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Many moms envy their nanny. Is this a surprise?

May 16, 2011

A recent survey shows that almost 70% of working parents envy their nanny during the summer. I must say, I’m not surprised about these results since envy is an issue in so many nanny-mother relationships. No doubt it’s higher in the summer than in the other season since the kids are outside and having fun with the nanny, but it’s a normal part of the relationship with the nanny. As an agency owner I saw more than once a mother fire the nanny because she was “too close” to the children. Some parents have done this multiple times. What damage is being done to the poor kids!

Fortunately, most moms are able to navigate these tricky waters with the help of a savvy nanny and come to a point where the mom accepts that the nanny can have a “mom-like” relationship with the kids, but still love the mom. We have a whole section of articles and videos by Dr. Lindsay Heller on nanny hiring that you will find helpful.

Over my years as  a nanny agency owner I much more frequently saw moms that realized that the reason they hired a nanny is to provide a loving mom-like relationship to their child in their absence. They understand that relationship will help provide the foundation for a healthy ability for their child to attach and relate throughout their life.


5 Responses to Many moms envy their nanny. Is this a surprise?

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Michaela says:

Definitely been there. Who hasn’t felt the green eyed monster rear its head whenever you see your kids happily playing with another woman who is basically stepping into your shoes day in and day out?

Georgia T. says:

I know it’s natural to feel that way – but what can you do to combat those jealous feelings? I don’t want to end up resenting my nanny!!

Judith P. says:

It’s hard not to get jealous when you see your kids running to the nanny each morning! But, as a working parent, it’s also something you have to make peace with.

Keila D. says:

I was let go once because the mom thought I was too close with her kids. She even told me that she just couldn’t deal with watching someone else raise them and watching them essentially fall in love with another mom-like figure. I was pretty upset about losing the job, but over time I’ve tried to view it as a compliment to my skills as a qualified nanny.

Donna J. says:

I think it’s natural for moms to battle feelings of jealousy over the relationship their children have with their nanny – I know I have – you just can’t let it consume you. At the end of the day, it’s important that your children love your nanny – that’s a sign that they’re getting the care they need and deserve!