Is your nanny consistently forgetting to pick up after she prepares meals in the kitchen? Does the children’s laundry seem to get forgotten? Do you feel like your nanny could spend more time engaging, rather than entertaining the kids? If so, she may need some serious motivation to pick up the slack.

While salary increases and bonuses are always a surefire way to encourage exceptional care, there are other things you can do that won’t cost you a dime and will benefit you and your family in the long run.

Be flexible. As much as you may not like to admit it, your nanny has a life that is completely her own. She has family, friends, personal and professional commitments that she too must devote her time and energy to. If your nanny knows you’re willing to be flexible, she’ll be more willing to schedule even the most necessary appointments around your schedule. When employers are inflexible, their nannies often end up feeling like getting time off isn’t option, so they neglect their own needs, which then results in them calling into work at the last minute to meet them out of necessity. Allowing your nanny time off to make appointments or tend to personal needs goes a long way in motivating your nanny to provide outstanding childcare.  When she feels that you are flexible, she’ll be more willing to be flexible as well.

Allow some freedom. No one really enjoys being micromanaged. While you’ll want to create a framework for your nanny to successfully follow your childrearing preferences and practices, give her a little leeway when it makes sense. Although you may want your child to play outdoors each day, perhaps you can leave it to your nanny to decide whether to take your child to the park, the playground, for a walk or in the backyard. When she feels like she’s trusted, she’ll be motivated to keep that trust.

Let her make a difference.  Give your nanny the authority to make a difference in the lives of your children and your family. Let her organize the children’s playroom or help pick out new toys and clothes for the kids. Encourage her to suggest books that they should add to the family library. Listen to her advice and suggestions when it comes to caring for your child. While you don’t have to do everything she says, simply hearing her out will make her feel like she’s respected. When she feels respected, she’ll be motivated to keep that respect.

Offer positive, purposeful praise.  Everyone likes to hear when their employer thinks they’ve done a good job. Making a positive comment about how your nanny comforted your child when he fell, how she got him to try a new food or how she helped him learn to share will boost her morale and confidence and let her know she’s appreciated. Take the opportunity to communicate with your nanny when you’ve seen her do something well. When she feels valued, she’ll be motivated to bring value.

Managing a household employee isn’t easy. Trying to conduct a business relationship in an intimate setting can be tough.  Building a relationship with your nanny that allows for continual motivation can help to not only increase the quality of care your child receives, it can also bring out the best in your employee and help deepen her dedication and commitment to her job.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year again – it’s Christmastime! Along with all the friends and family you have on your gift giving list, you’re also probably trying to figure out how much to tip your nanny. You want to say thanks for the wonderful care she provides, for the extra things she does without being asked, and for all the days when she goes above and beyond to make your life a little easier. But how much is enough?

The industry standard for a Christmas tip or bonus is one to two weeks’ salary. However, there are several factors that affect what’s right for your particular situation. Here are some things to think about when deciding on an amount.

Your budget. For some families, one or two weeks’ salary is simply not in the budget. If it’s a stretch financially for you to even afford a nanny, it’s probably next to impossible to add on several hundred dollars to her end of year check. The good news is your nanny probably understands your financial limitations. Especially if she knows you sacrifice throughout the year to pay her a fair and competitive wage. In those situations, it’s a good bet your nanny doesn’t expect a big tip and will be happy to receive a little extra cash during the holiday season. It really is the thought behind the gift that matters. The important thing is to show your caregiver that you appreciate all her hard work and to say thank you for the great care she gives to your child.

She’s a new employee. If you’ve recently hired your nanny, you’re not expected to give her a hefty tip at the end of the year. She understands that she’s new to the job and hasn’t put the time in to earn an extra week’s salary. However you want to make sure that you still give her a gift or bonus that says you appreciate the work she does. A $50 gift card to her favorite store or $100 cash bonus is always a welcome surprise.

She’s a long time employee. If your nanny has been with your family for several years, the amount she receives will be higher than average. Not only are you saying thank you for the great work she does, you’re letting her know how much you appreciate and value her loyalty and dedication to your family. This is especially true for long term nannies that aren’t receiving regular raises because they’ve hit the hourly rate ceiling. The end of the year bonus is the perfect way to provide a financial reward for a job well done.

Her regular pay rate. Generally, nannies that make an average or above average hourly rate or salary receive a larger end of year tip than those that make a below average hourly rate or salary. This is a reflection of what the family is able to afford rather than the nanny’s value to the family or her performance. The idea is that families that can afford to pay their nannies competitively throughout the year can also afford to provide the standard bonus of one to two weeks’ salary. Of course, just because they can afford to provide it doesn’t mean they have to. Ultimately the bonus is a way of saying thank you. Families that do provide a generous tip do so because they genuinely recognize the great work their nanny is doing.

Her compensation package. If you’re providing your nanny with valuable benefits throughout the year, like health insurance, extra paid time off, or professional development dollars, you can give a much smaller end of year tip. Nannies recognize the extra costs involved in offering those benefits and are happy with the trade-off. Again, you still want to offer a small $50 or $100 gift card or cash gift as a thank you.

Other bonuses she receives during the year. Some nannies receive a bonus on their nannyiversary, the yearly anniversary of their hire date. If you celebrate that date with your nanny and give her a bonus each year on her nannyiversary, your end of year tip need only be a small holiday or cash gift – something to let your nanny know you’re thinking of her and appreciate having her in your life.

The end of year tip or bonus for your nanny is a perfect way to say thank you to an important person in your life. A perfect companion to a gift is a card with a heartfelt message inside that lets her know you value all she does for your family.

In a perfect world, nannies would stay with their work family until the children outgrew the need for childcare, and parents and nannies would plan for the nanny’s departure as they would for any other essential childhood milestone.

But the world isn’t perfect and nannies come and go. While it’s typically more convenient for the family when the nanny leaves on their terms, this simply isn’t always the case. Whether a nanny is getting married, is expecting a child of her own, or wants to move onto greener pastures, nannies can and do give notice that they’ll be leaving their posts. When this notice comes, savvy-employers need to have an action plan in place.

Reviewing your nanny work agreement is the first thing you’ll want to do if your nanny gives notice. If crafted thoroughly, your agreement should include a section on termination of the working relationship. This section may outline what the nanny agreed to in terms of how much notice she’ll give, how any unused accrued paid time off will be handled, and what steps she needs to take, if any, prior to her last day of employment. It may also include employer options, such as providing severance pay rather than having the nanny work out her notice.

If no written agreement has been made, now is the time to hammer out the details surrounding your nanny’s departure. If you’ve made a verbal agreement, put it into writing so that there are no misunderstandings with regards to expectations.

After you’ve solidified the logistics of when your nanny’s last day of work will be, you’ll want to develop an end plan. Your end plan may vary depending on how long your nanny has been with your family, if she lives in or lives out, and the circumstances surrounding her decision to move on. While it can be tempting to keep the ending short and sweet, this is a time where you’ll want to put your children’s best interest above your own. If your nanny has been with you several years, phasing her out by cutting down her work hours may be a good choice.  Now is also the time to discuss when you’ll tell the children their nanny is leaving and how much information you’ll share. It’s important that the parents and nanny are on the same page so the children don’t feel like the nanny leaving is anyone’s fault.

If you plan to allow your children to continue their relationship with their nanny, you’ll want to discuss that as well. This way everyone is prepared to answer when the children ask when they’ll see their nanny again.

Parents will also need to remember to collect essential items like house keys, credit cards, unused petty cash, insurance cards and any other items your nanny has accumulated for her work use prior to or on the nanny’s last day.

When you’ll begin your next nanny search will depend on how much notice your nanny has given and your confidence level in being able to work through her notice successfully. Sometimes, after a nanny has given notice, the parents want to terminate the relationship on the spot. For practical, as well as for their children’s emotional attachment to the nanny, this isn’t always the best course of action. Ideally, you’ll want to give yourself two to eight weeks to secure a new nanny.  Nannies who have been with their family for years and who are leaving on good terms may even be willing and eager to help you in your new nanny search.

While it can be difficult to set any negative emotions aside, ending your working relationship on a good note is best practice. If your nanny has cared for your children for several years, you’ll want to honor the dedication and contributions she’s made to your family. A farewell dinner, a handmade gift and, if she’s gone above and beyond to be accommodating during the transition, perhaps even a cash bonus are appropriate ways to say thanks.

by Michelle LaRowe
Editor in Chief

For parents who employ a nanny, the decision of whether or not to have and/or to disclose the use of a nanny cam is an extremely personal one. It’s a question that involves both legal and ethical considerations and, in my opinion, a close examination of the parents motive for considering one.

First, let’s start with the legal considerations. The laws regarding the use of nanny cams vary by jurisdiction. Local and state laws addressing nanny cams can be different from each other and from federal laws.  According to WECUsurveillance.com, the laws are a complicated patchwork of laws since federal laws don’t pre-empt the state and local laws. This means if your local law is more stringent, it could supersede the state or federal law.

The real bone of contention between the laws deals with the audio recording of parties who have not given consent. Most states allow for the use of video recording with or without consent or permission, provided the laws are respected. For video surveillance, the cameras cannot be placed in an area where a person has a reasonable expectation of privacy, like a bathroom or a nanny’s personal living quarters.

If you’re considering using a nanny cam, it’s best to seek the advice of a law professional or private investigator that is well versed in eavesdropping and wiretapping laws in your area.

Now let’s move onto the ethical consideration. For parents who are considering using a nanny cam, they’ll need to evaluate their ethical beliefs regarding privacy and videotaping their employee secretly.  Nanny and employer relationships are built on trust, and violating that trust can be problematic for some employers. How parents feel about privacy and trust may affect their decision to utilize surveillance.

In addition to the legal and ethical considerations, parents should consider their motive for using a nanny cam. Nanny cams should be used to deter abuse, not to capture it. If a parent feels that their child is being mistreated or neglected, or the parent simply doesn’t trust the nanny, the nanny should be terminated immediately. Parents should never leave their child in the care of anyone, nanny cam or not, with whom they do not trust completely.

Parents typically utilize nanny cams to calm fears or to investigate suspicions. For parents who wish to utilize a nanny cam to calm their fears, they should not let the nanny cam give them a false sense of security. The nanny cam should not be the sole determining factor for assessing the quality of care that their child is receiving, since some interactions will likely take place out of view of the camera.

For parents who want to evaluate the level of care that their child is receiving, stopping in unexpectedly, asking a neighbor to pop in periodically, coming home early without advance notice, checking in by phone throughout the day, and discussing any concerns with their nanny may provide information that can help them access their care giving arrangement.

Once parents have decided to use a nanny cam, they’ll need to decide if they should disclose that they will be using one. While they don’t need to disclose the location of cameras, the International Nanny Association (INA) does recommend that the employer disclose the use of nanny cams to their nanny, preferably before employment begins.

If parents plan to use a nanny cam and know this prior to hiring a nanny, they may wish to include a clause stating such in their nanny/family agreement. If employers wish to install one after their nanny has started, they should discuss the use of cameras with the nanny and give the nanny the option to leave the position, without the fear of negative consequences, according to INA.

Nannies typically do not mind being videotaped while working. Professional nannies respect a parent’s concern for their child’s welfare and may view a nanny cam as a benefit to themselves as well. What better way to show their employer’s that their child is being well cared for then to be recorded providing high quality care? Many nannies view a nanny cam as being a protective measure. Nannies who provide high-quality care and are under surveillance may also be protected from false accusations of abuse, since they are being videotaped during their working hours.

What nannies do mind, however, is being videotaped without their consent. To a nanny, being videotaped without her consent could indicate a lack of trust. Since nanny and employer relationships are built on trust, a nanny who feels that the trust was broken may leave her position.

At the end of the day, parents need to make their own decisions on whether or not to use a nanny cam and whether or not to disclose the use of one to their nanny.

I believe it is best practice for parents to disclose the use of nanny cams and for nannies to always work as if they are being watched.

Part of the nanny screening and hiring process should include a working interview and a trial period. While phone interviews, in-person interviews, reference checking and background screening give you tremendous insight into who parents are considering to have care for their children, the working interview and trial period gives both the parents and the nanny the opportunity to test-drive the employment arrangement and see if they’re truly a good match.

Even the most highly trained nanny won’t be the right nanny for every family and even the most accommodating employer won’t be right for every nanny. When parents are considering their equally qualified and screened candidates, the one they click with best will be the best hire.

The Working Interview

After the in-person and phone interview and once the parents are confident that they’d like to extend an offer of employment to a nanny, a working interview should take place. Working interviews can be a few hours or a few days, although generally speaking they last between 1 and 3 days.

During the working interview nannies have the opportunity to interact with the children, learn more about the family dynamics and get a better sense of the family’s needs, house rules and how the family operates. Parents get to observe the nanny in action, observe her interactions with the children and gauge how well she’ll fit in their family. Both the nanny and parents get the opportunity to see how their temperaments and personalities mesh and to see if there are any unexpected red flags.

During the working interview nannies should be paid for their services. This is industry standard. The compensation for the working interview should be determined prior to the interview.  Typically a set fee is agreed upon or the nanny is paid her asking hourly rate. If the nanny lives out of state and the family wishes to have her travel for a working interview, the family typically pays for those travel expenses. Nannies from out of state will typically stay with the family during their working interview.

Parents should not view the nanny’s working interview as free childcare. While the parents may leave the nanny with the children for short periods of time to allow her and the children to spend time together, the parents should be readily accessible. 

The Trial Period

After the working interview, both the parents and nanny should know if they wish to work together. If the parents wish to offer the nanny a position, it should be contingent on the results of a thorough background check and executed work agreement.

In the nanny and family work agreement, a trial period clause should be included. The clause should include the start and end dates of the trial period and the steps that need to be taken should the nanny or parents choose not to move forward with the employment arrangement.

During the trial period nannies should be paid for their services. They should be paid according the contract they’ve worked out. The contract should clearly outline the nannies hours, salary and role, duties and responsibilities.  Benefits, when benefits would kick in and tax responsibilities should also be included in the contract.

Trial periods generally last 30 days and give the parents and nannies a real opportunity to ensure that they’re a good match.

While trial periods can benefit all nannies and families, they are especially important for parents who are considering a live-in nanny and who are not used to having a nonfamily member live in their home. A trial period gives the family time to determine if they can assimilate to having a live-in provider without committing to having one for a full year. Should the parents discover they aren’t able to assimilate; they can end or alter the working relationship during the trial period without penalty.  A nanny with a long commute who truly wants the job may take it to later find that a 30 minute commute is really a 2 hour one with morning traffic. A trial period allows a nanny to exit the job without penalty.

Trial periods should not be used as a replacement for interviews, reference checks and a thorough background screening. They should also not be used as temporary childcare while the parents continue their nanny search. The trial period provides an opportunity for parents or nannies to gracefully exit the employment relationship should it not meet their expectations.

Given the nature of a nanny’s work, it is essential that the nanny and parents can work well together. Nannies and parents should carefully consider any employment arrangement and take the necessary steps to evaluate if they are a good match prior to commencing employment. In addition to a thorough screening process, working interviews can help parents and nannies make educated employment decisions. Trial periods provide nannies and parents with an opportunity to exit the work agreement should the work environment and situation be less than expected.

By Michelle LaRowe
Editor-in –Chief

For many parents, once they hire a nanny they enter into one of the most complex employer/employee relationships that exist. In addition to the personal dynamics that drive the parent and nanny relationship, the business aspect of the relationship can’t be ignored.

As parents adjust to their role as household employers, they should beware of committing the top 10 sins that sabotage nanny and employer relationships.

1. Forgetting to leave your nanny’s paycheck. At the end of a busy week it’s not surprising that many nanny employers check into weekend mode before their nanny’s workday ends. Forgetting to leave your nanny’s check is a faux pas that you don’t want to commit. When you fail to pay your nanny you’re sending the message that her work is not important. Consider using a household payroll company, like Breedlove & Associates or HomeWork Solutions, or enroll in direct deposit through your bank to ensure your nanny is always paid on time.

2. Adding additional duties. Prior to starting work, you’ve likely discussed the duties and responsibilities you expect your nanny to take on. Adding additional duties that were not agreed upon, like doing the family’s laundry or running errands, can pose a real problem to the nanny and employer relationship. If there are additional duties you’d like your nanny to take on, speak to her about them and adjust her compensation, if necessary.

3. Coming home late, without notice. It is common courtesy to let your nanny know if you’re running late. While it can be tempting to tell her you’ll be home in 15 minutes, don’t underestimate your time frame. Instead, pad it by 15 minutes and be sure to compensate her for any additional time she’s worked.

4. Flipping out about non childcare related concerns. It’s not atypical for a nanny employer’s feelings of frustration, guilt, or nanny envy to emerge in bizarre ways. Sometimes when a nanny doesn’t load the dishwasher the exact way her employer does or forgets to empty the lint trap in the dryer, an employer will overreact and harshly scold the nanny. Outbursts can be prevented by discussing issues as they arise and avoiding the urge to take out any unmerited negative feelings you’re having on your nanny.

5. Altering the schedule, without notice. While most nannies understand that a fair amount of flexibility is required on the job, changing your nanny’s schedule without discussion or notice is likely to cause problems. Working as a nanny can be a tiring and isolating job. Nannies need time to recharge, reconnect with friends and family, and fulfill their own personal and professional commitments and obligations.

6. Changing the rules, midgame. Once the relationship has become established, changing the governing principles of it can be a real challenge. For example, if your nanny has always been allowed to take your children on outings and two years later you decide you’d no longer like her to do that, expect resentment to follow. Before making game changes, have an open and honest discussion with your nanny.

7. Volunteering your nanny without asking. While many nanny employers innocently volunteer their nanny to drive the carpool or to care for their friend’s children during a “playdate,” it’s best to discuss these additional responsibilities with your nanny first. While most nannies are glad to accommodate such requests, they could have real concerns that need to be addressed prior. Concerns could include having the appropriate car seats for all of the children or meeting the children prior to having responsibility for them.

8. Neglecting the work agreement. If you’ve established a work agreement with your nanny, adhering to it always best. If you’re unable to keep a commitment, perhaps honoring a specific holiday you’ve promised her off, discuss the possibility of altering the agreement and be ready to make a fair compromise and to offer any necessary additional compensation. It’s also a good idea to have a backup plan in place and to let your nanny know that you’re prepared to make alternative arrangements, but wanted to explore the possibility of altering the agreement with her first. Many nannies will agree to help you out, sacrificing their own plans or commitments to do so. Having a backup plan can take the pressure to say yes off.

9. Failing to sign an updated agreement. After your nanny completes her first year of service, signing an updated agreement is more than a mere formality. Doing so allows you to revisit the agreement, to make mutually agreeable adjustments, and to have an annual review. The typical nanny annual salary increase is 3-7% or more.

10. Ignoring your nanny. Open communication is the key to a successful nanny and employer relationship. Facilitate an environment that welcomes and respects your nanny’s advice, guidance, questions, compliments, and concerns. Remember, many nannies have years of childcare experience under their belt and often have solid strategies that can solve many of the most common parenting dilemmas.

While one of the most complex relationships, the nanny and employer relationship can also be one of the most rewarding. Mutual respect and open communication will pave the way for a long-term and successful working relationship.

All nanny employers aren’t created equally. Like with any career there are both good employers and bad ones. As you enter into a nanny relationship, commit to being the best employer you can be.  Remember, it is no secret that the best bosses tend to have the best employees. Begin setting yourself apart as a great employer today.

You can be a great nanny employer by:

1. Giving your nanny respect. Treating your nanny as a valued employee will go a long way in establishing yourself as a great nanny employer. More than anything, your nanny wants to know that you respect the work she does, the relationship she has with your children and the special insight she brings to the parenting table.

2. Paying your nanny well. Your nanny deserves to be paid more than minimum wage. She deserves to be paid well. When it comes to nanny care, you get what you pay for. Nannies who are paid well tend to be more committed to staying for a long-term position and to going above and beyond to ensure that their job is done well.

3. Showing your appreciation. From small things like saying “Thank you. I appreciate the quality of care you give to my children,” to bigger things like giving a year-end bonus, let your nanny know in tangible ways that you appreciate the work she does.

4. Encouraging your nanny’s relationship with your children. Give your children and your nanny permission to have a loving relationship. Allow and encourage them to bond. If your child says he misses his nanny on the weekend, don’t simply dismiss it. Instead, reaffirm that their relationship is important and missing his nanny is okay.

5. Encouraging regular communication. Set the stage for solid communication. Establish a time to have weekly meetings to review different things that are going on, what’s working, and what isn’t. Ensure that you are home a few minutes before your nanny is due to leave so you can talk about how the day went.  Provide ongoing opportunities for regular communication to happen.

6. Covering your nanny’s expenses. It shouldn’t cost your nanny to do her job well. If your nanny keeps a nanny journal, offer to reimburse her for it. If she brings her lunch every day and you can afford to supply it, offer to do so. If your nanny is accompanying you on a family vacation, be sure it doesn’t cost her any money out of her own pocket to do so.

7. Giving your nanny petty cash. Provide your nanny with cash to purchase incidentals like craft supplies, snacks or other items she may need from time to time. Having money on hand for tolls, gas, lunch or other things that come up can help to ensure that the costs incurred when taking care of your child don’t eat into her pay.

8. Offering incentives for continuing education.  Offer a membership to the International Nanny Association (INA) or better yet, consider paying for her to attend the INA Annual Conference. Encourage your nanny to take early childhood education classes at the local community college and offer to reimburse her. Providing an opportunity for your nanny to increase her skills and connect with other caregivers will boost her self-confidence, self-esteem and care giving abilities, all of which will benefit you and your child.

9. Scheduling periodic reviews. Whether it’s every six months or once per year, schedule a specific time without the children to sit down with your nanny and have a formal performance review. During this time share all the good things your nanny is doing, as well as any things that could use improvement. You’ll also want to give her an opportunity to provide feedback on how things are going from her perspective. End the meeting by giving her a written evaluation that includes any action steps designed to improve the quality of her work. Consider giving a merit raise (5-7%) or bonus (1-2 weeks’ pay) if your nanny has been performing well.

10. Keeping things professional. While it can be tempting to talk to your nanny about marital problems or to share the latest piece of gossip about the in-laws, don’t. If you ask your nanny to babysit Friday night and she declines because she has plans, resist the urge to ask her exactly what those plans are. To maintain a healthy nanny and employer relationship, there has to be healthy boundaries.

In any type of management situation the general rule of thumb is that things flow from the top down. If you as the nanny employer set the standard for excellence your nanny will follow suit. Great employers breed great employees. And it’s not by mistake.