Archive for February, 2012

Getting Young Children to Eat by Bill Corbett

Tuesday, February 28th, 2012

Sometimes kids won’t eat because it may be an extension of the power struggle we experience with them in other areas.  They feel overpowered, bossed around, or simply small, during the majority of the day, and then discover at mealtime that YOU now want something from them.  Others just don’t like trying something new and others may have real dislikes for tasting or eating certain foods.  Or perhaps they’re just not hungry because they were allowed to snack too much earlier in the day.  It is also common for children to become run down and tired by the evening meal, or pepped up and on their second wind.

Taking measures to stop the chaos begins with recognizing what may be going on with you over this conflict.  Are you recreating the control your parents had over you in forcing you to eat?  Depending on the time and conditions of your childhood, food may not have been as plentiful as it is now and your parents were trained by their parents to eat when it was available.  Some parents overreact to a child not eating, feeling a sense of fear that if they don’t get the child to eat; their child may starve and develop eating disorders.  In actuality, the parent’s over reaction can create eating disorders.  Avoid forcing a child to eat what is prepared because it will drive them further away from cooperating or being interested in eating in a healthy manner.  The parents manner of behavior during an emotionally charged moment can make a child’s challenging behavior even worse.

As a solution to getting the kids to eat, I suggest parents establish a readily available alternative to whatever is being served and allow the children to have the power to choose between the prepared meal and this new established alternative.  The established alternative must not be anything sweet and must not require special preparation.  When my kids were little, our established alternative was a cup of dry Cheerios; the kids could select what Mom or Dad prepared for dinner or a cup of Cheerios.  For some of our children, the alternative was the immediate selection in the beginning.  As most parents do, I worried about them getting the proper nutrition if all they ever ate for dinner was Cheerios.  But because we were consistent with our rules and boundaries, the Cheerios soon grew old and we found the children more willing to eat the prepared, hot food.  Then as they grew older, we added a few more alternatives such as crackers and eventually, a PB&J sandwich.  We never allowed sugared cereals or cookies, and the PB&J wasn’t allowed until they were old enough to prepare it themselves.  The object of the alternative is to give them a choice at meal time and make it something very simple to fix that they can eventually fix themselves.

Here are a few words of wisdom regarding restaurants… they were made for adults!  If you are struggling with getting the kids to behave when the family is eating out, do one of the following: go to a “kid-friendly” restaurant that caters to children, bring a bag of activities to keep them busy and focused, or get a baby sitter and eat out alone occasionally as a couple.  My granddaughter, like her mother, was always a challenge at restaurants.  She talked loud, got up and down from her chair constantly, picked fights with her brother, threw her menu on the floor to see if anyone would pick it up, and leaned over the walls and planters to talk to other patrons.  Frequently she would shout at the wait staff walking by, saying, “Excuse me, I need a new red crayon.  Mine broke!”

One final thought about kids and eating; keep portions small.  Overloading a child’s plate with food can be overwhelming to them.  Give them very small amounts of all the items prepared for the meal and allow them to ask for more.  Putting a full plate of food in front of your child could be like saying “go explore space!”

Bill Corbett is the author of the book “Love, Limits, & Lessons,” and the executive director of Cooperative Kids.  He produces and host a TV show for parents called, CREATING COOPERATVIE KIDS, and you can watch it online at www.TheParentingShow.tv.  He has three grown children, two grandchildren, and lives with his wife and 14-year-old step daughter Olivia.  You can visit his Web site www.CooperativeKids.com  for more information and parenting advice.

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10 Good Ways to Stretch Your Diaper Budget

Wednesday, February 22nd, 2012

Keeping your baby in diapers can be a huge strain on the household budget. Families spend hundreds of dollars on diapers for one child in a year. If a family has more than one child in diapers at one time, the budget for diapers can end up being more than your household energy bills. It is worth the time to find ways to keep the diaper budget under control. Here are 10 good ways to stretch your diaper budget.

  1. Coupons – Clip those coupons from the paper, have friends and family members save diaper coupons for you and don’t neglect the coupon forums online. In addition, most brand name diaper companies will send you coupons and special deals when you sign up for their newsletters online.
  2. Sales – Pairing your coupons with diaper sales can really bring the prices down on these weekly necessities. Keep your eyes out for sales that match up with your coupons.
  3. Bulk buying – Buying your diapers in bulk from warehouse stores like Sam’s Club or Costco can bring you some savings. There also some bulk shopping opportunities online. Always be sure to determine your cost per diaper including shipping and/or membership fees. Buying in bulk isn’t always a big savings.
  4. Don’t over buy – The danger of buying in bulk can be that you over buy for your child’s current size and then have leftover diapers that they have outgrown. If it does happen, you may be able to find another parent who will happily buy them from you, but it is better to estimate your need as accurately as possible.
  5. Store brands – Don’t assume that cheaper store brand diapers are of a lesser quality than the brand name diapers. Take a chance and try a few different types. You may find one that works perfectly well for your child without the expensive brand name price.
  6. Proper fit – One of the keys to a good diaper is a proper fit so that the diaper doesn’t leak. Find the brand that fits your baby’s bottom best will mean changing diapers when the diapers are wet and not the clothes.
  7. Smallest size – The larger the diaper size, the more you will be spending per diaper. Put off the jump to a bigger size until you absolutely have to and save a few dollars by waiting.
  8. Cloth diapers – A surprising amount of parents are returning to cloth diapers these days. There is a very definite savings in choosing cloth over disposable, if you are willing to sacrifice the convenience. There are many different options available for cloth diapers on today’s market as well. Old fashioned diaper pins and plastic pants are no longer your only options and diapers come in a variety of styles and thicknesses as well.
  9. Diaper gifts – For baby showers and other gift times, a request for diapers only can provide you with a long time supply and big savings on an item of necessity rather than extra niceties.
  10. Diaper coop – Families who work together on bulk shopping for diapers can find many more savings opportunities than one family working alone; that is the idea behind diaper coops.

There isn’t one perfect solution, but if you combine a few of these money saving tips together, you’re bound to keep your diaper budget under control.

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10 Common Reasons Kids Should Say Thank You

Thursday, February 16th, 2012

Saying thank you is second nature to most people and we tend to take this simple expression of gratitude for granted. However, because it’s so common, a thank you left unsaid becomes a glaring omission. Parents who don’t teach their children to say thank you are doing a great disservice to their children. People think kids who don’t say thanks are just plain rude. Here are 10 common reasons you should teach your kids to say thank you.

  1. Manners – First of all, it’s just good manners to say thank you. Kids need to learn socially acceptable behavior early and have it reinforced throughout their childhood. Thank you should be two of the first words a child learns to say, after please of course.
  2. Respect – Saying thank you shows respect, especially to adults. Parents should teach their children that not showing gratitude is disrespectful and frowned upon by others.
  3. Show gratitude – Of course, a simple thanks shows gratitude and lets the giver know the gift is appreciated. Even the smallest gesture should be acknowledged when it’s given freely.
  4. Polite – Kids should learn how to be polite to others and saying thank you is part of that process. First you say please, then thank you, follow up with a your welcome and repeat often.
  5. Appreciated – People really appreciate it when kids say thank you and they notice when it’s omitted. When children are unable to express their appreciation for a gift in person, they should be encouraged to send thank you notes.
  6. Etiquette – Saying thank you is just part of proper etiquette that all parents should teach their children. They need to know what’s expected of them to get along in polite society and improper etiquette won’t get them very far.
  7. Good example – Kids who can give an unprompted thank you when it’s required are a good example to their peers and siblings. Politeness is contagious and should be generously shared as often as possible.
  8. Reflects well – When people observe children saying a polite thank you, it reflects well on their parents. On the other hand, when that simple gesture is omitted, it really reflects poorly. Most adults will wonder who’s raising this rude child.
  9. Shows maturity – Polite children appear much more mature than their rude peers and their more likely to gain respect from adults. Kids should be encouraged to say thank you by letting them know it’s the grown up thing to do.
  10. Good habits – Saying please and thank you are just good habits for kids to get into and it should become second nature to them. Repeated often enough, eventually they won’t need to be reminded.

When teaching your children to say please and thank you, be sure to lead by example. Kids learn best by imitation, so make a point of saying thank you to them as well. Since the words thank you can be difficult for toddlers who are just learning to talk, learning it in sign language first can be easier for them. It may become tedious to continually remind kids to say thank you, but eventually it will become second nature to them and they won’t need to be reminded. Giving your children a strong foundation in good manners will serve them well throughout their lives.

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Avoiding Chicken Nugget Syndrome: How to hire a nanny who matches your parenting philosophy

Wednesday, February 15th, 2012

British teenager Stacey Irvine has become a global tabloid sensation for her unusual eating habits. (Source: The Daily Mail)

This story really shouldn’t be that surprising to any parent or nanny who’s ever battled with a fussy toddler at the dinner table: a 17-year-old British girl has grown up eating a daily diet consisting primarily of fried chicken nuggets and French fries, or as the Brits call them, “chips.”

According to The Daily Mail, young Stacey Irvine was recently hospitalized as a result of breathing problems and anemia related to her extremely unbalanced nutritional intake. The girl, who is now being treated with injections of vitamins, told the media that she has never eaten or even tasted a single vegetable in her entire life.

How that contrasts with my own upbringing of not being able to leave the dinner table before finishing my broccoli!

In a rather ridiculous subtext to the malnutrition story, the Daily Mail asserts that the teenager “struggles” to find space for the Happy Meal toys she has accumulated over the years.

The byproduct of a chicken nugget habit is an avalanche of fast food toys! (Source: The Daily Mail)

Sensationalism aside, the chicken nugget story raises some basic questions about the role of parenting and nannying in general.  This girl would not have had experienced these kind of nutritional deficiencies if she had been guided by responsible caretakers.  Someone enabled this kind of behavior and allowed it to continue for years before it spun out of control.

Someone was being a horrible role model.

No one wants their child to grow up with avoidable health problems. Let’s say you are a responsible parent who fully realizes that parenting is a 24/7 commitment that never takes a break. And let’s say that you are searching for the perfect nanny or au pair who will support your values and enforce your wishes.

How do you find suitable candidates and know who you should hire?

Luckily, you’re not alone.  If you’re reading this, you’ve already found the most affordable alternative to a pricey nanny agency and one that doesn’t sacrifice the quality of your candidate pool.

Our Safe Nanny Hiring Kit, included in all our memberships, is the best way to ensure that you hire another you!

In addition to providing you with a nanny application, a thorough background check and a contract form approved by the International Nanny Association, we guide you through the initial phone interview screening process, the in-person interviews, and the hiring process.

It’s probably safe to say that you wouldn’t want to hire the Chicken Nugget Girl, although she probably would be fantastic in getting your kids to put their toys away!

 

 

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10 Tips for Disciplining Kids in Front of their Friends

Tuesday, February 7th, 2012

There are times when parents are forced to discipline their children in the presence of others, which can be quite tricky. This delicate situation should be handled as such, in order to avoid damaging a child’s self esteem and leading to taunts from the observing classmates. These ten tips can strike a balance between effectiveness and overly harsh when your child is acting out in public.

  1. Acknowledge the Behavior – Immediately acknowledging inappropriate or naughty behavior in a calm voice lets your child know that you are aware of the situation, and that their behavior isn’t acceptable.
  2. Pull Them Aside – If at all possible, separate your child from his or her friends before doing anything more than acknowledgment; explaining to them in a one-on-one setting that there are repercussions for making poor behavioral choices is much more constructive than berating the child in the presence of their peers.
  3. Inform Them of Impending Discussions – When it’s not possible to pull your child aside, simply inform them that you’re aware of what they’ve done, and will be discussing it and the resulting disciplinary action when you get home.
  4. Keep Your Voice Down- Never shout at your child, especially in a group setting. In addition to creating the impression that you’re an angry parent, it also embarrasses your child by attracting more attention to the situation.
  5. Avoid Humiliation – Belittling a child is never acceptable, but it’s certainly not the right track when they’re surrounded by others. It is possible to be respectful of your children while expressing disapproval for their actions, and it’s the best possible route in public.
  6. Don’t Talk About Behavior While Driving – If you’re at an event or away from home when the behavioral problem occurs, avoid the temptation to discuss it on the way home. In addition to the risk of distraction-related accidents, the trip will give you time to sort your thoughts and cool off.
  7. Don’t Make Threats – Threatening your child with a punishment in front of their friends definitely falls under the “Humiliation” header for them, but it can cause other parents to become suspicious.
  8. Avoid Commenting on Their Friends’ Behavior – Even if you know that one of your child’s friends was the ringleader, it’s best not to engage that child or attempt to scold them. Emphasizing the importance of making the right choice when others aren’t is the key to instilling a sense of self in your child.
  9. Don’t Be Critical – Making criticizing remarks about your child’s behavior or abilities is hurtful anytime, but that pain is compounded if the remarks are overheard. Choose your words carefully, and avoid “You always…” and “You never…” statements.
  10. Keep It Short and Simple – Long lectures will leave your child’s mind wandering and can also create an opportunity for their peers to tease them later.

Regardless of your parenting style, disciplining a child in public is bound to be awkward for both parties. The most important thing to keep in mind is that humiliating your child will only lead to more behavioral problems; try to solve things as quickly and constructively as possible.

Posted in Child Care Tips, Nanny Discipline | 1 Comment »

10 Real Reasons Kids Fight Taking a Bath

Wednesday, February 1st, 2012

Do you have a child that hates taking a bath?  What do you think the reason is?  Sometimes adults feel like kids are just being difficult when they refuse to take a bath and that there isn’t a real reason behind why they don’t want to take a bath.  However, sometimes there are real reasons why they resist.  Check out 10 real reasons kids fight taking a bath.

  1. Fear of water: Some kids could have a fear of water.  It does happen and when kids get older their ability to voice their fears improves.  Maybe they choked on some water in a baby pool once or they knew someone who drowned.  That could have caused them to fear water and wonder if the same thing could happen to them.
  2. Painful rash: Kids can get a nasty case of diaper rash or variations on diaper rash that are extremely painful when they hit warm water.  Even older kids could get a rash brought on by an allergy to laundry detergent.  If parents always send them in to shower by themselves then there is no way that they would know what is going on.  Older kids might be embarrassed to say something about a rash.  Rashes are sometimes brought on by medications and it could be serious so look deeper into why your child doesn’t want to take a bath.
  3. Fear of going to bed: Some kids suffer from night terrors or nightmares and have a fear of going to bed.  Many bedtime routines include taking a bath so it’s not unusual for a child to think that if they can prolong the bath that they will prolong having to go to bed.  Getting to the bottom of their fears is important so you can give them the help they need.
  4. Get too cold afterwards: It’s not fun to get out of a nice warm bath and get really cold.  It’s possible that your child is really sensitive to temperature changes and just dreads getting into hot water only to get out and be really cold.  Helping kids by bringing a heater into the bathroom or drying them off quickly afterwards may help them not dislike the experience so much.
  5. Don’t like getting hair pulled afterwards:  My daughter has long hair that tends to get really tangled when she washes it.  She has actually told me that she hates taking a shower because she doesn’t want to get her hair pulled.  While we try our best not to pull her hair we have added a spray-in detangler to her routine so she doesn’t hate it quite so much.
  6. Hate cleaning the bathroom up: Both my kids hate that they have to pick up towels and wipe up any water on the floor when they get done with a shower.  They also have to pick up their clothes and take them back to their room.  For some reason they hate doing this and this will cause them to fight taking a bath.
  7. Hate the blow dryer: Some girls hate the blow dryer.  The sound is loud and it blows their hair in their face which they don’t like.  Going to bed with wet hair or going out in the cold with wet hair isn’t a good option so sometimes blow drying is a necessary evil.  To avoid this fight you might move the bath time from bedtime to maybe the morning or after school when there’s more time to let it dry naturally.
  8. Don’t want to miss out: If you have particularly social kids or you are doing something really fun as a family it can be hard for a child to leave the fun to go take a shower or bath.  Try to let your child know that you will pause the movie or the game until they get back.  To avoid this you might change bath time to after school when there isn’t so much family fun going on.
  9. Afraid of falling in the shower: Children can get a little careless in the bathtub and maybe they have slipped or fallen in the past.  Having a fear of falling or getting hurt is actually pretty common.  To help with this you might put rubber grips on the bottom of the bathtub to give them better traction.
  10. Hate getting sprayed in the eyes: Once a child reaches a certain age they are better off taking a shower versus a bath.  Girls with long hair have a hard time washing their hair by themselves in a bath so a shower works out better.  However, they are still pretty short and may hate having the spray get in their eyes.  A solution for this is a shower head that attaches over the faucet and can be suction cupped to the wall at whatever is an appropriate height for your child.

 

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