10 Tips for Preparing Your Child for a Shot

March 11, 2012

Your child has a date with the family doctor, for a vaccination. Perhaps it’s time for flu shots. Even if you don’t have an appointment scheduled now, eventually she is going to have to face the needle; something neither of you is looking forward to. So what is the best way to prepare her for it? Here are 10 tips for preparing your child for a shot:

1. Hypnosis – For truly phobic young patients, hypnosis has been a successful means of treatment. The children eventually overcome their fear of getting shots. Make sure you find a licensed provider and are aware that this therapy does not work for everyone.
2. Distraction – Anticipation makes the experience far more ominous and scary than it would otherwise be. If you can preoccupy your child just prior to administering the shot, it will take the edge off.
3. Lidocaine – When applied to the area where the shot will be given, this medication can dull the sensation and make the shot not hurt (as much). Some doctors also use cold spray to numb the area before giving an injection.
4. Sing – A comforting, lilting familiar voice can work some serious magic on a child’s nerves. The sound of their mother’s voice literally has a soothing physiological effect on children, reducing the heart rate and lowering anxiety levels.
5. Discuss, don’t dwell – Explain to your child what you will doing at the doctor’s office, including the shot. Focus more on the check-up and other factors, and maintain an upbeat tone. If you dread it, so will they.
6. Surprise – Alternately, you can opt to avoid any discussion about the shot itself, to alleviate any anxiety if your child is prone to worrying. Tell them just before the shot happens so they have a little time to mentally prepare, however.
7. Bring a Game – Provide some entertainment as a distraction and to keep your child in good spirits prior to the shot. The less they think about it, the less it will hurt.
8. Bring Fun Bandages – Let him pick out some Scooby-Doo or Sponge Bob bandages and make preparation for the shot a fun experience.
9. Read a book – Better yet, have your child read a book aloud, and get immersed in an enjoyable story. Like a game, this will help them keep their mind off the shot and lessen their anxiety.
10. Educate – Tell your child about vaccines, illnesses, and why it’s important to have shots on occasion. The more they know about the importance, the more likely they are to stay strong and suffer without complaint when the time comes. After all, even a child knows it is better to hurt a little now than be sick for a long time later.

No matter what kind of child you have: a worrier, a crier, or a fearless wonder, there is a way to keep them calm and happy, even in this circumstance. Know what your child’s needs are and find ways to work with them to make the visit to the doctor a pleasant experience for all concerned.

Posted in Child Care Tips | 5 Comments

10 Ways to Teach Your Child Multiplication

March 8, 2012

Every child in about third grade starts learning about multiplication.  This learning continues for several years as the children learn how to multiply bigger and bigger numbers.  Helping your child learn their multiplication math facts early will help them tremendously in school.  Check out 10 ways to teach your child multiplication.

1. Flash cards: These are tried and true for a reason, they work.  However, not all children do well just sitting and memorizing facts so this method is for the child who is good at rote memorization.  Based on how well they learned their addition and subtraction math facts you should know your child’s learning style.
2. Online games: Do an Internet search and you should pull up several fun online games to help your child learn their multiplication math facts in a fun way.  This method usually works well for the child that learns better visually.
3. Worksheets: Books are available at major book retailers that will help with multiplication worksheets.  Many times just the act of doing something over and over will help the child learn their facts.  You should also be able to find free worksheets online that you can print out for your child.
4. Books: There are many funny books on the market like Times Tables the Fun Way.  This book is very colorful and fully illustrated to help kids learn multiplication in a fun and easy way without the pressure of normal methods.
5. Bake cookies: Multiplication is just adding over and over.  Get out some sugar cookie dough and roll it out.  Pick an example like 3×4 or 4×6 to start out with.  Have your child cut out 6 cookies and lay them on the cookie sheet.  Get out chocolate chips or cinnamon candies or M&M’s and have your child place 4 on each cookie.  Have them count how many total candies or chips are on the cookies.  Explain that 6×4 is just 6+6+6+6 or 4+4+4+4+4+4 and that they all equal 24.  This activity is great for a kinesthetic learner (those that love to move).
6. Table: The multiplication table is really an easy way for your child to get a visual on what they are learning.  With flash cards they are just random facts that seem endless.  When you look at the multiplication table it narrows down what they need to learn.
7. Videos: There are videos online or that you can buy that will help explain the multiplication facts to your child if you don’t think you are up to the challenge or if you just want to have one more avenue to help your child learn their facts.  Sometimes the more ways you can present something the easier it is for them.  Something will click for them and the more ways you try the easier it will be for them to find what works best.
8. Game: Play a card game called Factor. You will have to convert a regular card deck to play this game and you probably won’t be able to use it again for regular cards.  Remove the King and Queen from the deck.  Write an 11 on the Jack and a 12 on the Ace.  To play you have to learn what numbers go together to make other numbers.  Like the factors of 12 are 1, 2,3,4,6 and 12.  You deal out 6 cards to each player.  The player to the left of the dealer starts and calls out what the ‘target product’ is for that hand.  This is determined by them multiplying two of their cards together in their hand.  Then you go around the table and everyone plays a factor of that number if they have it.  They keep the card in front of them because the product of those cards will be their score for that hand.  They played a 3 and a 4 so their score is 7.  The first person to reach 100 wins.
9. Songs: School House Rock has a whole series of 3 minute songs about multiplying by each number.  It’s always easier to learn something when it’s set to music.  The type of child that will learn their facts from a song may surprise you.  Songs allow the child to move around and sometimes that will make the difference in what makes it click for them.
10. Writing it down: The more times that you write something down, no matter what it is, you are more likely to remember it.  It’s a proven fact that if you write something even once it improves your ability to remember because the brain files written information differently than information that you have only heard.  Why do you think teachers make naughty children write one sentence 100 times?  So they don’t forget it that’s why, so it works with multiplication facts as well.

 

Posted in Child Care Tips | 6 Comments

Getting Young Children to Eat by Bill Corbett

February 28, 2012

Sometimes kids won’t eat because it may be an extension of the power struggle we experience with them in other areas.  They feel overpowered, bossed around, or simply small, during the majority of the day, and then discover at mealtime that YOU now want something from them.  Others just don’t like trying something new and others may have real dislikes for tasting or eating certain foods.  Or perhaps they’re just not hungry because they were allowed to snack too much earlier in the day.  It is also common for children to become run down and tired by the evening meal, or pepped up and on their second wind.

Taking measures to stop the chaos begins with recognizing what may be going on with you over this conflict.  Are you recreating the control your parents had over you in forcing you to eat?  Depending on the time and conditions of your childhood, food may not have been as plentiful as it is now and your parents were trained by their parents to eat when it was available.  Some parents overreact to a child not eating, feeling a sense of fear that if they don’t get the child to eat; their child may starve and develop eating disorders.  In actuality, the parent’s over reaction can create eating disorders.  Avoid forcing a child to eat what is prepared because it will drive them further away from cooperating or being interested in eating in a healthy manner.  The parents manner of behavior during an emotionally charged moment can make a child’s challenging behavior even worse.

As a solution to getting the kids to eat, I suggest parents establish a readily available alternative to whatever is being served and allow the children to have the power to choose between the prepared meal and this new established alternative.  The established alternative must not be anything sweet and must not require special preparation.  When my kids were little, our established alternative was a cup of dry Cheerios; the kids could select what Mom or Dad prepared for dinner or a cup of Cheerios.  For some of our children, the alternative was the immediate selection in the beginning.  As most parents do, I worried about them getting the proper nutrition if all they ever ate for dinner was Cheerios.  But because we were consistent with our rules and boundaries, the Cheerios soon grew old and we found the children more willing to eat the prepared, hot food.  Then as they grew older, we added a few more alternatives such as crackers and eventually, a PB&J sandwich.  We never allowed sugared cereals or cookies, and the PB&J wasn’t allowed until they were old enough to prepare it themselves.  The object of the alternative is to give them a choice at meal time and make it something very simple to fix that they can eventually fix themselves.

Here are a few words of wisdom regarding restaurants… they were made for adults!  If you are struggling with getting the kids to behave when the family is eating out, do one of the following: go to a “kid-friendly” restaurant that caters to children, bring a bag of activities to keep them busy and focused, or get a baby sitter and eat out alone occasionally as a couple.  My granddaughter, like her mother, was always a challenge at restaurants.  She talked loud, got up and down from her chair constantly, picked fights with her brother, threw her menu on the floor to see if anyone would pick it up, and leaned over the walls and planters to talk to other patrons.  Frequently she would shout at the wait staff walking by, saying, “Excuse me, I need a new red crayon.  Mine broke!”

One final thought about kids and eating; keep portions small.  Overloading a child’s plate with food can be overwhelming to them.  Give them very small amounts of all the items prepared for the meal and allow them to ask for more.  Putting a full plate of food in front of your child could be like saying “go explore space!”

Bill Corbett is the author of the book “Love, Limits, & Lessons,” and the executive director of Cooperative Kids.  He produces and host a TV show for parents called, CREATING COOPERATVIE KIDS, and you can watch it online at www.TheParentingShow.tv.  He has three grown children, two grandchildren, and lives with his wife and 14-year-old step daughter Olivia.  You can visit his Web site www.CooperativeKids.com  for more information and parenting advice.

Posted in Child Care Tips | 6 Comments

10 Good Ways to Stretch Your Diaper Budget

February 22, 2012

Keeping your baby in diapers can be a huge strain on the household budget. Families spend hundreds of dollars on diapers for one child in a year. If a family has more than one child in diapers at one time, the budget for diapers can end up being more than your household energy bills. It is worth the time to find ways to keep the diaper budget under control. Here are 10 good ways to stretch your diaper budget.

1. Coupons – Clip those coupons from the paper, have friends and family members save diaper coupons for you and don’t neglect the coupon forums online. In addition, most brand name diaper companies will send you coupons and special deals when you sign up for their newsletters online.
2. Sales – Pairing your coupons with diaper sales can really bring the prices down on these weekly necessities. Keep your eyes out for sales that match up with your coupons.
3. Bulk buying – Buying your diapers in bulk from warehouse stores like Sam’s Club or Costco can bring you some savings. There also some bulk shopping opportunities online. Always be sure to determine your cost per diaper including shipping and/or membership fees. Buying in bulk isn’t always a big savings.
4. Don’t over buy – The danger of buying in bulk can be that you over buy for your child’s current size and then have leftover diapers that they have outgrown. If it does happen, you may be able to find another parent who will happily buy them from you, but it is better to estimate your need as accurately as possible.
5. Store brands – Don’t assume that cheaper store brand diapers are of a lesser quality than the brand name diapers. Take a chance and try a few different types. You may find one that works perfectly well for your child without the expensive brand name price.
6. Proper fit – One of the keys to a good diaper is a proper fit so that the diaper doesn’t leak. Find the brand that fits your baby’s bottom best will mean changing diapers when the diapers are wet and not the clothes.
7. Smallest size – The larger the diaper size, the more you will be spending per diaper. Put off the jump to a bigger size until you absolutely have to and save a few dollars by waiting.
8. Cloth diapers – A surprising amount of parents are returning to cloth diapers these days. There is a very definite savings in choosing cloth over disposable, if you are willing to sacrifice the convenience. There are many different options available for cloth diapers on today’s market as well. Old fashioned diaper pins and plastic pants are no longer your only options and diapers come in a variety of styles and thicknesses as well.
9. Diaper gifts – For baby showers and other gift times, a request for diapers only can provide you with a long time supply and big savings on an item of necessity rather than extra niceties.
10. Diaper coop – Families who work together on bulk shopping for diapers can find many more savings opportunities than one family working alone; that is the idea behind diaper coops.

There isn’t one perfect solution, but if you combine a few of these money saving tips together, you’re bound to keep your diaper budget under control.

Posted in Child Care Tips | Tagged diaper budget | 5 Comments

10 Common Reasons Kids Should Say Thank You

February 16, 2012

Saying thank you is second nature to most people and we tend to take this simple expression of gratitude for granted. However, because it’s so common, a thank you left unsaid becomes a glaring omission. Parents who don’t teach their children to say thank you are doing a great disservice to their children. People think kids who don’t say thanks are just plain rude. Here are 10 common reasons you should teach your kids to say thank you.

1. Manners – First of all, it’s just good manners to say thank you. Kids need to learn socially acceptable behavior early and have it reinforced throughout their childhood. Thank you should be two of the first words a child learns to say, after please of course.
2. Respect – Saying thank you shows respect, especially to adults. Parents should teach their children that not showing gratitude is disrespectful and frowned upon by others.
3. Show gratitude – Of course, a simple thanks shows gratitude and lets the giver know the gift is appreciated. Even the smallest gesture should be acknowledged when it’s given freely.
4. Polite – Kids should learn how to be polite to others and saying thank you is part of that process. First you say please, then thank you, follow up with a your welcome and repeat often.
5. Appreciated – People really appreciate it when kids say thank you and they notice when it’s omitted. When children are unable to express their appreciation for a gift in person, they should be encouraged to send thank you notes.
6. Etiquette – Saying thank you is just part of proper etiquette that all parents should teach their children. They need to know what’s expected of them to get along in polite society and improper etiquette won’t get them very far.
7. Good example – Kids who can give an unprompted thank you when it’s required are a good example to their peers and siblings. Politeness is contagious and should be generously shared as often as possible.
8. Reflects well – When people observe children saying a polite thank you, it reflects well on their parents. On the other hand, when that simple gesture is omitted, it really reflects poorly. Most adults will wonder who’s raising this rude child.
9. Shows maturity – Polite children appear much more mature than their rude peers and their more likely to gain respect from adults. Kids should be encouraged to say thank you by letting them know it’s the grown up thing to do.
10. Good habits – Saying please and thank you are just good habits for kids to get into and it should become second nature to them. Repeated often enough, eventually they won’t need to be reminded.

When teaching your children to say please and thank you, be sure to lead by example. Kids learn best by imitation, so make a point of saying thank you to them as well. Since the words thank you can be difficult for toddlers who are just learning to talk, learning it in sign language first can be easier for them. It may become tedious to continually remind kids to say thank you, but eventually it will become second nature to them and they won’t need to be reminded. Giving your children a strong foundation in good manners will serve them well throughout their lives.

Posted in Child Care Tips, Parenting | 7 Comments

10 Tips for Disciplining Kids in Front of their Friends

February 7, 2012

There are times when parents are forced to discipline their children in the presence of others, which can be quite tricky. This delicate situation should be handled as such, in order to avoid damaging a child’s self esteem and leading to taunts from the observing classmates. These ten tips can strike a balance between effectiveness and overly harsh when your child is acting out in public.

1. Acknowledge the Behavior – Immediately acknowledging inappropriate or naughty behavior in a calm voice lets your child know that you are aware of the situation, and that their behavior isn’t acceptable.
2. Pull Them Aside – If at all possible, separate your child from his or her friends before doing anything more than acknowledgment; explaining to them in a one-on-one setting that there are repercussions for making poor behavioral choices is much more constructive than berating the child in the presence of their peers.
3. Inform Them of Impending Discussions – When it’s not possible to pull your child aside, simply inform them that you’re aware of what they’ve done, and will be discussing it and the resulting disciplinary action when you get home.
4. Keep Your Voice Down– Never shout at your child, especially in a group setting. In addition to creating the impression that you’re an angry parent, it also embarrasses your child by attracting more attention to the situation.
5. Avoid Humiliation – Belittling a child is never acceptable, but it’s certainly not the right track when they’re surrounded by others. It is possible to be respectful of your children while expressing disapproval for their actions, and it’s the best possible route in public.
6. Don’t Talk About Behavior While Driving – If you’re at an event or away from home when the behavioral problem occurs, avoid the temptation to discuss it on the way home. In addition to the risk of distraction-related accidents, the trip will give you time to sort your thoughts and cool off.
7. Don’t Make Threats – Threatening your child with a punishment in front of their friends definitely falls under the “Humiliation” header for them, but it can cause other parents to become suspicious.
8. Avoid Commenting on Their Friends’ Behavior – Even if you know that one of your child’s friends was the ringleader, it’s best not to engage that child or attempt to scold them. Emphasizing the importance of making the right choice when others aren’t is the key to instilling a sense of self in your child.
9. Don’t Be Critical – Making criticizing remarks about your child’s behavior or abilities is hurtful anytime, but that pain is compounded if the remarks are overheard. Choose your words carefully, and avoid “You always…” and “You never…” statements.
10. Keep It Short and Simple – Long lectures will leave your child’s mind wandering and can also create an opportunity for their peers to tease them later.

Regardless of your parenting style, disciplining a child in public is bound to be awkward for both parties. The most important thing to keep in mind is that humiliating your child will only lead to more behavioral problems; try to solve things as quickly and constructively as possible.

Posted in Child Care Tips, Nanny Discipline | 5 Comments

10 Real Reasons Kids Fight Taking a Bath

February 1, 2012

Do you have a child that hates taking a bath?  What do you think the reason is?  Sometimes adults feel like kids are just being difficult when they refuse to take a bath and that there isn’t a real reason behind why they don’t want to take a bath.  However, sometimes there are real reasons why they resist.  Check out 10 real reasons kids fight taking a bath.

1. Fear of water: Some kids could have a fear of water.  It does happen and when kids get older their ability to voice their fears improves.  Maybe they choked on some water in a baby pool once or they knew someone who drowned.  That could have caused them to fear water and wonder if the same thing could happen to them.
2. Painful rash: Kids can get a nasty case of diaper rash or variations on diaper rash that are extremely painful when they hit warm water.  Even older kids could get a rash brought on by an allergy to laundry detergent.  If parents always send them in to shower by themselves then there is no way that they would know what is going on.  Older kids might be embarrassed to say something about a rash.  Rashes are sometimes brought on by medications and it could be serious so look deeper into why your child doesn’t want to take a bath.
3. Fear of going to bed: Some kids suffer from night terrors or nightmares and have a fear of going to bed.  Many bedtime routines include taking a bath so it’s not unusual for a child to think that if they can prolong the bath that they will prolong having to go to bed.  Getting to the bottom of their fears is important so you can give them the help they need.
4. Get too cold afterwards: It’s not fun to get out of a nice warm bath and get really cold.  It’s possible that your child is really sensitive to temperature changes and just dreads getting into hot water only to get out and be really cold.  Helping kids by bringing a heater into the bathroom or drying them off quickly afterwards may help them not dislike the experience so much.
5. Don’t like getting hair pulled afterwards:  My daughter has long hair that tends to get really tangled when she washes it.  She has actually told me that she hates taking a shower because she doesn’t want to get her hair pulled.  While we try our best not to pull her hair we have added a spray-in detangler to her routine so she doesn’t hate it quite so much.
6. Hate cleaning the bathroom up: Both my kids hate that they have to pick up towels and wipe up any water on the floor when they get done with a shower.  They also have to pick up their clothes and take them back to their room.  For some reason they hate doing this and this will cause them to fight taking a bath.
7. Hate the blow dryer: Some girls hate the blow dryer.  The sound is loud and it blows their hair in their face which they don’t like.  Going to bed with wet hair or going out in the cold with wet hair isn’t a good option so sometimes blow drying is a necessary evil.  To avoid this fight you might move the bath time from bedtime to maybe the morning or after school when there’s more time to let it dry naturally.
8. Don’t want to miss out: If you have particularly social kids or you are doing something really fun as a family it can be hard for a child to leave the fun to go take a shower or bath.  Try to let your child know that you will pause the movie or the game until they get back.  To avoid this you might change bath time to after school when there isn’t so much family fun going on.
9. Afraid of falling in the shower: Children can get a little careless in the bathtub and maybe they have slipped or fallen in the past.  Having a fear of falling or getting hurt is actually pretty common.  To help with this you might put rubber grips on the bottom of the bathtub to give them better traction.
10. Hate getting sprayed in the eyes: Once a child reaches a certain age they are better off taking a shower versus a bath.  Girls with long hair have a hard time washing their hair by themselves in a bath so a shower works out better.  However, they are still pretty short and may hate having the spray get in their eyes.  A solution for this is a shower head that attaches over the faucet and can be suction cupped to the wall at whatever is an appropriate height for your child.

 

Posted in Child Care Tips | 8 Comments

10 Ways to Tell a Child You are Sorry

January 24, 2012

Communication and trust are the hallmarks of a strong relationship; and, with all due respect to Erich Segal, that means knowing when to say you’re sorry. Sometimes knowing how to say it is even more difficult, especially when it comes to our children. Let’s take a look at some alternatives for when you need to mend fences with your child. Here are ten ways to tell a child you are sorry:

1. Listen. – We can’t really comprehend the extent to which we may have upset someone, unless we let them express that hurt. This is often the first step toward knowing how to apologize.
2. Don’t Mince Words. – Admit fully what you are apologizing for, and skip the excuses. The bottom line is trust, and your child needs to know that you can be relied upon, even when it comes to admitting when you’re wrong.
3. Write a Letter. – There are occasions when expressing your remorse in writing is the best approach. It allows you to fully verbalize your apology, while also giving your child time to reflect without the obligation to accept an apology, before they are emotionally prepared to do so.
4. Make Amends.  – It’s important that a child understands that the phrase “I’m sorry” is not an eraser that magically wipes out fault and accountability. So an apology should always include corrective action of some kind.
5. Ask How To Fix It. – Discuss with your child how to make those amends. When you have caused someone hurt, the lesson here is that how you make things right should be determined by the party who has been wronged.
6. Reinforce Your Love. – Let them know that anything you may have done or said out of anger or frustration in no way changes your feelings toward them.
7. Build Trust. – When faced with similar circumstances in the future, show your child that you are committed to acting differently. Children see the contrasts we sometimes display between our words and our deeds.
8. Show Trust. – Conversely, if you find yourself needing to apologize for a lack of trust in them, demonstrate a sincere willingness to trust your children by granting them greater freedoms or responsibilities.
9. Have a Plan. – Create an environment of mutual respect and personal responsibility toward one another in your home. Discuss how to deal with grievances between members, and stick to the agreement.
10. Make it Public. – When apologizing for something that occurred in the presence of others, it’s a good idea to say you’re sorry with them present as well.

Posted in Child Care Tips, Nanny Conflict | Tagged i am sorry, nanny sorry, sorry nanny | 5 Comments

10 Tips to Help Kids Stay Dry at Night

January 15, 2012

Nocturnal enuresis, commonly known as bedwetting, affects millions of kids and teens around the globe. Approximately 15% of children wet the bed past the age of three, according to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. It is a symptom, not a disease, that runs in families, and is usually not associated with any emotional problems. There are a number of steps that doctors recommend to help bedwetters. The following are 10 tips to help kids stay dry at night.

1. Limited Liquids – Avoid excess fluid intake after 3pm. Carbonated drinks, caffeine, chocolate and citrus should be curtailed.
2. Urinate Just Prior to Bedtime – One of the causes of bedwetting is inadequately developed bladder control. Emptying it as close to bedtime as possible reduces the risk of it emptying involuntarily.
3. Focus on Pee Breaks – Rather than setting as a goal to get through the whole night, work with your child on getting up during the night to urinate.
4. Reward Milestones – This is an especially effective technique for use with younger children. Establish some goals – such as consecutive nights without incident – and provide incentives to reach them.
5. Avoid Blaming or Punishing – Conversely, reassure the child that they are not at fault for their bedwetting. Emotional trauma only makes matters worse.
6. Reassurance – As bedwetting does run in families, you can share with the child that another family member once had the same problem, and got through it, just as they will too.
7. Toilet Access – Be sure the path from the child’s sleeping quarters is as short, and as nearby, as can be arranged. The fewer the obstacles and the shorter the path, the more likely your child can get there quickly and safely in the middle of the night. Make sure the way is sufficiently lit as well.
8. Alarm Technique – Some doctors also recommend alarms which can be safely placed on the child’s underwear or bed pad. The alarm is activated by the wetness of the urine, and wakes the child to finish in the bathroom, then change clothes and bedding, etc. Ultimately, the conditioned response has led to as much as a 70% success rate.
9. Daytime Drill – Have your child go to the bed first to lay down for a few moments prior to bathroom visits during the day. This kind of drill will help the child develop the habit of getting up at night to go.
10. Involve Child in Clean-up – While your child should never be blamed, he or she needs to be aware that getting over the bedwetting is up to them, and not you. Having them take part in the clean-up helps them understand what’s involved, and makes a good motivational tool.

Posted in Child Care Tips | 6 Comments

10 Ways to Tell if a Kid is Lonely

January 7, 2012

Parents of an only child worry about him or her becoming lonely, but even kids in large families can suffer from loneliness. Being lonely really doesn’t have to result from being alone. Some kids are perfectly content to spend time on their own and don’t seem to need as much social interaction as others. On the other hand, some children can feel isolated even when surrounded by a large family or other peers. How do you tell if a kid is lonely or just likes to be alone?

1. Talks a lot – One of the first signs of a lonely child is that he/she talks a lot. Kids who feel a need for social interaction will talk incessantly. Unfortunately, this constant blathering can really be bothersome to other people and cause further avoidance. This only makes things worse for the lonely kid.
2. Seeks attention – Another big clue a child feels lonesome is when he/she is constantly seeking attention. This can manifest itself in either positive or destructive ways. Attention seekers can either misbehave or engage in goofy shenanigans. Many of the best comedians started out as class clowns who were just lonely kids looking for attention.
3. Make-believe friends – Does your child have make-believe friends he/she interacts with on a regular basis? This could either be a sign that he/she has an overactive imagination or is really lonely.
4. Pesky – Lonesome kids can really be pesky at times. They will pummel you with constant interruptions at the worst times. The problem is that they resent the attention you give to your work, other people or even household tasks and try to divert it to them.
5. Reclusive – Although some lonely children will do whatever they can to get attention, others will do the opposite and become reclusive. This sign is a little harder to read because some kids just prefer to be alone while other really crave company but don’t know how to achieve it.
6. Lacks social skills – Most lonely children really lack the social skills they need to get along with others. This is like a catch 22 since this lack of skills just compounds the problem. Does the kid lack these skills because they’re lonely or are they lonely because they don’t know how to get along with their peers?
7. Low self esteem – Kids who are lonely really have low self esteem. They’re constantly seeking the approval of others to determine their own self worth and are subsequently disappointed. These children need to learn that they do deserve friendship but are not responsible for the poor behavior of others.
8. Behavior problems – Lonely kids can develop behavior problems such as being timid, anxious or unsure of themselves. This can only reinforce the problem if peers reject or victimize them because of it.
9. Sad – Lonesome children can become very sad and unhappy. They can start sobbing for no apparent reason and will reject any consoling. This can be heartbreaking for parents who often have no clue as to the underlying problem.
10. Says so – The most definitive sign your kid is lonely is when he/she says so. They might not come right out and say “I’m lonely”, but may say things like “Nobody likes me”, or “I don’t have any friends.” These kids are really seeking help and their pleas shouldn’t be ignored.

Parents of a lonely child really have a challenge to help their child overcome this problem. It takes some extra added attention and time out of their busy schedules. They also risk being accused of playing favorites when there are other siblings in the family. Parents can’t force other children to like their lonely child, but can help him or her with their social skills and self esteem. With love and understanding parents can encourage their kids to overcome their loneliness. When children learn to love themselves they find that others will follow suit.

Posted in Child Care Tips | 5 Comments ← Older posts Newer posts →