragic events.

1. Forgetting a child is in the car. When the typical schedule and routine gets changed or parents are rushed, a momentary-lapse in memory can have deadly results. Placing a briefcase or cellphone in the backseat with the child can help to ensure he’s not forgotten and if he is, with something necessary for the day in the backseat, the adult responsible is likely to return back.
2. Leaving a child in a hot car. Vehicular heat stroke can happen when a child is left in a car. A child’s body temperature rises 3-5 times faster than an adult’s, and even with the windows cracked the inside of a car can reach 125 degrees Fahrenheit in minutes, according to www.KidsandCars.com.  Prevent vehicle related heat stroke by never leaving your child in the car unattended, even for a minute.
3. Backing over a child.  Many children are accidently run over as parents back out of their driveways or parking space each year. This is because young children can’t be seen in the BlindZone of the vehicle. Longer and taller vehicles have a larger BlindZone. To get a feel for your BlindZone, set a 28 inch cone on the ground behind the vehicle and see how far away you need to be before you can see the top of it. The space between the back of the vehicle and the cone is the vehicle’s BlindZone. Always physically check behind your vehicle before backing out to avoid accidental injuries.  
4. Power window strangulation. According to www.KidsandCars.org, power windows have injured or killed thousands of children. Since 1990, 50 children have lost their lives to power window related incidents, and many more have suffered amputations and brain injuries, according to the website. Never leave your child alone in the car. Accidently pressing on the window switch while leaning out the window could have tragic results.
5. Improper use of car seats. It is estimated that 80 to 90% or more of car seats are misused or installed incorrectly. Visit www.safekids.org to find a certified passenger safety technician who can inspect your seat’s installation. Reading the vehicle and seat owner’s manual and watching installation and usage videos put out by the car seat manufacturer can help to ensure that you’re using the right type of seat for your child and your vehicle. 

While accidental car related injuries and deaths can and do occur, the good news is that most are preventable. By using the right seat the right way, never leaving your child unattended in the car and taking added safety precautions, you can reduce the risk of a preventable car related injuries and deaths.

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Expert Insights: Scrapbooking with Creative Memories Consultant Donna Vincenzino

April 25, 2013

by Michelle LaRowe
Editor in Chief

With over 12 years of being a Creative Memories consultant under her belt, Donna Vincenzino knows what it takes to capture and document family memories. From how to get started to how to keep it up, here’s what Donna Vincenzino had to say about the art of scrapbooking.

eNannySource: So a mom wants to start scrapbooking, what’s the first thing she needs to do?

Donna: Find a consultant or get a friend to join you.  I find when someone is working with you it’s easier to stay on track and finish the project.  Set out to make your scrapbooking time for you – a fun and social event.  While scrapbooking might seem hard at first, it will get easier as you get more pages done.  Just remember, the final album is so rewarding, not only to you but to others around you.  Albums are a one size fits all kind of gift. Start by printing your photos now.

eNannySource: Digital or paper? Why?

Donna: I prefer traditional scrapbooks.  To be able to touch the photos, paper and layouts is relaxing to me.  For families on the go, digital is faster.  If you are looking for great gifts for several people who attended a special event, like a wedding, birthday or vacation, digital is the way to go.

eNannySource: What’s the initial investment look like for each?

Donna:  For scrapbooking, well under $100. A Traditional Creative Memories Album size 12×12 runs $26.50. Pages are $19.00, page protectors $9.50, tape $9.50 and a pen to journal with is $4.00: $68.50. The 12 x 12 Picfolio Album has pockets to slide photos into and runs around $40.  Try to attend workshops in your area.  This will save you money because you can usually use all the great tools while there. Plus, you meet some nice people with the same goal: making memories for your family to share for a lifetime.

For digital scrapbooking, it can run $7 for basic downloads of designs.  The Storybook Creator 4.0 full DVD for PC is $30-$72. This does not include the price of printing the album.

eNannySource: What is the best way to keep current on your project?

Donna: Be sure to schedule time each month to keep up with your album.  This will save you a lot of time, as your memory will be fresh and you’ll recall the details you want to use to describe the photo or piece of memorabilia. Label and store all of your scrapbook supplies together for easy access.

eNannySource:  What are your top tips for storing and organizing photos?

Donna: Never be afraid to print and store labeled photos in a shoe box filer.  Write down and store notes with the photos that you would like to add when adding the photos to the album.

eNannySource: What should parents do with photos they don’t use?

Donna: You can keep only the good ones, but do keep extras on hand just in case your child might need them for a school project. You can also frame photos and display them around your home. But my personal favorite thing to do with “extra” photos is to make a photo card and send it to the person in the pictures.  This is always a good way to share your wonderful photos with others.

eNannySource: Is there anything else you’d like to share?

Donna: Don’t let the time commitment scare you. Find a consultant to help you get started.  Some will even do your scrapbooking for you.  Always start with the current photos because they are fresh in your brain. The past years will already be a challenge and will be easier to complete once you get into the groove.  Scrapbooking does not have to be just photos, but can include special memorabilia, too.  Your pages do not have to be extra decorated to tell the story.  Being able to store your memories in an album will allow you to look back on and share the exciting times of your life.

To learn more about Creative Memories visit www.CreativeMemories.com and use the contact a consultant tool to find a consultant in your area.

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Expert Insights: Explaining the Boston Tragedy with Dr. Ohr of Press4Kids’ News-O-Matic.

April 20, 2013

by Michelle LaRowe
Editor in Chief

At eNannySource, our hearts and prayers go out to those affected by the Boston Marathon bombings. As a lifelong Massachusetts resident who has taken past charges to watch the Boston Marathon, the events that unfolded at this year’s event hit too close to home. And like many moms, I wanted to know what to say and what not to say to my young children with regards to the events. I caught up with Child Psychologist Dr. Phyllis Ohr, who offered some helpful tips.

eNannySource:  How can parents offer reassurance to their children?

Dr. Ohr: Parents should offer their children a chance to sit down and talk with them about anything stressful in the news. They can “make a date” to talk, for example, over hot chocolate or when taking a walk or sitting on a park bench or park swings – any time or any place is good for a talk. If they are not directly impacted by the tragedy parents can reassure their children that their life as they know it has not changed- their family members are still there, they still go to the same school and have the same friends. Parents can “normalize” their child’s feelings -which means reassuring their child that feeling upset is very normal and that some kids may feel sad, others may feel scared, and others may feel mad- or all 3 at the same time or different times. Many might not know how they exactly feel, but just know they are upset. And it’s also normal not to feel upset, because the tragedy may seem so far away. Whatever they are feeling, parents should tell their child that if they are so upset that it’s hard to be in school, or with friends, or with family, they should talk to their parent about how hard it is and their parent could help them problem solve what to do to make themselves cope better.

eNannySource: What should parents tell their toddlers? Preschoolers? Elementary-schoolers?

Dr. Ohr: In my opinion, toddlers (2-3) are too young to be told about the events. Preschoolers can be told that some people were hurt in a city called Boston during a race and some very smart people in our country are trying to find out what happened so they can stop it from happening again- I would then ask the preschooler if they have any questions and then answer their questions in a developmentally appropriate way, making sure they give answers directly addressing the question -don’t diverge. For elementary age children I would first ask what they know about what happened to see if they have accurate info- parents should correct any inaccurate info and give the facts and then have their child ask any questions they may have.

eNannySource:  What about media coverage? What age should children be exposed to it? How much?

Dr. Ohr: I don’t think toddlers or preschoolers should be exposed to media coverage- they would have difficulty grasping what’s going on and may be confused by the emotional intensity of the adults covering the news. Perhaps as early as second grade but definitely by fifth grade many children are able to gain exposure to information independently by reading, watching TV or online, even if parents think they are limiting it. I would recommend that parents assume their child can gain access to media information about upsetting events and talk to their child about how to deal with news that’s upsetting, rather than assume they can control the degree of exposure. That doesn’t mean parents can’t set rules (for example, watching news programs together), but they may not be able to enforce rules if they are not with their child all the time.

eNannySource: What’s the three best tips you can give parents for talking to their kids about tragedy?

Dr. Ohr: 1) It’s always good to first ask their child about what they already know of the tragedy 2) Don’t assume you know how your child feels or give your child the expectation that they have to “feel” a certain way. Also, don’t assume that your child knows how he or she feels, sometimes adults can’t identify their feelings in the face of tragedy. 3) Don’t be afraid to show emotion when you speak to your child of tragedy, but model good ways of coping with your emotions- show your child how you can use calm breathing to help cope.

eNannySource: What are some good resources for families impacted by these events?

Dr. Ohr: For families experiencing post traumatic reactions, they may want to consult with a mental health professional, such as a psychologist who is affiliated with a hospital or community mental health center. For support, there are religious groups or hospital-based groups.

eNannySource: What should parents do if they hear their children talking about the events in ways far beyond what they’ve told them?

Dr. Ohr: Calmly, and without negative judgment, correct the misinformation and encourage them to approach you with information they get from others so you can help them understand.

eNannySource: How can parents focus on the good in the world when so much bad seems to surround us?

Dr. Ohr: Show them pictures and tell them stories of all the first responders and the good Samaritans, all of the “helpers” who come out when evil strikes. Together with their children they can think of ways they can help others touched by tragedy so they can do good.

If you would like more information or tips, you can visit www.press4kids.com.

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