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Nanny to Nanny: An Interview with Shaun Sturz of Beverly Hills Nannies

August 15, 2012

I recently had the chance to chat with Shaun Sturz, star of ABC Family’s Beverly Hills Nannies about what’s it’s like to be the most sought after manny by day and children’s book author and illustrator by night.

Here’s how our conversation went.

eNannySource: Tell me about your current nanny position.

Shaun: I am still working for the same family that I have been with for 6.5 years. The kids are teens now. When I first started as their manny they were 12 and 8 years old. They are now 18 and 14. My nanny role has definitely changed as they got older and they don’t need me as much. Now I mostly hang out with them and drive them around.

eNannySource: How do you define a nanny?

Shaun: A nanny is someone who loves kids and wants to make a difference in someone’s life. I define a manny as everything a nanny can do with added testosterone. Mannies don’t mind getting rough, tough and dirty. Like nannies, we provide the love and support and encouragement kids need.

eNannySource: Are you a career nanny?

Shaun: I’m not! Looking back at high school, all of the jobs I’ve had have always been with kids. A life guard, swim instructor, soccer coach. With my first nanny gig, they asked me to be their nanny. I’ve fallen into this and I’ve always been hired by word of mouth. I’m going in the children’s author and illustrator direction and I think being a manny has kept me playful and inspired my stories, but has also given me the time during the week to join writing groups and work with animators to really refine my craft.

eNannySource: Do you like the term manny?

Shaun: I love it! My mom was actually the one who told me I was a manny. At first I felt kind of weird about it, but when I started with the family in LA, it was popular and I began to like the term. It made me feel special. Kind of exotic.

eNannySource: Do you feel like it was hard to gain respect as a male child care provider?

Shaun: Not really hard, but I think I had to gain it a different way. A lot of jobs I have gotten have been because I am a dude. The kids look at me like I am a play buddy and not a nanny. There have been times I got rough and tough with them and played, and these are some things a normal nanny might not do, but, I did demand respect from them and set the boundaries. So at first they thought I was a play toy because I was so active, but over the years I’ve gained their respect.

eNannySource: Did you have to overcome any stereotypes being a male nanny?

Shaun: I don’t think so. Are there any? I’ve never met a male nanny before the show. If there are any, I think things are changing and I’m on the forefront of that. People have always asked me to be their nanny, so I’ve never had to overcome any stereotypes.

eNannySource: You mentioned on the show you’ve started other businesses. What’s that about? Are you in business with Kristin?

Shaun: One business I started was with my dad – a high tech foam installation company. I didn’t love it, but I went through the whole process of setting up the business. I am also starting to write books and develop my own brand as a manny/kids book author and illustrator. I offered Kristin help because setting up the business is something she really wants to do and I’ve done it.

eNannySource: I’ve read on ModernMom that you’re what you call a freaky eater. You don’t like fresh fruit unless it’s in a smoothie. What’s your best advice for parenting picky eaters?

Shaun: Yeah, that’s a texture thing. I’ve found that you can give kids two options: you can have this or that. But you can also try to disguise the food. This is what I do in smoothies and stuff. Don’t freak out if a kid doesn’t like something- they aren’t going to love everything. They need to grow and acquire tastes. I still pick up new foods I like every year. I don’t know too many people today who eat like they did when they were a child.

eNannySource: You came out on the show as a gay nanny. Have you experienced discrimination in the workplace because of that?

Shaun: None at all. Most people may not have known, though. It’s not something I really discuss. Being a manny you are in your employer’s house but there has to be some boundaries. I don’t necessarily tell them everything about my life.

eNannySource: Some of my nanny friends have asked why the nannies have to dress up on the show but the mannies don’t. What gives?

Shaun: What would we wear if we were dressed up for work? I’m not sure. Scrubs? I guess it doesn’t work for men like it does with the women.

eNannySource: Do you think men make better nannies?

Shaun: Honestly, it depends on the family and what their needs and wants are. For me, and maybe I am biased, I think that I have just as many qualities as a woman, but bring more to the table because physically I can do more and am more athletically inclined.

eNannySource: Tell me about your books.

Shaun: Growing up my mom was an elementary school librarian. She’d bring books home but I only liked the picture books. I actually ended up being an art major in college. When I was a nanny for one family, the family had a dog that ran away on the beach. We found the dog on the next day. I then had a moment and realized I should write a children’s book. A few years later, I am still working on it. I actually just sent out my final copy and am hoping to be selected to be published. The book is called Baxter Bu. Baxter was the name of the dog and the family was in Malibu, so Bu comes from that. The story is about a boy and his dog. He wants to be accepted and runs away from home and tries to surf. He meets interesting characters along the way and learns that it is okay to be different and to have similar interests. He learns that you can accept and love each other, differences and all. The story is really a reflection of my life- being gay or whatever – to be accepted while thinking you are different and trying to fit in, but realizing who you are and fitting in as you are.

You can watch Shaun and the rest of the cast of Beverly Hills Nannies on ABC Family Tuesdays at 9/8 pm central.

Posted in Beverly Hills Nannies | 2 Comments

30 Blogs Nannies Should Try for Discipline Ideas

August 15, 2012

Reality television shows like SuperNanny have created something of a false impression regarding nanny disciplinary techniques by enforcing the idea that the majority of nannies are engaged by parents who are struggling with problem behaviors and are searching for corrective childcare services. However this is not actually an accurate view of the private childcare industry. Professional nannies know that most parents actively seek a nanny whose disciplinary style compliments their own, which creates a need for nannies to be well-informed about a variety of child-rearing methods and styles.

There is such a wide variety of parenting and childcare blogs available that nannies are no longer required to spend a small fortune at the book store every time they get a new post; instead there’s a wealth of information on line, right at your fingertips. These thirty blogs feature posts that run the gamut of parenting and disciplinary styles, and nannies are encouraged to research the elements of each style and attempt to adapt their own style of discipline to include elements of that favored by her charges’ parents.

Permissive Parenting

Permissive parenting is characterized by a lack of hard-and-fast rules, uses gentle corrective action, and values lenience over authority. While this style of parenting is sometimes decried as “indulgent” parenting, there are many parents who are fiercely devoted to this non-confrontational style of child-rearing.

Authoritarian Parenting

Authoritarian parents are characterized by their strict rules and non-responsive attitudes, and usually favor punishment over less harsh discipline. Most also have extremely high expectations and don’t always feel the need to explain their reasoning behind rules and punishments.

Authoritative Parenting

Falling somewhere between permissive and authoritarian parenting styles on the spectrum, authoritative parents enforce rules and boundaries, while encouraging independence and expressing affection. Authoritative parents have high expectations for their children, and discipline them when rules are broken, but do not withhold affection and encouragement.

Attachment Parenting

Parents that subscribe to the attachment parenting theory popularized by pediatrician Dr. William Sears are likely to have very strong ideas about the type of discipline their children are subjected to and the methods by which it’s carried out. Based around the theory that children form emotional bonds with their caregivers during early childhood that shape their lives throughout adulthood, attachment parenting tends to take a very gentle approach to discipline.

Natural Consequence Parenting

Using natural consequences as a form of discipline is a matter-of-fact approach that allows kids to see the consequences of their actions without threatening, bargaining, or giving in and interfering to affect the outcome of a situation.

Positive Reinforcement Parenting

Positive reinforcement as a method of parenting focuses less on telling children how not to behave, and more on rewarding good behavior as a means of encouraging continued good conduct. Adherents theorize that children learn to associate good behavior with pleasurable outcomes, and then actively seek those outcomes by choosing not to misbehave.

It’s important for nannies to respect the chosen parenting methods of their employers, even if they don’t agree with them; in the end, the parents have the right to make the final call regarding how and why their children are disciplined.

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Nanny to Nanny: An Interview with Kristin from Beverly Hills Nannies

August 13, 2012

by Michelle LaRowe
Editor-in-Chief

Recently I had a chance to speak with Kristin Lancione, star of ABC Family’s Beverly Hills Nannies. With my background as an INA Credentialed Nanny with more than 15 years of professional nanny experience, I went into the interview unsure of how it would go or what to expect. Was she the real deal or not? A minute into the conversation we connected and swapped nanny stories like old friends, reaffirming what I’ve always known to be true: No one understands the daily joys and struggles of being a nanny like another nanny.

Here’s a snip-it of our conversation:

eNannySource: Can you tell us a little about your nanny experience?

Kristin: Sure. I’ve been a nanny for 8 years and was with one family for 6 years. Honestly, I don’t have any specialized training or education, I just kind of fell into being a nanny and loved the families I worked for. Everything I’ve learned has been hands-on.

eNannySource: How have you found your work? Have you used an online site? An agency?

Kristin: I’ve been really blessed and have never had to book a job through an agency or online site. I’ve always found my work through word of mouth.

eNannySource: What are the top 5 things that make a good nanny?

Kristin: Gosh, there are so many things. In addition of having a love for kids, I think respect for yourself, respect for your work family, integrity, honesty and being a real person are important.

eNannySource: What’s your definition of a nanny?

Kristin: There are so many different definitions of a nanny in every town. To me, it’s someone who is part of the family. You know the things that need to be done and you do them. I’ve never viewed working as a nanny as being a job. To me it means giving things to everyone else and understanding your role.

eNannySource: You seem to be setting up an agency on the show. Are you doing this in real life?

Kristin: Yes! I am setting up an agency.

eNannySource: What do you think makes a good agency?

Kristin: I think it’s important to understand and meet the client’s needs. I’ve also learned it is best not to do friends a favor!

eNannySource: What about background screening?

Kristin: In California, agencies have to use TrustLine, so we do that. Also, we do drug tests. If you can’t pass a drug test, you have something wrong.

eNannySource: So what makes a good match?

Kristin: Chemistry! I can place the best nanny with a family, but it’s all about chemistry.

eNannySource: How real life is Beverly Hills Nannies?

Kristin: It’s the most real that you can get. While of course it’s edited, they are doing a real good job portraying our real lives.

eNannySource: So would Marika asking Justin to rub her feet be normal in Beverly Hills?

Kristin: No! I would have laughed in her face!

eNannySource: What do you say to real-life career nannies who question if you’re a “real nanny”?

Kristin: I have worked with kids for 8 years. It doesn’t matter what you call me. I am not a career nanny, though. I won’t be doing this for the rest of my life.

eNannySource: What do you say to someone who was considering becoming a nanny?

Kristin: If you are a nanny or if you want to be a nanny, it’s not really something to think about. You just know. Just make sure the kids needs come first. Don’t do it for the lifestyle and don’t do it for the perks. Do it because you genuinely love kids.

You can watch Beverly Hills Nannies on Tuesdays at 9 8 Central on ABC Family.

Posted in Beverly Hills Nannies | 9 Comments

Steps Nannies Can Take To Prevent Common Childhood Injuries

August 13, 2012

While minor injuries are a largely unavoidable part of an active childhood, one of the most important aspects of a nanny’s job is to keep her charges safe and healthy. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that more than nine million children between infancy and 19 years of age are seen in emergency rooms across the United States each year, and that the leading cause of death among this demographic is injury. While the vast majority of the injuries that you tend to will be quite minor, eliminating the ever-present risk of serious or even life-threatening injury is of the utmost importance. By taking a few simple steps, you may be able to help lower the likelihood of a trip to the ER, or at least a few tears.

Help Kids Learn Safe Behavior – While it is your job to help keep your charges safe, it’s also partially your responsibility to help them learn to make safe choices for themselves. It’s virtually impossible to be on guard and watching more than one child every moment of the day; for those times when your charges are playing around the corner or in the next room, it’s imperative that they have a working idea of how to keep themselves safe and avoid danger.
Model Safe Habits – Children learn by playing, exploring, and asking questions; they also learn a surprising amount of their habits and behavior by mimicking the behavior of the adults in their lives. As such, it’s important that you make an effort to always model safe habits. Rather than taking a “do as I say, not as I do” approach to childcare, you should lead through example, helping your charges learn to behave safely by seeing such behavior in action.
Practice Safe Car Behavior – The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration states that car accidents are the leading cause of death for kids between the ages of three and 14. While not all accidents result in such dire circumstances, it’s absolutely necessary for kids and their nannies to adhere to the basic rules of road safety, including proper restraints, keeping kids in the back seat, and minimizing distractions so that adults can drive as safely as possible.
Supervise, Supervise, Supervise! – Whether it’s in the swimming pool in summer time or the bathtub in winter, drowning is a leading cause of death and injury among children. Any time your charges will be in or around water they must be supervised vigilantly the entire time. When there’s no water in sight it’s still not wise to lower your guard too far; an inquisitive and adventurous child can find themselves in risky, potentially dangerous situations much faster than most caregivers realize. Even experienced nannies can have injuries on their watch, so stay attentive and avoid as many distractions as you can while on duty.
Eliminate as Many Hazards as Possible – Some parents childproof their homes the moment they get a positive result on a pregnancy test; others may take a more relaxed approach and opt not to install an array of devices and gadgets to keep little fingers from questing into unsafe territory. If your employers fall into the latter category you’ll have to be extra-vigilant in your supervision and eliminate as many of the potential hazards in a room as possible. Even in homes that are childproofed to the hilt, you should make sure that you keep an eye out for danger, and make sure that you’re not creating hazards through your own behavior. Keep the handles of pots and pans turned inward, spills wiped up to prevent slippery spots on the floor and dangerous chemicals under lock and key.
Insist on Safety Equipment – Getting an elementary or tween-aged charge to wear a bicycle helmet alone can be a battle; convincing them to go whole-hog with the elbow and knee pads, wrist guards and other safety equipment can be near impossible. Though insisting on these safety measures might not make you the most popular nanny on the block amongst the kids you care for, it will keep them safe from major injury when they take the inevitable spill on their bike or skateboard.
Prepare Food in a Kid-Safe Manner – Healthline states that approximately 17,000 children are treated for choking and related injuries annually in the United States, and that more than 80% of those episodes occur in children under the age of four. In addition to helping little ones learn to chew thoroughly, take small bites, and eat slowly, nannies should also be sure to prepare food in such a way that there is less of a choking hazard in the first place. Hot dogs should be cut both width-wise and lengthwise, rather than served in small, round slices that can easily block a child’s airway, for instance.

In addition to taking the proper precautions to prevent common injury, nannies should also make a habit of checking for product recalls to ensure that toys and other items marketed for use by children are in proper working order and as safe as possible. The Consumer Product Safety Commission is the single most reliable source of recall information, which can be found on their website.

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9 Preventable Childhood Injuries

August 7, 2012

By Michelle LaRowe
Editor-in-Chief

Whenever I hear that a child has fallen out of a window or drowned in a hot tub, I can’t help but feel a mix of emotions: sorrow for the family who lost their child in such a tragic way and anger because a child’s death could have been prevented.

According to WakeMed Health & Hospitals, preventable injuries are the number one killer of children ages 14 and under in the United States. The North Carolina based healthcare system asserts that “90% of these injuries could be prevented if families took the simple steps necessary to protect their children.”

The Center for Disease Control reports that over 12,000 children died during the period of 2000-2006 as a result of an unintentional injury. Parents and nannies must work together to create a safe environment for children to explore and interact with their world. While all safety risks can’t be eliminated, they can certainly be minimized to reduce the likelihood of a child becoming victim to a preventable injury.

Whether you are a parent or a nanny, it’s vital that you are familiar with preventable injuries and take steps to protect the children in your care.

Preventable injuries include:

Crib Suffocation – Infants can become suffocated by crib bumpers, soft bedding, loose blankets, and cuddly toys. Removing bumpers, using a sleep sack, and putting the baby to bed with nothing else in the crib can help prevent suffocation.

Window Falls – Children can climb onto windowsills and fall out of open windows. Keeping windows closed and locked when not being used for ventilation, installing window guards with a quick release system, removing furniture to discourage climbing to look out of the window, and supervising children when in rooms and areas with windows can help to prevent window falls.

Drowning Deaths – From a few inches of water in a bathtub, to kiddie pools, to in ground swimming pools and large bodies of water, always practice touch supervision when children are in and around water. Never assume someone else is watching your child. Always stay within an arm’s reach to prevent drowning.

Heatstroke – Especially in young athletes, the risk of heatstroke is a real concern. Keeping children hydrated, having planned water breaks, reducing activity when the heat index is high, and cooling overheated children down quickly can help prevent heatstroke in children.

Hyperthermia – As of August 2012, 15 children have already died from hyperthermia as a result of being left in a vehicle, according to the San Francisco University the Department of Geo Sciences website. Preventing deaths from vehicle related hyperthermia is easy: never leave a child in a motor vehicle unattended. Parents and nannies should commit to always checking the backseat before leaving the vehicle.

Burns – “Keep your pot handles turned in” is more than just a catchy public service announcement tune; it’s a way to prevent accidental burns. Keeping hot liquids out of the reach of children, setting your water thermostat to 120 degrees Fahrenheit, and keeping kids away from cooking surfaces and grills can help prevent accidental burns.

Crashes – It’s estimated that 80%-90% or more of car seats are installed wrong or are used incorrectly. A correctly installed and used car seat can help prevent injury or death to children who are in a motor vehicle accident. Always have a certified passenger safety technician check your seat installation to be sure it is being installed and used correctly.

Poisoning – Access to harmful medications and chemicals can be prevented. You should always store medications and chemicals out of sight and out of the reach of children. Store medications in locked boxes and store cleaning supplies in locked cabinets. Many women carry around medication with them. Be sure to keep the pocketbooks of visitors out of reach to children to prevent accidental access.

Lawn Mower Accidents – Many dads consider having junior help mow the lawn a real bonding experience. According to the Children’s Trust of South Carolina, there are 68,000 injuries related to lawn mowers each year. From driving the ride-on mower to helping push the foot propelled mower, each year children die and suffer serious injuries that result in amputation as a result of helping to mow the lawn.

Parents and nannies should work together and be proactive in preventing unintentional injuries. Take regular assessment of the places the child spends the most time and ensure that the appropriate measures have been taken to create an age-appropriate area that promotes free exploration while minimizing the risk of preventable injuries.

Don’t let a child you love become a statistic. While not every serious injury can be prevented, many of them can.

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Expert Insights: Shellie Braeuner Nanny Turned Author

August 6, 2012

By Michelle LaRowe
Editor-in-Chief

I recently had the opportunity to catch up with friend and fellow nanny turned author, Shellie Braeuner. While nannying, Shellie penned The Great Dog Wash and entered it into the first Cheerios Spoonfuls of Stories Contest. She won the content and Simon and Schuster paired her with Robert Neubecker, award winning illustrator, and published her book. In 2013 a children’s memoir about Shellie’s fourth grade year, the year she was diagnosed with a serious vision problem, will be published by Woodley Books.

eNannySource.com: How did you become a nanny turned author?

Shellie: I have been a storyteller all my life. Even as a very young child, I would thumb through the newspaper or magazines and make up stories that would link all the pictures I saw. This habit was very handy as a nanny. I strictly limit television and radio when I am with a family. Instead we would play and when riding in the car, we would talk, share our day and tell stories. The children loved to pick out items we saw as we drove to add into the tales I wove for them.

When a family I worked for moved to Atlanta, I moved with them. The parents saw how many stories I created for their children and how the children enjoyed them. They both encouraged me to look into publication. They surprised me with airfare to one of my first writing conferences. I actively started learning about the business of children’s publishing. The family has been incredibly supportive of my writing and continues to be my biggest fans.

eNannysource.com: How did your nanny experience shape your writing?

Shellie: In general, spending time with the children highlighted the types of books that children really enjoyed. Many of the books the children requested over and over were not critically acclaimed or bestsellers. Instead, the books children love have something special that connects with the individual child.

For example, after her brothers had read and discarded Rodeo Ron and His Milkshake Cows, one two-year-old charge picked it up and fell in love. I probably read her that book 200 times. At eight, she still giggles when she reads it!

In 2008, while washing the family dog, the youngest child I cared for inspired a picture book that won the Cheerios Spoonfuls of Stories Contest. The Book, The Great Dog Wash, was purchased by Simon and Schuster and I dedicated it to the little one I cared for.

eNannySource.com: How important is it that nannies and parents read to children. What types of books?

Shellie: It’s vitally important that children are read to everyday. Study after study has shown how this impacts a child’s vocabulary and future school success. I also think it’s important that children are read to individually by people they love. I think this gives little ones a window into the wider world while they sit safely on the lap of someone they trust.

The choice of books is an individual one. In my experience there is no such thing as “girl books” or “boy books.” I even ignore many of the age suggestions. When I started reading a chapter of The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe to a six- year-old one summer, his three year old brother became interested and quickly stopped playing to join us. He so loved hearing a chapter of a “big book” every day that we made it through the Narnian Chronicles and the first three Harry Potter books before he started preschool.

eNannySource.com: What advice do you have for nannies and parents when it comes to choosing books?

Shellie: I often tell parents and nannies that they are the experts on the children entrusted to them. You know if your child enjoys drama, slapstick humor or adventure.

If you don’t know what type of book your child enjoys most, find out! The best way is to take your child to the library or your local bookstore. While I love online ordering for many things, it will never take the place of sifting through books with a child to find just the right story. Children need to see, touch and experience a book to really connect with it.

I would also add a word of caution about e-books and pre-school children. Many digital books for young children offer “enhancements” in the form of moving characters and cartoon sequences. These are designed to attract the child and keep them entertained. Unfortunately, they are also major distractions. They draw the child’s eye from the words to the moving picture. This may affect the child’s understanding of reading. Personally, I limit all screen time daily. This includes TV, computer, phone and tablets.

In addition, pediatricians have found that these enhanced ebooks stimulate the brain in the same way as TV and video games, whereas reading a traditional book relaxes the child and helps them focus. So your bedtime ritual should include a traditional book rather than a digital edition. In short, while an occasional ebook is fun, make sure your child has access to plenty of traditional books.

And always end the day reading a quiet book with the child you love.

You can learn more about Shellie on her website, http://www.shelliebraeuner.com/.

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The 10 Sins that Sabotage the Nanny / Employer Relationship

July 29, 2012

By Michelle LaRowe
Editor-in –Chief

For many parents, once they hire a nanny they enter into one of the most complex employer/employee relationships that exist. In addition to the personal dynamics that drive the parent and nanny relationship, the business aspect of the relationship can’t be ignored.

As parents adjust to their role as household employers, they should beware of committing the top 10 sins that sabotage nanny and employer relationships.

1. Forgetting to leave your nanny’s paycheck. At the end of a busy week it’s not surprising that many nanny employers check into weekend mode before their nanny’s workday ends. Forgetting to leave your nanny’s check is a faux pas that you don’t want to commit. When you fail to pay your nanny you’re sending the message that her work is not important. Consider using a household payroll company, like Breedlove & Associates or HomeWork Solutions, or enroll in direct deposit through your bank to ensure your nanny is always paid on time.

2. Adding additional duties. Prior to starting work, you’ve likely discussed the duties and responsibilities you expect your nanny to take on. Adding additional duties that were not agreed upon, like doing the family’s laundry or running errands, can pose a real problem to the nanny and employer relationship. If there are additional duties you’d like your nanny to take on, speak to her about them and adjust her compensation, if necessary.

3. Coming home late, without notice. It is common courtesy to let your nanny know if you’re running late. While it can be tempting to tell her you’ll be home in 15 minutes, don’t underestimate your time frame. Instead, pad it by 15 minutes and be sure to compensate her for any additional time she’s worked.

4. Flipping out about non childcare related concerns. It’s not atypical for a nanny employer’s feelings of frustration, guilt, or nanny envy to emerge in bizarre ways. Sometimes when a nanny doesn’t load the dishwasher the exact way her employer does or forgets to empty the lint trap in the dryer, an employer will overreact and harshly scold the nanny. Outbursts can be prevented by discussing issues as they arise and avoiding the urge to take out any unmerited negative feelings you’re having on your nanny.

5. Altering the schedule, without notice. While most nannies understand that a fair amount of flexibility is required on the job, changing your nanny’s schedule without discussion or notice is likely to cause problems. Working as a nanny can be a tiring and isolating job. Nannies need time to recharge, reconnect with friends and family, and fulfill their own personal and professional commitments and obligations.

6. Changing the rules, midgame. Once the relationship has become established, changing the governing principles of it can be a real challenge. For example, if your nanny has always been allowed to take your children on outings and two years later you decide you’d no longer like her to do that, expect resentment to follow. Before making game changes, have an open and honest discussion with your nanny.

7. Volunteering your nanny without asking. While many nanny employers innocently volunteer their nanny to drive the carpool or to care for their friend’s children during a “playdate,” it’s best to discuss these additional responsibilities with your nanny first. While most nannies are glad to accommodate such requests, they could have real concerns that need to be addressed prior. Concerns could include having the appropriate car seats for all of the children or meeting the children prior to having responsibility for them.

8. Neglecting the work agreement. If you’ve established a work agreement with your nanny, adhering to it always best. If you’re unable to keep a commitment, perhaps honoring a specific holiday you’ve promised her off, discuss the possibility of altering the agreement and be ready to make a fair compromise and to offer any necessary additional compensation. It’s also a good idea to have a backup plan in place and to let your nanny know that you’re prepared to make alternative arrangements, but wanted to explore the possibility of altering the agreement with her first. Many nannies will agree to help you out, sacrificing their own plans or commitments to do so. Having a backup plan can take the pressure to say yes off.

9. Failing to sign an updated agreement. After your nanny completes her first year of service, signing an updated agreement is more than a mere formality. Doing so allows you to revisit the agreement, to make mutually agreeable adjustments, and to have an annual review. The typical nanny annual salary increase is 3-7% or more.

10. Ignoring your nanny. Open communication is the key to a successful nanny and employer relationship. Facilitate an environment that welcomes and respects your nanny’s advice, guidance, questions, compliments, and concerns. Remember, many nannies have years of childcare experience under their belt and often have solid strategies that can solve many of the most common parenting dilemmas.

While one of the most complex relationships, the nanny and employer relationship can also be one of the most rewarding. Mutual respect and open communication will pave the way for a long-term and successful working relationship.

Posted in Nanny Employer | Leave a comment

Top Positive Discipline Tools

July 18, 2012

Positive Discipline is an approach to discipline that is designed to teach children to become responsible, respectful, and resourceful members of their families and communities. It’s based on the popular book, Positive Discipline, by Dr. Jane Nelsen.

Positive Discipline offers effective tools for parents, teachers, nannies, and anyone else who wants to teach life skills to children in a respectful and encouraging way. Here are a few of Positive Discipline’s more popular discipline tools:

Take time for training. Before expecting your child to act in a certain way, take the time to offer training. Training is communicating your expectations clearly and respectfully and giving your child the opportunity to practice and learn the new skills. If your child is younger than 6-years old, the best way to offer training is by doing tasks with him. If you want your toddler to pick up his toys after playing with them, pick up the toys together. Detail what you’re doing while you’re doing it (e.g. we’re putting the trucks in the wheels bin; we’re putting the crayons into the craft cabinet). This helps your child make the connection between your expectations, your actions, and the end result. If your child is over age 6, it’s helpful to break the job down into smaller, more manageable tasks. This helps him avoid being overwhelmed and gives him a workable to-do list.

Give limited choices that you can live with. Choices are one of the simplest and most effective tools in your parenting toolbox. The key is to only offer choices that you’re comfortable with.

You can offer choices around things you want your child to have power over, but you also need to make sure he makes an appropriate and safe choice. Clothes, food, and activities are all great examples of times when you can empower your child through choices. For example you can ask, “Would you like to wear your rain coat, your spring jacket, or your poncho to school today?” when you’re struggling with your child about what to wear, or “Would you like apple slices, watermelon, or grapes for lunch today?” rather than simply asking “What kind of fruit do you want?”

So what about when your child has to do something and there’s not an obvious choice? You can still allow your child to choose how or when something happens. For example, if you need to get a dawdling child to put his shoes on, you can ask, “Would you like to put your shoes on by yourself or would you like me to help you do it?” If you need your child to clean his room before bedtime, you can ask, “Do you want to clean your room now or when we get back from the park?”

Use positive time outs. When kids are having a meltdown or are not taking the right action in a difficult situation, many parents turn to the traditional time out. Positive Discipline suggests you take a different approach and instead give your child a positive time out. Jane Nelsen writes, “A positive time out can help children learn many important life skills, such as the importance of taking time to calm down until they can think more clearly and act more thoughtfully.” Positive time outs helps your child think through how his behavior affects other people and learn to accept responsibility and make amends for hurting others.

Create routines. Outlining routines means you can make the decision about how to do something one time and then simply refer back to the routine in future conversations. Because your child has a voice in developing the routine, he’s much more likely to corporate with you when the issue comes up. So when your child complains that he doesn’t want to brush his teeth before reading the next chapter in his bedtime story, you can simply refer back to the bedtime routine which clearly outlines the things we do before going to bed.

Hold regular family meetings. Children naturally want to contribute. That’s why they’re such great helpers. Family meetings are the perfect opportunity to let your child contribute to your family in a meaningful way that makes him feel like an important and valued part of the team. These meetings give each family member the chance to share problems or challenges they’re facing. You can talk with your child about your frustration with how long it takes him to get ready in the morning, your child can talk with you about his anger at being nagged, and then you can work together to find a solution that works for both of you.

Positive Discipline offers great discipline tools for parents and nannies alike. If you’re looking for respectful ways to teach your child valuable life skills, check out the entire Positive Discipline series.

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Expert Insights: Questions and Answers with Tonya Sakowicz

July 14, 2012

By Michelle LaRowe
Editor-in-Chief

I am always thrilled when I can call on my peers to share insight and information about childcare and the nanny world. Today is no different. Recently, I had a had a chance to catch up with Tonya Sakowicz, nanny turned mom, turned newborn care specialist, turned owner of Baby Go Green, a company dedicated to helping new moms and moms-to-be lower their toxic exposure. As a credentialed nanny and certified eco-maternity consultant, greenproofer and green birth educator, Tonya provides parents and parents-to-be with personalized consultations and recommendations to help them make healthier choices for their families.

eNannySource: What does going green mean with regards to baby care?

Tonya: Going green in regards to baby care is looking at a product and evaluating if it has been produced from non-toxic ingredients and/or in an earth-friendly manner. This is really dependent on the goals of the parents. For some parents, they are concerned with the environment. They are concerned with how the things they use are produced and how they impact the world around them. These parents, for example, may only products that are ‘fair-trade’. But for most parents, their greater concern is for whether or not the products used on and around their baby are organic and non-toxic. Since so many things that are available and marketed for the care of babies, particularly in the US, contain ingredients that are toxic and are linked to endocrine disruption, neurological disorders and cancer, parents are right to be aware and concerned about the products they use.

eNannySource: What are the most toxic things in our baby’s environment?

Tonya: Nearly everything in our environment *can* be toxic, but one of the first two things we consider is air quality and products for consumption because these are things going INTO our babies bodies and because they are so small, their hearts beat faster and they breathe faster than adults, their exposure risk is much greater. So we look at the air they breathe in the home and in their nursery and we look at what things are going into their mouth–either via mother’s milk, formula or foods, depending on their age. Directly related are those things that are regularly put into or can be put into babies’ mouths, since that is what babies do with nearly everything, right?

eNannySource: Right. So what are the easiest things parents and caregivers can change?

Tonya: Some of the simplest things you can do to make your life greener is to improve air quality (open a window!), reduce what you bring in from the outside (take off your shoes at the door–your shoes carry toxins, animal feces, pesticides and other contaminants into the home) and consider the foods you eat (switching to organic dairy alone makes a HUGE difference; add in organic produce by following the www.ewg.org ‘dirty dozen’ recommendations and you are making a tremendous impact on the amount of toxins you and your baby are exposed to).

eNannySource: What about fruits and first foods?

Tonya: Look up the “dirty dozen” list provided by the Environmental Working Group–www.ewg.org– and at the very least, keep those foods organic to minimize toxic exposure. Ideally, of course, as much of your food (dairy, produce, meats, grains and eggs) would be organic, but that is not always practical or affordable for everyone. I always tell my clients if you can only make one change, make it dairy. However, for babies, I also strongly recommend organic produce for their first foods–particularly those on the “dirty dozen” list, since many baby “firsts” (like apples) are on that list.

Remember that going green does not have to be an all or nothing proposition– you do not have to turn into a ‘crunchy’ mom (or nanny) to make a significant impact. Even small changes make a big difference in reducing a child’s toxic exposure and those changes are worth the effort. Each family and nanny should evaluate what their personal goals are, seek help if they need it and then move forward towards those goals, one practical step at a time.

Parents and nannies are always welcome to contact Tonya at tonya@babygogreeninc.com for a personal consultation.

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Expert Insights: Questions and Answers with Stephanie Breedlove

July 8, 2012

By Michelle LaRowe
Editor-in-Chief

Recently, I had a chance to ask Stephanie Breedlove, founder and partner of Breedlove & Associates, which is a payroll, tax & HR firm dedicated exclusively to serving the household employment industry, some questions about retirement savings for nannies. She shared with me some great insight into a new savings solution they’ve discovered. Here’s how our interview went.

eNannySource: For years nannies have struggled to find retirement savings options. Can you tell us about what you’ve found out?

Stephanie: There are a lot of retirement savings vehicles available, but most of the tax-advantaged plans are extremely difficult to administer, are expensive, or both. Families don’t have time to administer complex retirement plans. And the cost to have someone else do the administrative work for them (usually $200-$500 per year plus investment management fees) is money that should be going – directly or indirectly – into the nanny’s retirement account. After a lot of research, we found a solution that we believe fits the nanny industry extremely well. It’s a Roth IRA from Vanguard. Vanguard is among the most respected financial institutions in the country. They have created a simple retirement product that has no start-up costs, no annual administrative fees, and an investment management fee of only 0.2%, which is one-fifth the national average. The Roth IRA is owned and controlled by the employee so it’s not dependent on an employer. It uses after-tax dollars so the employee or employer may contribute to the account – up to $5,000 per year ($6,000 per year if the employee is 50 or older). Then all growth is tax-free and there are no taxes upon withdrawal at retirement age. The cost, flexibility, portability, and control are all perfect for the nanny industry – giving nannies the ability to supplement their retirement income if they desire without any cost or administrative burdens.

eNannySource: Why is it important for nannies to plan for retirement?

Stephanie: Social Security and Medicare taxes (paid by employees and matched by their employers) provide a critically-important base of income and medical insurance for retirees. But it’s really just a base. For most Americans, it will cover the necessities – but it won’t afford the lifestyle that most people want in their golden years. That’s where tax-advantaged retirement savings plans come in. They make it possible to amass a significant nest egg – especially if you start early. The compounding effect of tax-free growth over many years means you don’t have to sacrifice a lot of current earnings to have significant savings 25-30 years down the road. The latest stats show that 10,000 people retire each day. About 9,999 wish they’d saved more and started earlier!

eNannySource: How can nannies present the opportunity to families they work for?

Stephanie: Nannies can let their families know that they want to save for retirement. The family will understand since they’re almost certainly doing the same thing. If they have apprehension, it will probably be in not knowing what kind of plan makes sense, how to set it up, how to administer it, how it should be handled with payroll, what happens if you leave and how much will it cost. The beauty of the Roth IRA from Vanguard is it takes all those questions/burdens off of the family’s plate. The employee can set up the account and manage the investments on their own with no work or cost for the family. If the employer wants to contribute, they can. But the account is not contingent upon the employer making contributions. The employee can take bonus dollars or any other after-tax income/savings and do it themselves.

eNannySource: Do you think retirement contributions will become a standard benefit for nannies?

Stephanie: We think it will become more and more common. People are living longer and need larger retirement nest eggs. In addition, there will be a lot of media attention on the possibility of Social Security and Medicare benefit reductions in the future – all the discussion will raise awareness and prompt more people to take matters in their own hands and save for retirement themselves. Those socio-economic factors, combined with the ever-increasing professionalism of the nanny industry, will encourage more employees and employers to discuss retirement benefits as a part of the compensation package.

eNannySource:com: What else should we know about the Vanguard Roth IRA?

Stepahnie: Breedlove & Associates decided to look for a better retirement savings solution simply as a service to the nanny industry. We do not derive any commissions or income of any kind from Vanguard – we want to make sure all the money goes directly into each nanny’s account so their golden years will be more golden.

If you are interested in the tax-advantaged retirement savings plans or the Vanguard solution, please don’t hesitate to call.

Nannies interested in the Vanguard Roth IRA can contact Vanguard directly by visiting Vanguard Online or by calling 800-551-8631.

Stephanie Breedlove has an undergraduate degree in Finance from the University of Texas and an MBA with a concentration in accounting. She developed an expertise in accounting and information technology during her 6 years with Accenture before founding Breedlove & Associates in 1992, an entrepreneurial company born from her own frustration with paying her nanny professionally. Over the years, Stephanie and Breedlove & Associates have helped over 22,000 families with their No-Work, No-Worry service. www.myBreedlove.com

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