Posts Tagged ‘nanny’

The Ultimate Compliment: Actress Tori Spelling named her daughter after her childhood nanny

Wednesday, September 5th, 2012

Tori Spelling’s third child is named Hattie Margaret. The baby’s middle name is in memory of Spelling’s childhood nanny. (Image Source: ToriSpelling.com)

Nannying is one of a handful of privileged professions in which the intangible benefits can echo years beyond the actual job.

Working as a nanny comes with innate bonding experiences that can make you feel part of the family. Of course, not all hires turn out that way, but many do.

Take for example, former Nanny of the Year recipient Becky Kavanagh, who spent 20 years with the same Minnesota family playing an instrumental role in the development of their three children. As a kindergartner, one of the kids cutely declared, “Did you know that not everyone has a Becky? Some kids have to go to daycare!”

It’s heartwarming to see grown children still feel a deep connection to their childhood nannies.

One of those cases is actress Tori Spelling, who recently reminded her fans on her EdiTORIal blog how much her childhood nanny, Margaret, meant to her.

Margaret is the middle name of her 10-month-old girl Hattie, a baby who’s received considerable press coverage just for uttering her first word.

Tori tells her fans that the name “Hattie” was picked from a Google search for girls’ names, but that Margaret was “my nanny who was like a second mother to me.”  The actress notoriously has a strained relationship with her own mother, but the baby naming honor wasn’t meant as any kind of slam. Tori has been a huge advocate for nannies in her own life.

Tori Spelling has long been an outspoken advocate for the benefits of hiring a nanny. In this high-profile 2009 interview with Cookie Magazine, she bristles at the idea of mothers being jealous when nannies bond with their children.

“I never understood being competitive with a nanny,” she told Cookie magazine in 2009, sharing her experiences with her nanny Patsy. “If you have someone you trust and who loves your kids, then what an amazing thing you’ve done for them.”

Right on, Tori!

Nannies are not replacements for either parent. Rather, they are a critical part of the parenting team. Hiring a nanny should involve finding someone who reflects parents’ child rearing views and who shares their values (Check out eNannySource’s screening questions here).

As for Tori’s nanny, it looks like there will some job security for the immediate future.  The actress and husband Dean McDermott are expecting their fourth child (gender TBA) soon.

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Should I tattle on a nanny?

Wednesday, August 3rd, 2011

I recently came across a post on Google News called “Should I tattle on a nanny?”  The story was about a woman who ran into a friend’s daughter in Starbucks and went over to talk to the girl while the nanny texted. The nanny never even looked up to see who her charge was talking to.

I found this interesting since it wasn’t black or white, but in a gray zone, at least for the writer of the article. It didn’t involve child neglect or anything like that, just a total indifference to the nanny’s charge.

What I found interesting about this blog post was that the writer was so conflicted about telling the girl’s mom. She even went so far as to say that she was upset about seeing this and has thought about it over and over. She seems to be concerned that her friend might not take the news well.

Personally if someone found my child in the same circumstances I’d want to know right away so that I could evaluate what to do. Was this nanny too engrossed in a text conversation and this only happened once, or was this a regular occurrence? In what other ways isn’t she attentive to my child? I bet the mom already has some doubts about this nanny and her friend telling her about this might cause her to take additional action. I see it as an obligation to a friend.

How do you see it?

 

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Why Pay Nanny Taxes?

Wednesday, January 5th, 2011

In spite of all the prominent people that have had big consequences for not paying nanny taxes, compliance still remains low. What does a family get out of paying their nanny tax?

  1. Peace of mind. You don’t have to worry about an audit or a disgruntled nanny turning you in.
  2. Feel good about yourself. Your nanny gives your family so much. Help her out by paying into her Social Security and unemployment and disability insurance.
  3. The cost is lower than you might think with tax credits and flexible spending accounts
  4. It’s so easy. A service like Breedlove & Associates takes care of everything and the cost is very reasonable.

So, go ahead and get your new year off to a good start and start paying your nanny taxes!

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How do families go about screening online nannies?

Thursday, November 18th, 2010

by, Steve Lampert President eNannySource.com

In 2001 when I started eNannySource.com it seemed as if the users of the site were almost pioneers. At the time I had been running Buckingham Nannies in Los Angeles for several years and the norm in those days was to hire through a nanny agency, get a referral from a friend or go to Craigslist. Families were afraid to even enter a credit card on the internet. How times have changed!

Nowadays it seems that almost everything is done over the internet and perhaps there is too much casualness about it. Hiring a nanny is not a trivial matter, but yet most everyone feels they can screen a nanny because they “know how to judge character”. Back in my nanny agency days we never felt that our “gut” was the most important part of making the decision on which nannies to represent and send out to families with our “stamp of approval”. We felt that was an important piece, but only a piece.

An important tool in our nanny screening arsenal was our nanny application. This application is much more complete than any online nanny profile can be. Areas of particular interest to us were her job history, references, and why she left those jobs. Seems very basic, but so important because through looking at her job history and then checking her references we could verify that she actually worked for those people, the reasons the job ended were truthful and the references weren’t fake. I wonder how many families do this? Perhaps the single most important part of screening a nanny, after the personal interview, is reference checking. We checked to see if the refs were real and more importantly we found out so much about the nanny. Most nanny references are given by the moms. We found that they greatly cared about the welfare of other kids that nanny might work for, as well as how she got along with the mom. We heard many amazing stories about truly awesome nannies—and some real nightmare stories too!

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California Nanny Gate. What went wrong?

Thursday, October 14th, 2010

Here in California we’ve had another “Nanny Gate” occur that could affect the governor’s race. I’d like to share a few of my thoughts on the subject. Having owned a prominent Los Angeles nanny agency for many years that only placed “legal” nannies I can say that most families didn’t care about this issue, any more than they cared about paying their nannies “on the books”. Families are interested in whether the person will be good for their children.

In the Meg Whitman case the family hired their housekeeper through a well known nanny agency in the Bay Area, Town & Country Resources. From what I’ve read the nanny agency did their job and got the documentation they needed from the housekeeper and no doubt gave the paperwork to the Whitman family.

What went wrong? The law is clear that employers and nanny agencies don’t have to verify the paperwork submitted to them. Thankfully they don’t have to decide if a Social Security card or Green Card is legitimate. Now E-verify is readily available to verify documents, but I don’t believe it was as well established when the housekeeper was hired as it is now.

My sympathies were with the family until they received the notice from the Social Security Administration saying the SSN didn’t match their employee’s name. That was the red flag. The family didn’t follow up on that and continued to keep the housekeeper employed without asking any questions.

If it were me, I would have investigated this issue further and since they considered the housekeeper a “member of the family” I would have done what we do for family—gotten right to work to help her get documentation. The nanny that works for my family for over 13 years now had a work permit that was renewed yearly. Eventually it would no longer be renewed and she would be “illegal”. We contacted an immigration attorney and through a long, arduous process that made it all the way to the Federal 9th Circuit of Appeals. She eventually obtained her Green Card and her life has been changed forever—as has our family’s.

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Having a second baby and your nanny

Thursday, September 30th, 2010

Dr. Lindsay Heller, The Nanny Doctor

 We are having a second baby.

    Do we need to pay our nanny more?

    Should we hire a new nanny?

 Adding a new child to your family may not be as big a change as that first child, however it is still a transition that a family needs to adapt to, and that includes the nanny! As soon as you feel comfortable sharing your big news of the new baby with family and friends, make sure you sit down and discuss it with your nanny.  Make sure you discuss the following:

  • Ask her how she feels about this new change
  • Ask her what questions she has about what this change will mean for her.
  • Inform her of your plan and again check in with the nanny about her thoughts and feelings.

 Before you sit down and let your nanny know about your new baby on the way. Sit down with your partner and discuss what the plan is going to be. Are you going to hire a new nanny or give your current nanny a raise? There are some factors to consider. What’s the age difference between your children? Will one person be able to help care for a newborn and your other child? Does your older child have activities that they need to be driven to? Will you be home for a bit as well? If you feel as though your nanny will be able to take care of both children and you are even planning to stay home for a bit at the beginning, then you will want to give your nanny a raise. If you feel as though you need additional help, then you will need to begin the search for an additional nanny. Sometimes families only need an additional nanny through the first few months, sometimes the first few years. You will need to decide what is right for your family.

 Most nannies will expect to have their nanny salary increased due to the increased workload and responsibility. Not increasing her nanny pay could create resentment on her part and that’s never good in a nanny/family relationship.

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Should I have my children present at the nanny interview?

Monday, September 27th, 2010

Dr. Lindsay Heller, The Nanny Doctor

This question is a very common question that I get from new moms. There are many layers to the nanny interview process and many layers of screening candidates that needs to take place.  Your children really don’t need to be present until the very end of the process. Exposing your children needlessly to nannies who may or may not be their next nanny can leave them feeling anxious and uneasy. At first, you may choose to screen nanny candidates out via e-mail. Then you may choose to interview potential nannies over the phone where you continue to narrow your search. After that step, you may choose to Skype with them or meet them at a local coffee shop to see how you feel about them in person.  Once you are pretty sure this candidate is “the one” you can invite them to your house for an in-person interview where they can meet the kids. When you have this meeting, take care not to tell the children this may be their next nanny. Children may either attach themselves immediately or push this potential nanny candidate away if they know that this person may be their next nanny. Instead, have the nanny have a try-out day and tell the kids “Susan” is helping us out today. Watch how the children interact with her and see if it’s a good fit!

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NannyPalooza 2010. Celebrating the Nanny Profession-across America!

Tuesday, August 24th, 2010

The National Association for Nanny Care is putting on NannyPalooza events in 18 cities across the U.S. on September 18 and 19. NannyPalooza is to further the education of professional nannies. NannyPalooza corresponds with National Nanny Recognition Week, which is September 19-25. These events are priced at no more than $25 and are to further nannies education in areas such as language development, discipline and working with challenging kids.

Nannies help make working families WORK all across America, so let’s get the word out to all those hard working nannies about these fantastic events. For a list of dates and cities go to: http://www.nannycredential.org/npeventlist.html

eNannySource is dedicated to furthering the nanny profession and fostering understanding between nannies/children and nannies/families.

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Is Your Nanny Water Safety Certified?

Tuesday, June 29th, 2010

by, Lisa Werth  http://modernizingmarypoppins.com/
Lisa is a nanny with many years of experience

For more articles on nanny safety issues

In July of 2008 and now in June of 2010 two nannies have died in drowning accidents while caring for young charges. That is two nannies too many.

Many years ago, I myself as a nanny on duty at the time had to dive into a deep pool to pull a struggling child out of the water.

When I heard of both tragedies the immediate thought that came to mind was could they swim? Why did they never learn what to do in case of a water emergency?

After the first nanny died a few summers ago, I started to become vocal about the need for families with pools who were hiring caregivers to be responsible and hire only those that can swim. In May of 2009 I was out on a hike with another nanny one weekend near the Potomac River, and she asked if it was possible to swim in it? I looked at her as if she was crazy. Rivers have currents and the Potomac has big rocks.

This got me thinking though about what people do and don’t know about water in general and what precautions do they need to take.

With my charges, I like to get out in nature, whether it’s a trail over a creek or river, near a duck pond at a playground, or on the shoreline of a lake. I’ve done all types of things with them over the years. In hindsight, in most of those jobs my former employers never asked me if I could swim or test me for water safety knowledge.

Yes, I do know what to do; I nearly drowned when I was four. A childhood neighbor friend of mine did drown the summer we were twelve in a diving accident. A few years after that my cousin’s toddler drowned in a bath tub. I am perhaps hyper vigilant when it comes to children and water. I read all the articles and pamphlets that I come across about precautions and procedures to take.

According to the American Red Cross each year, more than 830 children ages 14 and under die as a result of unintentional drowning. On average, an annual 3,600 injuries occur to children due to a near-drowning incident.

I have been on many interviews with families that have pools, or go sailing and boating. Some live or vacation on waterfront properties. Many of my charges have been in swim lessons and then want to go to the pool or the beach, and the parents expected me to take them. Likewise, there are many nannies in our country working in situations where water is a part of the job. One thing I do know, is while life guards are good, it doesn’t mean a nanny should let down her guard.

I am American Red Cross Water Safety Certified. I received this training through a nanny retreat. At the International Nanny Association Conference in the spring of 2010 several others became certified in water safety too. It would be great to see a majority of nannies become trained in this. If there is a

nanny agency, association or organization in your area encourage them to offer a training time on water safety including the ARC certification.

Parents, if you are going to hire and nanny and you have a pool or even think there is the remote possibility of them being near or in any type of water, please insist that your nanny be trained in water safety. And, know water safety yourself; take the course together if you both need it. It is inexpensive and just a few short hours of your time.

After you complete the water safety training have drills with your nanny and children. Create Rules and plans for what to do in an emergency. Post them somewhere near your pool because in a panic situation having those steps there can be a extremely vital to help remind people on what to do.

Periodically look over the guidelines put out by the American Red Cross and other health and safety organizations. Know CPR and First Aid, sometimes the accidently drowning can occur after a slip and head injury. Have pool side medical emergency kits and devices to aid you if needed. Always have a cell phone nearby too. Put the address to your location on the safety rule board you have posted so if visitor needs to call 911 they can direct the dispatcher to where you are.

Please obey city ordinances regarding gates, covers, etc. around pools. Make sure household doors that lead off towards pools and bodies of water are securely locked so that curious little children don’t head out toward the water undetected.

Make sure your friends and neighbors know your expectations too. One time as a nanny, I came home while my employers and charges were away to discover some friends of theirs using the pool. Another time the neighborhood boys came over to apologize for being in it without telling their parents or us.

Here are some additional links for you to have as reference to go over with your family and nanny,

http://www2.redcross.org/services/hss/tips/healthtips/safetywater.html

http://kidshealth.org/kid/watch/out/water.html

http://www.safekids.org/safety-basics/safety-resources-by-risk-area/drowning/open-water-safety-tips.html

PLEASE, help prevent another child and nanny drowning tragedy.

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